


Paparazzi

by Losille



Series: The Hollywood Series [3]
Category: Actor RPF, Spartacus Series RPF, True Blood RPF
Genre: F/M, Gen, Other, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-15 12:45:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 77,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Losille/pseuds/Losille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Waking Up In Vegas. Alexander and Benny woke up in Vegas accidentally married and hungover, but along the way, they found a deep, abiding love and a fairytale that seemed surreal. Blindsided by controlling studios, conniving acquaintances, crazy fans and paparazzi hellbent on getting a piece of the new It Boy, they learn what life in Hollywood is really like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is not intended to bash anyone Alex is seeing or not seeing, whether he’s confirmed or denied it or has just been seen in a lot of pictures with said person. This plot line is merely a “what if” with the use of some recognizable names, places and activities Alexander may have engaged in up to now. My hope through writing this is that Kate Bosworth comes off like a real person and not the villain some of us might consider her. She won’t be completely free of sin, love her or hate her, but neither will Benny, Alex and other characters be free of sin. My hope toward the end is that we (read: I) may come to a place of acceptance when in regard to Alexander's love life.

Prologue  
  
Harry liked singing when he played with his blocks. It reminded him of his mommy... his mommy that he wanted to hug him and sing to him instead of singing to him over the puter thing Grandma and Poppy always yelled at... unless they were talking to Mommy. But his mommy had been gone in that puter thing for a long time. Instead of running around in his swim trunks like when his mommy left, his Grandma made sure he put on his favorite Thomas the Tank sweatshirt now. He didn’t really know why they had to stick his mommy in that place anyway. Or why there were lots of strange people around her all the time that talked funny.  
  
He liked listening to people who talked funny. Alex did sometimes. So did Alex’s friends, like Stephen. He liked Stephen because he had the same name as his Poppy. He also played blocks with him, so he was okay.  
  
But Stephen still wasn’t his mommy. Neither was Auntie Joie, his grandma, or the pretty Kate lady who was Alex’s friend. Kate went out with Alex and Stephen and Stephen’s girlfriend, Anna, last night. He didn’t think Stephen and Anna really liked Kate. Alex liked her, though, but not like he liked Mommy. So that’s why he liked Kate even though she didn’t know how to play blocks with him.  
  
What he really liked was his new room. When Alex came back from working with the pretty Kate, they moved into a new house. He wasn’t supposed to tell his mommy about it. Alex said it was a surprise for her birthday present. But he wanted to tell his mommy about all the fun new toys he got to add to his other ones and the big boy bed he and Alex picked out together. It was Thomas the Tank.  
  
One time, though, he got scared because he couldn’t find Alex. It wasn’t like Mommy’s house where she was always in her sewing room across from his room, or at the room at the end of the hall. With all the men bringing stuff into the house, he lost Alex. But Alex found him when he cried out. And then they went to Auntie Joie’s and Uncle Josh’s house for dinner. Auntie Joie made him a hamburger instead of the yucky fish she made Josh and Alex.  
  
Then they went back to Mommy’s house, where there wasn’t anything anymore and he could run around and play in his mommy’s sewing room because she didn’t have anything in it. But now they were back at the new house, and he was playing with his blocks and singing. Alex was talking on the phone and looking through a book. The book was bigger than the ones everyone read to him before he went to bed.  
  
Right after Alex put his phone down, it started playing Mommy’s song, and Harry jumped up and ran over to his new daddy.  
  
“Here, Harry, say hi to your mom,” he said, holding the phone out.  
  
Harry took the phone and put it to his ear. He waved with his other hand. “Hi, Mommy!”  
  
“Hi baby,” she said. “How are you?”  
  
“Okay,” he replied.  
  
“How was your day with Alex?” she asked.  
  
Harry shrugged. “Awex got birthday present.”  
  
“Oh, he did?” she asked. “What did he get me?”  
  
Alex reached over and grabbed the phone from him. “That’s not fair, Benny.”  
  
“What not fair?” Harry asked.  
  
“Say ‘I love you’ and ‘goodnight’,” Alex said into the phone and placed it back to his ear.  
  
Mommy was laughing.  
  
“Mommy!”  
  
“Goodnight, my love,” she said. “I’ll see you in a couple weeks.”  
  
“Okay, Mommy!” he said and ran back to his blocks. He had to build something for his mommy’s birthday. He just didn’t know what.  
  
When Alex said goodbye, he sighed and got up from his chair. “Your mom says it’s time for bed.”  
  
“No,” Harry said.  
  
Alex looked at him. “We have to go to bed, Harry. It’s late. And we have to pick out your mommy’s other birthday present tomorrow.”  
  
“Another?” Harry asked. His mommy never got this many presents for her birthday.  
  
“Yes,” Alex laughed. “Let’s go to bed.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry said, getting up and following his tall daddy through the new house and to his new room upstairs. He didn’t like the stairs. There were too many and he’d never seen them in a house before he went to Auntie Joie’s. But Alex helped him and then helped him into his big boy bed.  
  
“Do you think you can sleep here tonight?” Alex asked.  
  
Harry nodded. “Yes! I’m big boy!”  
  
“If you need me, stay here and say ‘Alex’,” he said.  
  
“Okay, Daddy,” Harry said. His daddy flipped on a switch on the wall but nothing happened. He said they could talk through the speaker next to the switch. “Story?”  
  
“Sure,” Alex said, grabbing a book from the book shelf and coming over to him.  
  
No, Harry thought, he liked it when Alex read to him best of all. Better than singing and Thomas the Tank and hamburgers... because he loved his Alex. His daddy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1  
  
Benny sighed distractedly, her thoughts half way across the world in LA and not on her staff getting the actors into costume for the next scene they would shoot that afternoon. She knew she should pay more attention to her mountain of work, but as her time here in New Zealand drew to a close, she found her mind wandering more and more about the life she had left back in Los Angeles and how much she missed it.  
  
Of course, it helped that she’d had the one small visit home in August, but that had come at a price. She’d had to choose between seeing Alexander or Harry; Alexander had started filming his movie in Shreveport and her son had stayed with his grandparents in California. She wouldn’t make it to both destinations on her four day trip home.  
  
It had been the toughest decision she had yet to make in her life, even more difficult than it had been to accept this position in New Zealand. Choosing between the two men she loved equally and for different reasons had nearly killed her.  
  
However, Alex had the strength of character and grace to look at her squarely one evening while they chatted on Skype and tell her to quit worrying about him and to go see Harry. He’d been right, and it bothered her she had even considered doing anything other than visiting Harry. She’d cried her eyes out that night, realizing what an amazing person she had for a husband… a husband that understood her and knew what was right even if it meant he had to sacrifice something for it.  
  
And yet, she’d left both of them. As the days, weeks, and months ticked by, Benny wondered if she had made the right decision after all just to prove a point to HBO. She probably could have made do without the True Blood job, and she would have still been back in the States with both her husband and her son and wouldn’t have had to worry about the things she heard through the grapevine and gossip magazines.  
  
She wouldn’t have had to go to sleep at night without feeling her husband’s arms around her. She wouldn’t have to miss the smell of her son’s hair and hugging him to her chest. So many things would be different, but then there would still be misgivings about staying back with Alex and Harry. Namely, she would have been found out at Alex’s wife, and that would have damaged his fledgling sex symbol status, if not caused their life to becoming crazier than it already appeared.  
  
She’d heard him talk about his trip to ComiCon in San Diego, and how he’d been overwhelmed with the attention he had received. How he couldn’t go anywhere in public in Hollywood without people starting to look up and take notice of him. Really, she couldn’t be more proud of him, even if it did come at such a steep price. She knew he deserved everything he worked hard for, and she refused to step in the way of his goal in life, no matter if the goals had changed with her and Harry entering his life.  
  
Ultimately, she knew the right path was to step back and let Alex have his spotlight, but it didn’t make it easier when he saw the pictures of him and Kate out at the Scream Awards. Benny hadn’t even met this woman, and really couldn’t feel her out until she did, but it was disconcerting to hear about Alex getting into a car with her as they left. Or them kissing and holding hands. She knew Alex to be affectionate with very little personal space. It was part of his European charm. He was open with himself.  
  
But other people took it the wrong way and started with the conjecture. Benny refused to listen or read any of it, but her morbid curiosity always won out in the end. And it only made her upset. She knew better than to look, but could anyone really blame her? She’d watched the same thing happen to her last long relationship and had been blind to the cheating. At least she wanted to be prepared for it this time if Alex came to her and said he wanted a divorce.  
  
What had saved him, and perhaps a bit of her sanity, was the fact that he had told her all about the evening when he had returned home that very same night as the awards show; he had called her as he was putting Harry to bed, and they talked about it for a little while. It had been difficult to hear him explain it, even if he said it was nothing and there were just some nosy reporters. An ocean between them really did put a rift in the relationship that was hard to bridge. Without being around all the time, there was no fool proof way to know the truth.  
  
However, Tess, who had gone with Sam to the show, had called and confirmed Alex’s story. The only other people Benny trusted more than Tess was her family.  
  
Still, Benny couldn’t wait to go home and get back into the groove of life. She’d already turned down the supervisor role for next season of Spartacus if it made it out of its infancy. After her contract with True Blood was up in June next year, she wanted to consider quitting for good and ending the hold the studios held over her and Alex.  
  
“Earth to Benny!”  
  
She jumped from her seat, placing a hand to her heart to still its racing. Turning around to the voice, she came face-to-chest with a solid mass of perfect, sculpted muscle. Lifting her head, she found Jai’s blue eyes and pale blonde curls. She dared anyone to find another man who looked more like a Greek god.  
  
“Yeah?” she asked.  
  
“My gladiator underwear tore again,” he said, pointing to the thick, dirty linen they had affectionately nicknamed ‘gladiator underwear’ because no one could remember that they were historically called subligaculum. Indeed, there was a rip just under his navel and below the leather fastenings, making the fabric precariously held in place.  
  
Benny frowned. “I’ve repaired the exact same spot five times on different sets of these. What the hell are you doing to them?”  
  
“Hey, don’t yell at me,” he said. “Yell at Andy. He’s the one who keeps messing up the fight sequences, making me move fast.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m sure it’s all Andy,” Benny rolled her eyes. “Well, drop ‘em.”  
  
Over the past five months, she’d grown incredibly comfortable with the male cast she was working with. Really, their costuming was minimal and they normally paraded around without one stitch of fabric on their amazing bodies. Benny had always grown up around men on the renaissance faire circuit who could care less about dropping trousers in front of everyone, but it was considerably different when all of the men walking around naked looked like these men. At times, she felt like a guy who couldn’t stop staring at a woman’s breasts. Only, she stared at other fine male attributes.  
  
But, as her mother pointed out, once you saw one, you saw them all.  
  
Jai stepped out of his costume—if she could really call it that—and handed it over to her. She was glad that he was one of the guys who preferred having more support in the form of a jock strap beneath his gladiator underwear when he wouldn’t have to go nude for a scene. It made fixing the rip quickly just a little less revolting.  
  
Benny eyed the dirty fabric distastefully. She looked around the room, finding that Lachlan was free to stitch up the rip. “Lachlan, please fix this.”  
  
Lachlan jumped up and grabbed the costume and headed back to his sewing machine. She turned back to her paperwork, sifting through it and still finding that her mind wasn’t on the work. Especially as Jai perched himself down on a stool to her left. And truly, it was nothing more than a perch, being that it was such a small stool and he was such a hulking man.  
  
“What is it?” she asked.  
  
“Nothing,” he said, shaking his head with a smile. “When do you leave?”  
  
“In two weeks,” she said. “Wait, how did you know I was thinking about that?”  
  
He grinned. “When I first met you, and we talked about your little boy back home, you got the same faraway look in your eyes.”  
  
Benny sighed. “Sorry. I’m just really homesick. That trip home in August wasn’t enough.”  
  
One side effect of working in such a setting, with people getting up close and personal due to the material, it lent to a friendlier atmosphere. She’d had many a conversations with the actors and actresses on set as she was dressing them or fixing something, and she would count a good lot of them her friends. Of course, because she was costume supervisor, it gave her an opportunity to work more one-on-one with the talent instead of being stuck in the work room all day.  
  
“I can see that,” he said. “I hope we weren’t all too horrible to be around.”  
  
“Oh, no, I’ll miss you all,” she said. “Don’t you think I won’t.”  
  
Jai laughed. “We’re pretty unforgettable.”  
  
“You’re something.” She signed off on a few of the requisition forms she had to get to a wholesaler for the linen they used on the gladiator underwear.  
  
“Hey, Benny?” he asked.  
  
“What?”  
  
“What are you doing tonight?”  
  
Benny looked up at him, meeting his eyes. He wasn’t doing what she thought he was, was he? “Uh, sleeping probably.”  
  
“Well, how about before you sleep, you come out to the pub with a few of us,” Jai said. “You haven’t come out with us in a few months and we’re missing you.”  
  
Benny eyed him warily. He seemed sheepish, and really more like a sacrificial lamb than anything. She glanced around at the others of the cast and crew who usually went on these excursions. Manu tried to look interested in fastening his belt, and caught her eyes for a brief second in the mirror he stood in front of; Andy merely cleared his throat and turned around toward another costumer.  
  
“Sure, I guess,” Benny said.  
  
Jai appeared pleased. “Great. We’re going to a new place tonight… a little swanky. Why don’t I pick you up at like 9 at your apartment?”  
  
“Okay,” Benny replied. She still didn’t get a good feeling about this, but she did notice the tension in the room had lifted after she had accepted the invitation. “I’ll be ready. Now, leave me alone, I have work to do.”  
  
Jai grinned and stood up. “Fine,” he said in faux annoyance and left her to go bother Lachlan until he finished with his costume.  
  
Benny turned back to her work, but couldn’t shake the niggling feeling of some nefarious plot being hatched while she was none the wiser to it.  
  
\---  
  
Alexander yawned into his hand, attempting to wake himself up after getting too little sleep the previous night. He had tossed and turned, dreaming about Benny like he had for the past week or so. As the time drew closer that she would be coming home, he grew more anxious to see her, but he also worried about all the changes that had been happening stateside.  
  
After all, he hadn’t even been able to acclimate himself to all the changes, and he’d been here for all of them. This was, not least of all, in part due to his sudden change in celebrity status. He’d never encountered this type of furor before in relation to his career and him personally. Never before did he have women—and some men—stalking him at his hotel while he was filming, or paparazzi hounding him at certain places he went while back in LA. The flood of scripts he’d received had been unprecedented. It was all just a little overwhelming to him.  
  
Of course, he had other more personal changes to worry about as well. First, it meant becoming a father. Most men had some time, if not at least nine months, to wrap their head around being a father or stepfather. His fatherhood had been thrust upon him so suddenly, he felt so far behind the curve when it came to raising Harrison in Benny’s absence. Oh, certainly, he felt comfortable taking care of Harrison. That was one thing he’d learned early on in his life—how to help care for babies and children. Being the eldest of such a large family bestowed that ability upon him. However, he’d never had the stress of worrying how his brothers and sister turned out in the end. He didn’t worry that he taught them to become fully functioning, productive citizens of society.  
  
Now that was hit utmost priority. For a man who still wasn’t sure _he_ was a fully functioning, productive citizen of society, that was a lot of pressure. Especially when he didn’t have his wife’s guidance to fall back on. Obviously, her parents and Joie had helped a lot, but it really was a strain they hadn’t foreseen when Benny had been sent as far away from him as possible.  
  
He still wasn’t completely over that, either. Nothing would ever restore his trust in studios. Now he could say he had lived and learned the hard way that everything had to be spelled out in contracts. The very fact that his freedom to be with his wife out in public had to be fought over and written in a contract disgusted him. But it was a mistake he would never make again.  
  
Ever.  
  
He hoped Benny could withstand the fishbowl effect into his life he now encountered daily. She had told him repeatedly that she didn’t want to be in the spotlight—that was his thing, and she was happy standing in the backdrop being his support when he needed it. But he feared she would have no choice but to be in the spotlight. Not when it came out that she had married the new It Man.  
  
He’d had a small taste of what people would do and say about his significant other, even when it wasn’t a significant other. Evan had visited him on set for a few days as a friend, and the amount of flak he’d gotten for it had been astounding. He’d tried not to care, but now that he’d made sure every publicity decision was run by him before it went into effect, he couldn’t not care. It was his daily life.  
  
This didn’t include the day out on the lake in Shreveport he’d had with Willa and few of this other castmates. People wanted to know who was hanging all over him. The knowledge of this was both disturbing and flattering in an odd way.  
  
And now they had moved on to Kate. He liked Kate. They had a lot in common and had met when his dad filmed Pirates of the Caribbean and Kate had been dating Orlando at the time. It didn’t help that Kate and him were in a movie together. Their publicists, in which they now shared, wanted them to be seen together to help the small movie get publicity. The production company wanted it as well. He was okay with a dinner here and movie there. Up to now, they’d always gone with other friends. After all, he considered her a friend, too, but he was also aware of the fact that she wanted more from him. Her attention was flattering, but she knew about Benny and Harry, and had remained respectful about his wishes.  
  
He just didn’t know how Benny would take his friendship with Kate, especially if their job called upon them to spend more time together. As much as Benny tried to appear the model of strength and self confidence, he knew it was a very different thing in private. Benny was a very insecure woman about most everything in her life, and she still compared herself to the women _she_ thought he should be dating.  
  
Seeing him out with Kate, who was the complete antithesis of who Benny was, might cause a problem. And he didn’t want that. At all. Because he liked Kate, but loved Benny.  
  
Would she understand that? How would she deal with it, in addition to things people would say? Stories they would make up?  
  
He almost didn’t want her to come back to have to face this madness.  
  
Yet, he wanted her to come home. He wanted to hold her again, and kiss her, and make love to her. The house he had bought them, as his one step toward creating the family and home life he yearned for, was ready for her to come home to and enjoy with him.  
  
Frankly, he just wanted to be in her presence again. There was something about being around her that made him feel different. Giddy. It turned out to be a strange electricity and zeal for life he had lacked for the past five months that he hadn’t realized had been in his life until he didn’t have it any more.  
  
He really couldn’t wait for her to come home so they could officially start their life together. Then they could get this legal stuff out of the way and he could officially adopt Harrison as his son.  
  
To save her the hassle, Alexander had taken it upon himself to find a good attorney to take care of the adoption and legal issues while keeping it as silent as possible. He had since found it interesting that “good” and “discreet” were synonymous with “expensive”.  
  
At least the contract renegotiation for the third season had gone swimmingly for him--he’d not have to worry about money for a long time now, not even after buying the house he did close to Anna and Stephen. Despite the obvious drawbacks of being so well recognized and wanted on a television show, it did pay back in the end. Literally.  
  
But, as he found out belatedly, he had to apply for a new green card now that he had married an American citizen… before he could even consider adopting Harry. What Alex had found was that the American government and paperwork were ridiculous, especially when it involved a rushed marriage that could be seen as something he had done for citizenship.   
  
After spending a few months getting all his paperwork in order, and handing it over to his attorney, they had finally called him to discuss the case. Alexander listened to his attorney drone on about something or other over the phone, but he really could care less about the legal aspects. He just wanted to be told what to fill out, where to go to meet with INS for an interview and what he should do.  
  
He now sat at the conference table, tapping his fingers and waiting for his attorney to appear. The door from the side opened, a tall woman with horn-rimmed glasses and a severe hairdo stepped into the room. She looked to be in her fifties, her auburn hair graying and the wrinkles on her skin fine, yet becoming.  
  
“Ah, Mr. Skarsgard, I’m sorry it took so long,” she said.   
  
‘That’s okay. It gave me time to think through some things,” he said.  
  
“I’m Fran Goldstein, Mr. Johnson’s associate, by the way. Mr. Johnson had an emergency hearing in court today, so he asked me to meet with you.”  
  
Alexander stood and shook her outstretched hand. It was a strong handshake, and he liked that. “That’s okay, I understand. I just need to know what the next step is.”  
  
“Of course,” she nodded, placing his brown file on the conference table. She motioned to the seat he had exited. “Please have a seat.”  
  
He frowned. He didn’t like the way she told him to sit down. Not because it seemed rude, but because there was something underlying her tone. Something that told him whatever she was about to say would be bad.  
  
She sat down and opened the file, extracting the only document from his marriage in his possession. Looking it over one last time, she sighed.  
  
“I guess there’s no easy way to say this, Mr. Skarsgard—”  
  
“It’s Alex, please,” he said.  
  
“Alex,” she replied, “there’s no easy way to say this… but you aren’t married.”  
  
“Bullshit,” he replied. “I have a ring, a night of regrets and everything to go with it.”  
  
She sighed and held up the license. “Did you even look over the license?”  
  
“No,” he said. “It’s a marriage license… all the spots are signed…”  
  
“Look at the officiant’s signature,” she said, handing him the piece of paper.  
  
Alex took the paper, not really wanting to look at it. Did it matter, anyway, if they paper didn’t say it? He felt married. He wanted to be married. That’s all that mattered, didn’t it?  
  
He read the officiant’s details. “Elvis Presley, Outside the Bellagio, Las Vegas, Nevada… fuck this! We couldn’t have been that drunk! And Joie—Joie… she was there.”  
  
Glancing at the witness signature, he verified that, indeed, Joie had been there and had “witnessed” it.  
  
A thousand different thoughts shot through his head, a million different things that didn’t make sense to him. It he could just get that night back… remember everything that had gone on. How could they not be married? And why hadn’t Joie ever said anything? Anger, resentment, sadness, and a strange feeling of detachment rose in him. When he had been “married” he had felt strangely whole as a person. Now he felt as though he was missing a big part of the definition that he had for himself.  
  
“The marriage is invalid,” the lawyer said. “You were never married by a licensed person. If you wish to be married, you can go to Las Vegas and have a ceremony performed by someone who is licensed. You have one year from the date you filled out this application to have the ceremony.”  
  
“Oh god,” he said. “I’m not married?”  
  
“No,” she replied. “So your immigration status will not change until you are officially married. If you still want to be married to this woman, then we would be happy to continue working with you to get a green card and dual citizenship. As for the adoption of your girlfriend’s son, you’ll have to speak with your family law attorney to see how to proceed.”  
  
“She’s my _wife_ , not my girlfriend.”  
  
“Right,” Fran said. “We have all your information and will proceed after a legal ceremony has been performed and certified.”  
  
“Okay,” he replied, running and hand through his hair. “Oh, god. Now I can actually do things the right way. I don’t know if this is luck or a sign.”  
  
She smiled a tight smile.  
  
Alex stood up hastily. “Is there anything else?”  
  
“No,” she said. “I’m sure you want to get back to your wife and tell her all this.”  
  
“I do,” he said and headed to the door, his mind a maelstrom of thoughts and ideas about how he was going to break this to Benny, and then how he was going to make good on all this.  
  
But his first order of business was to hunt Joie down and make her tell him the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2  
  
On her list of strange nights, this one had probably proved to be in the top five of her strangest nights.  
  
Jai had picked her up promptly at 9 PM, despite the fact that filming that night hadn’t wrapped on time. Benny had rushed around getting ready because she wanted it to at least appear as though she belonged with all of the other well-dressed celebrities that would be there. They wouldn’t want to see her in jeans and a shirt, her go-to wardrobe while at work. And she was sure the pub they were going to tonight had a dress code. Jai had said “swanky” after all, and he showed up looking especially dapper in a black single breasted cashmere suit. The brilliant blue of his dress shirt brought out the pale blue of his eyes and made his bleached curls stand out that much more.  
  
There was no doubt the man was attractive, but he wasn’t the man who was back home in LA waiting on her return. However, the disconcerting part about her attraction to Jai was, simply, that she was attracted to him in such a sexual way. Despite her feelings for Alex, she couldn’t help herself every so often looking over at him and sighing.  
  
But then, she knew any woman and some men with a pulse would look at Jai like that, even those who had been happily married for ten, twenty… or even fifty years. She would never cheat on Alex, but Benny definitely could not keep herself from looking at the man who was, for all intents and purposes, her date for the evening.  
  
Jai seemed to notice her attention, too, as she caught him looking across the car at her a few times with a speculative look in his eyes. It unnerved her, though, to know he was interested in her like this. She’d purposely not told everyone about her husband, for contractual obligations and because she didn’t want to be bothered with questions about it. Now, she sensed that she probably should have said something, if only to keep anyone from being interested in her.  
  
She just hadn’t thought anyone would be interested in her. Why they might be interested in her, she hadn’t a clue. Again, the women on set were rare, but they were all incredibly more attractive than she was. At least she thought so. Perhaps she shouldn’t have worn such a low-cut or form-fitting dress tonight. In hindsight, perhaps the jeans and t-shirt would have been a better choice. She didn’t want to give him the wrong idea.  
  
When they finally arrived to the pub, Benny’s initial suspicions about a plan being hatched without her knowledge were true. They had staged an impromptu surprise party to celebrate her birthday. She always made a concerted effort to not be the center of attention. Unfortunately, she couldn’t escape this party, especially when she didn’t even realize they had remembered or known when her birthday was to begin with. Truthfully, she’d gotten a little teary-eyed at the realization that they considered her a friend to go to this trouble after a long, tiring day of filming.  
  
However, because everyone was exhausted from a long day, the party didn’t last long. They all had some food and a few drinks before people started petering out and leaving for the night. Jai looked half asleep after a few hours, but he remained attentive to her the entire night.  
  
Too attentive.  
  
So attentive that as she yawned into her hand, Jai appeared at her side. He grinned at her and leaned down to speak lowly. “You want to get out of here?”  
  
“Yeah. I’m pretty tired,” she said. “You guys kept me busy today.”  
  
“We could keep you busy all night, too,” he muttered with a grin.  
  
“Uh, I like my sleep, thank you,” she replied, but still the feeling of something strange pervaded her senses. Something wasn’t right. She just didn’t know what it was.  
  
They said their farewells to those few hearty souls that were lingering over their last drinks, and headed out to Jai’s car. The ride back to her apartment was quiet, but companionable as they listened to the radio.  
  
It wasn’t until Jai insisted on walking her up to her door to her tiny efficiency apartment, that it hit Benny what was going on in front of her. Just mere act of chivalry or no, Benny understood. Had he thought this was a date of the romantic kind? Oh, lord… she couldn’t have been that oblivious to his intentions.  
  
Thoughts raced through her head as she tried to think of something to tell him to let him down easily, but nothing came. The mixture of fatigue and her buzz made her slightly disoriented.  
  
“So, thanks for driving,” she said. What a thing to say.  
  
He chuckled. They’d once had a long conversation about how she was doomed to public transportation, hiring a chauffeur or having someone else on set drive her to and from work. She just didn’t get the driving on the wrong side of the road.  
  
“No problem,” he replied, stepping in closer, forcing her to look up at him.  
  
Though Jai was a good two inches shorter than Alex, he made up for it in muscle. The man was imposing, and it worried her. She didn’t think Jai would do anything untoward, but a girl could never be certain about it. He had backed her up against her apartment door and now she didn’t have any place to run if she had to.  
  
“Jai—,” she started, but stopped when he suddenly dove for her lips. Reality shot through her like lightening and she pressed back on his chest. “Jai, stop.”  
  
It was a relief when he disengaged easily and stepped back. He didn’t look mortified, but he did look sheepish. “Was it too soon? I can never tell on a first date if they are the kiss on the first date type.”  
  
“So this _was_ a date-date?” she asked.  
  
“Yeah…”  
  
Benny sighed. “Oh, Jai, I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I thought this was a friendly date.”  
  
“You can’t tell how bad I have it for you?” he asked.  
  
“I’m pretty oblivious to that stuff,” she said. “I mean, I kinda guessed something was up… but I brushed it off because you’re a friend.”  
  
“Do you go for the other team?” he asked.  
  
Benny laughed. “Jai, I’m married.... To a man.”  
  
“You’re married?” he asked. “You never once said anything about a husband.”  
  
“I’m not really supposed to talk about him much,” she said.  
  
His brows furrowed. “Why? Who is he? A spy or something?”  
  
“Uh, no,” Benny said. “He’s Alexander Skarsgard. The reason I was sent here on this job was to keep me away from him while the second season of True Blood aired. It’s a long story, and I really don’t want to reopen old wounds right now. But I’m madly in love with my husband.”  
  
“He hasn’t come to see you for five months, and you haven’t gone to see him all. What kind of relationship is that?” he asked.  
  
Benny pursed her lips. “I know that anger is one of the stages of grief, but seriously, Jai, grow up. He’s been busy with work like I have. We talk on Skype and on the phone all the time.”  
  
Jai frowned. “I’m sorry I didn’t meet you first. I’d treat you better than that.”  
  
“Alright,” she said. “That’s your opinion, and it’s wrong. I love Alexander, he loves me, and that’s the end of it. Maybe in another life you and I might have had a chance, but not this one.”  
  
He sighed, defeated. Despite his obvious anger, he seemed more accepting of it than she had planned. Jai offered her his hand. “Friends, then?”  
  
“Friends,” Benny said. “And I’m serious about that.”  
  
“Good, so that gives me the opportunity to make sure he’s right for you,” Jai said.  
  
Benny laughed. “I don’t think you really have sway in that matter, but if you must, have at it.”  
  
He gave her a lopsided grin.  
  
She rolled her eyes and stood on her toes, placing her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. “For the record, I think you could do a whole hell of a lot better than me and my issues with men. They are numerous and unpleasant, and Alex, I’m convinced, will one day realize this and leave me.”  
  
“Then he’d be an idiot,” Jai said. “I wouldn’t give you up if my life depended on it.”  
  
Benny giggled and kissed his cheek. “Goodnight, Jai. Thank you for this evening. It was wonderful.”  
  
“Even with the unwarranted face mauling?” he asked.  
  
“Yes, even with that,” she laughed, turning around to let herself into her apartment. She waved at him one last time as she shut the door and latched the deadbolt. Resting against it, she closed her eyes, saying a small prayer to whoever would listen. “Look, I know you think I need a man in my life... but close the freaking floodgates already. Alex is enough.”  
  
Yeah, somewhere God or a god was laughing at her.  
  
Her iPhone on the breakfast bar across the room then lit up, tinkling softly to let her know she had a message. She found that Joie had sent her a text. Looking at the clock and doing the math quickly, she wondered why Joie was messaging her at this hour. Unless something was wrong back in LA.  
  
The message read: “Call me as soon as you get this.”  
  
No words could inspire more fear in her halfway across the world. Trying to tell herself it could be happy, like Joie finding out she was pregnant or something, Benny dialed Joie’s cell.  
  
“Wow, that was quick,” Joie said by way of answering her phone after one ring.  
  
“What’s going on? Is everything okay? Is Harry hurt?” Benny asked.  
  
Joie sighed. “Harry is perfectly fine and sleeping in one of my guest rooms. Get on your Skype. I need to talk to you face-to-face.”  
  
“Joie... I’m really tired. Can’t this wait until tomorrow?” Benny asked. She walked over to the kitchen table and opened up her laptop, waiting for it to come out of sleep mode.   
  
“No, it can’t. If I don’t talk to you now about this, then I’m going to be up all night long, and you know how I get when I don’t have the requisite eight hours of beauty sleep,” Joie said. “Oh, good, you’re on.”  
  
The call waiting button on her Skype popped up with Joie’s name, and she clicked on it. “You know, if my calculations are correct, you’ve already lost two hours.”  
  
“Why the hell do you think I’m calling you now?”  
  
“Whatever. I’m glad you’re still up. I’ve had the oddest night,” Benny said. “Everyone planned a surprise party for my birthday. It was all very nice... but then it ended with Jai trying to kiss me. Apparently he thought this was a date. God, was that awkward.”  
  
“Benny--,” Joie said flatly  
  
“I mean he’s attractive and all, but he’s no Alexander,” Benny said.  
  
“Benny--,” Joie said again, as though trying to get her to stop.  
  
“What?!”  
  
Another person joined the screen. It took her a second to focus on Alexander’s face. Something told her this wasn’t going to be good, with both Alex and Joie at the same place so late at night. And Alex didn’t look happy at all... not that what she’d just said to Joie about Jai helped matters any.  
  
“Hi, baby,” Benny said.  
  
“Hey,” he replied, dropping a chair Benny recognized as one of Joie’s dining room chairs beside Joie. He sat down. “You look great.”  
  
Benny looked down at herself. “Thanks. Everyone threw me a surprise birthday party.”  
  
“Who’s this Jai fellow?” he asked, cutting straight to the point.  
  
“He’s one of the actors on set who got the wrong idea about me,” Benny replied. “It’s because I haven’t made it public that I’m married. I guarantee you he wouldn’t have looked at me twice had he known I was married.”  
  
“Hrmph,” he said, not appearing the least bit lightened in mood.  
  
Benny pursed her lips. “He’s my Kate, okay? We’re great friends, he wants more, but he knows I’m unavailable... besides the fact that I didn’t feel one thing when he kissed me... as compared to you.”  
  
Joie gagged. “Oh, god, could you please wait to talk about this later? I don’t want to see this bad porno play out to the very end.”  
  
“Then why the hell did you call me?” Benny asked. “And why is Alex at your house at 2 in the morning?”  
  
“Because Joie has something to tell you.”  
  
When Joie looked at him and gave him a disgusted face, rolling her eyes, Alex just glared back.  
  
“Tell her.”  
  
“God. Fine!” Joie said. “So... I may not have been completely truthful with you.”  
  
“Which time?” Benny joked.  
  
Joie pursed her lips.  
  
“Quit that, it gives you wrinkles,” Benny said. “What weren’t you truthful about?”  
  
“Okay, first of all, you know I love you. You’re my sister. And I only did what I thought would be good for you... and it _has_ turned out good for you in the end... so... just remember that,” Joie said in one breath.  
  
“Joie...”  
  
“YounevergotmarriedinVegas,” Joie ran together.  
  
Benny opened her mouth to reply, but then shut her lips, as the full weight of what Joie had said hit her.  
  
“Tell her what happened, Joie,” Alex said.  
  
“You went and got all the paperwork at the court, and filled it out, so that part is true... but you never actual sealed the deal. Ryan and I were with you, and we succeeded in talking you out of it, but we proceeded to go back to the hotel afterward. You two were so blazingly drunk. When a street Elvis stopped you in front of the Bellagio, you asked him to perform the ceremony,” Joie explained. “He signed everything like he was a real officiant. Really, I can’t believe neither of you ever read the license to check for validity.”  
  
“We had other shit to worry about, Joie,” Alex snipped.  
  
Benny thought back to the morning after, and now Joie’s reticence to and confusion over the marriage seemed so plain. She should have known something was up. But what she couldn’t understand was why her closest friend had deceived them in such a way.  
  
And then her mind turned to Alex. She was utterly speechless at this news. She knew her heart, and even with this news, she knew she still loved him. But the question was, did he still love her? Were his feelings true, yet somewhat fabricated because he _had_ to make this work? Perhaps they weren’t as deep as hers were. What if they weren’t? What would she do if Alex looked at her and left? He’d have no reason to stay with her now. He wasn’t encumbered to her. Despite the fact that he seemed to love her, she had always waited for the other shoe to drop. This was it.  
  
Before she knew it, tears had come to her eyes and she was crying. The stress of everything since Las Vegas had bottled up, including being halfway across the world from her friends and family for so long, and she couldn’t control her tears. Other emotions welled up, unstoppable as her sobs.  
  
What if he didn’t want her any more?  
  
“Benny...” He called her name. Was that pity in his voice? Had he never been as deeply in love with her as she had with him?  
  
“Hold... on...” she said between sobs. She got up from her chair and went for her box of tissues. Faintly, she heard Joie and Alex arguing on the other end of the video chat.  
  
Benny didn’t know how long it took her, but when she had more composure, she went back to face them.  
  
“Baby, stop crying,” Alex cooed. “It’s just a piece of paper. I love you, and whatever you think is going to happen is not going to happen. As far as I’m concerned, we’re just as good as married.”  
  
“Look, I’m sorry, Benny,” Joie said. “But I did what I had to do. I know it’s been even more difficult since you two have been together, but you needed this. You were looking for a way to run back into your closed off little castle after you and Alex started dating... but I’ve watched you bloom again. You’re the old Benny, but wiser and stronger than ever before. I love you, too, and I only wanted what was best for you. You needed Alex. And if making you think you two were married was what needed to be done, then I don’t regret it.”  
  
Benny remained silent, staring blankly at the screen. This was just too much for one night.  
  
“The reason I found out is because I have to get my residency status taken care of before I adopt Harry,” he said. “Because I _thought_ I married an American citizen, I have to apply for a green card for dual citizenship.”  
  
Benny nodded. “Joie... when were you planning on telling us this was all one big joke?”  
  
“It was never a joke, Benny! Not to me. I would have never told you if I could avoid it, but it never dawned on me that Alex would have to change his visa status because he was married... and I didn’t think he’d ever adopt Harry,” Joie said. “There’s so much I didn’t plan on, and I should have.”  
  
“And if this all ended horribly?” Benny asked. “How did you plan on picking up _those_ pieces?”  
  
“I know you’re angry, and your anger may be justified to an extent... but look at what you and Alex have! Neither of you would have ever recognized it if it hadn’t been forced on you. You’re both fucking stubborn as mules,” Joie pointed out.  
  
Benny sighed. “Alex, I understand... if you... don’t...”  
  
“Don’t you dare start crying again,” he said. Benny heard the emotion in his voice, and saw evidence of mist in his eyes, but knew he wouldn’t cry unless he absolutely had to. “I have no intention of ever leaving you. You’ll have to kill me first.”  
  
Benny dabbed at her eyes.   
  
“It’s just a paper and proves nothing,” he said. “It changes nothing. According to the attorney, all we need to do is go back to Las Vegas. This license is legal for one year.”  
  
“Do you really want to do that?” Benny asked.  
  
“Do you?” he asked.  
  
“Yes, but only if you do.”  
  
“Of course I do,” Alex said.   
  
“We can go get a quick ceremony when I get back, if you want,” she said. “In and out in enough time that the media doesn’t suspect anything.”  
  
Alex nodded. “Sure.”  
  
Benny sighed. “Okay, I have to go and process this right now. You’ve both had time to process... Alex, call me tomorrow morning? I shouldn’t be too busy. We can talk over some things.”  
  
“Alright,” he replied. “Sleep well... and remember I love you.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Benny replied.   
  
“No, I really do. I love you,” he said.  
  
Benny sighed. Despite the feelings in her, she couldn’t help but get that fluttery feeling every time Alex said that to her. “Love you. Joie, I’ll call you when I can talk to you without yelling.”  
  
She clicked off the screen and stared at the computer desktop. It was a picture of her, Harry and Alex at Joie’s wedding. Despite how livid she was at Joie, she did have to thank her. Without her best friend’s folly masquerading as wisdom, she would have never come to realize the feelings in her own heart.  
  
But she knew what she wanted. She just hoped Alex had been telling her the truth about wanting to stay with her.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3  
  
Forty-eight hours later, after breaking to Benny the news of their non-marriage, Alexander found himself on a plane bound for Paris to do a press junket for True Blood, not at all pleased with the sudden turn of events in his life. Just when he thought things were going to start running smoothly, yet another wrench was tossed into the mix.  
  
When he’d gone to Joie, he’s been so confused over the whole mess that it took a while to sink in that he hadn’t actually been married in Las Vegas. However, as Joie explained everything, he became angrier and angrier with her. How could she? What made her think she had the right to mess with other people’s lives like this?  
  
But then his feelings turned just as quickly to sorrow and fear. He’d liked being married when there had been no other option but to remain so. He loved Benny, loved Harry, and truly didn’t want anything to change. Of this much, he was sure.  
  
However, now that there was no “official” link between them, Alexander couldn’t help but wonder if this wasn’t the death knell of their relationship. Would Benny even accept him again? Did she still want him? After what he’d heard about her birthday party in New Zealand, he had to wonder if she _wasn’t_ looking elsewhere.  
  
His insecurities about himself and his own relationship issues in the past came out at this revelation, made all the worse by Benny not being by his side for the past five months. It would have all been easier to discuss this were they face-to-face, instead of computer screen to computer screen. Sure, he could see body language on the computer, but there was just something more personal—and more revealing—when it was done in person. He needed that contact with her to understand her better.  
  
Oh, she may have told him one thing, but had she meant it? He’d had so many lies in his past in relation to other women, he just couldn’t be sure… yet. He had to hold her and look her in the eyes to be certain she had been telling him the truth about still wanting to get married.  
  
Until then, he wasn’t sure about anything else other than his feelings for her. Those had never wavered, which both surprised and elated him. It told him what he felt for her was real, and it wasn’t because of some paperwork. Hopefully that was enough to convince Benny he wasn’t making this all up, like she was wont to do.  
  
Then, before he could blink, he was in Sweden filming for a few days on Puss. At least Gurra was around with the filming, so he could listen to his younger brother’s sage advice. Not that he had much--none of them had been married but him. But Gurra came at the topic of the relationship as an outsider who neither loved or hated Benny, and was going to be as objective about it as anyone could be. Alexander was loathe to even bring the subject up with his father. Heaven knew what would happen then.  
  
“Why are you carrying it around with you?” Gurra asked around a mouthful of food.  
  
“Hmm?” Alexander asked, glancing at his brother.  
  
Gurra swallowed and took a drink of his beer. “It’s in your pocket. You keep unconsciously patting your jeans to make sure it’s still there. Why are you carrying it around with you?”  
  
Alexander tried not to feel sheepish about it, but he couldn’t do it successfully. “Because I don’t want to leave it anywhere I might lose it.”  
  
“You have a better chance of losing it carrying it around with you,” Gurra said. “It’ll be safe at the apartment.”  
  
“Yeah.” Alexander sighed and looked out past his brother onto the people walking through Stockholm on their daily business. Every once and awhile people would catch sight of them and turn their way, but no one stopped to bother them. This was why he liked Sweden. Usually they were pretty respectful of their celebrities.  
  
Gurra shook his head. “Quit worrying about it. There’s no sense in worrying over something that is out of your control. You can’t make Benny’s mind up for her.”  
  
“I guess you’re right,” Alexander said. “I just don’t want to lose her.”  
  
Gurra smiled and wiped his mouth with the paper napkin. “I personally don’t think you’re in danger of that.”  
  
“You honestly don’t think she’ll run?” Alexander asked.  
  
“I don’t know a lot about her, Alex. But you know how you get feelings about people?” Gurra said. “Well, after watching her with you, and seeing how she acted with you, I know that she is in love with you. My worry, actually, is that you won’t show her enough how you care for her and that will end up pushing her away.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Gurra laughed. “We both know you’re not the most affectionate guy in the world.”  
  
Alexander frowned. “That’s not true.”  
  
“And you’re a Scandinavian man. That, by default, means you’re emotionally stunted,” Gurra replied. “American women need a lot of reassurance and chivalry and whatnot.”  
  
Alexander sighed. “I’m getting better… and I try to tell her every time I talk to her that I love her. Isn’t that enough?”  
  
Gurra nodded. “Just make sure she understands implicitly that you’re in love with her and your love had nothing to do with being married. It had everything to do with her.”  
  
Alexander sipped his beer, considering what his brother had said. Years ago, he wouldn’t have cared about anything his younger brother had to say, but it was nice now that they were both men they could sit down and talk about this together. At least with Gurra, he could. He wasn’t sure about his other brothers.  
  
Even Eija would just roll her eyes at him, especially since she didn’t particularly like Benny.  
  
Alexander looked at the time on his phone. “Are you ready to get going? I need to head back home and give Benny a call.”  
  
“Have you told her you’re meeting her in London?”  
  
“Nope, that’s all part of the surprise,” Alexander said, reaching for his wallet in his pocket.  
  
Gurra threw back what was left of his beer and wiped his mouth with his napkin one last time. “Let’s go. I’m sick of listening to your angst.”  
  
Alexander shook his head and laughed. “Yeah, I love you too, little brother.”  
  
“I know,” Gurra laughed, dropping his money on the table with Alex’s. “Let’s go.”  
  
Alexander followed his brother out of the restaurant and down the street, a little more at ease than when he sat down for dinner with his brother. Maybe all this would work out after all.  
  
\----  
  
Benny taped the last box from her apartment closed, writing the address information on the top of it. It was truly amazing to her just how much “stuff” a person could accumulate in five months. Of course, she had the occasional souvenir she had picked up on sightseeing trips, but the majority of it consisted of clothing she had made for everyone in her life on those lonely nights she spent in the apartment. She had enough to fill two large wardrobe boxes that would likely cost an arm and a leg—possibly even a kidney—to send across the Pacific home, but it had entertained her enough when she needed to take her mind off her loneliness.  
  
Lying back on the floor of the tiny apartment, Benny closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths. Getting home to California couldn’t come soon enough, but she was excited to be taking the long way around the globe to spend a few days in London for her birthday gift to herself. She’d only ever been to London on layover before, on her way to France and Italy when she’d been in college, and she was excited to see some of the sites, even if it meant it would be a few days longer before she would get to see Alex. But while he was in Sweden filming, she figured he wouldn’t care much if she entertained herself in London to then meet him in New York on the trip back.  
  
Of course, he also had sounded odd when he was trying to convince her to wait a few days and fly back with him. He’d been pretty insistent on her not going home by herself. Which worried her. She really hoped he hadn’t burned the house down while she’d been gone. Or worse yet, wanted to be there to defend himself for some other insidious happening. At this point, Benny just didn’t know what to think any more, what with Joie lying, finding out she wasn’t married, and everything else that had happened. It was just a little much for her to take.  
  
Benny yawned and reached out for her phone, feeling around on the carpet for where she had set it down beside her. The time on the screen told her she should have already been in bed, but she couldn’t make herself go. Her anxiety level had risen too much since her chat with Alex and Joie, not knowing what was going to happen next.  
  
She absently scrolled through her emails, finding nothing interesting there. Just as she was about to concede defeat and go to bed, her phone lit up and vibrated in her hand. Alex’s face popped up on her screen.  
  
“Hey,” she said, placing the phone to her ear.  
  
“Hi,” he said. “Did I wake you?”  
  
“No, why?” she asked.  
  
“You sound tired and groggy,” he replied.  
  
“I’m awake. I just finished packing everything up and laid down, thinking through everything to make sure I was ready to head home. I closed my eyes, though.”  
  
“Are you ready to come home?”  
  
Benny chuckled. “I was ready a week after I got here. You know that.”  
  
She could almost hear his grin on the other side of the conversation.  
  
“I’m glad you are,” he said.  
  
“You know, I should ask you the same thing,” Benny said. “Are you ready to let me come home?”  
  
Alex laughed. She missed seeing his smile most of all. Despite having the use of Skype, it was different in person. Electric.  
  
“Benny, I was ready for you to come home the minute after the car picked you up for the airport,” he replied. “And I’m not just saying that.”  
  
She sighed and closed her eyes again. “I’m worried, Alex.”  
  
“About what?”  
  
“Everything,” she replied. “What if we get back together in LA and we find that these five months have hurt us more than anything? What if, after this cooling off period, you’ll realize that I’m really not worth it? That Harry’s not worth it?”  
  
“Benny, I know this is going to work. Stop being so doubtful. Honestly, I almost feel like you want this to fail.”  
  
Benny groaned. “Alex, that’s the last thing I want. I just know how the world works. I’ve been hurt too much and too deeply in the past to be as optimistic as you.”  
  
“You’re not the only one who’s been hurt in the past, Benny,” he said.   
  
“I know,” she said. “I’m just worried. That’s what I do. I worry.”  
  
He sighed. “Well, stop worrying. I know this is going to work, and we’re going to get married when we get home and continue doing what we were doing. Because I love you and Harrison.”  
  
Hearing him say such things in such an earnest way told her more than anything else. And it made her infinitely happy to know that he truly loved her despite the marriage and thinking they had to try to make it work.  
  
She hadn’t noticed she’d been so silent until Alex said anything else.  
  
“You’re falling asleep,” he said. “I’ll let you go. You should get all the sleep you can now.”  
  
“Hmm… why is that?” Benny asked.  
  
“Because I don’t plan on letting you get much sleeping in for the first few nights you’re home,” he said.  
  
An uncontrollable moan intermixed with her giggle at his words, as her brain immediately went to visions of what they would be doing together. Personally, she couldn’t wait. Their very infrequent moments talking on Skype had only gotten dirty once or twice, and their phone conversations only a few more times on top of that. Though phone sex happened to be tantalizing in its own way, it wasn’t the same as sex.  
  
“What about Harry?” Benny asked.  
  
“Joie and Josh are babysitting him,” he said. “She’s making up for what she did.”  
  
“It’s the least she could do,” Benny said, yawning. “Okay, I gotta get going. The movers are supposed to be here early in the morning before I leave for the airport.”  
  
“You’re still meeting me in New York, right?” he asked.  
  
Benny nodded, though she realized he couldn’t see that. “Of course. I will be there with bells on.”  
  
“I still don’t know why you couldn’t just fly up to Stockholm to see me for these next few days,” he said.  
  
“I already told you, I don’t want to sit around while you’re working,” Benny said. “It’s not fun for me.”  
  
Alex gave her an annoyed sigh. “Yeah, I guess.”  
  
Benny scoffed. “Oh, stop pouting. You just said you have a block of uninterrupted time with me when we get back to LA. I promise to make the most of it.”  
  
“You promise?” he asked.  
  
“Baby, I’m a sure thing,” she laughed.  
  
“Good to hear,” he replied. “Have fun in London.”  
  
Benny smiled. “I will. Don’t work too hard.”  
  
“I won’t.”  
  
“Okay,” she said.  
  
“Goodnight, Benny. I love you,” he said.  
  
She couldn’t help her heart taking a giant back flip whenever he said those words to her, and the meaning in his tone. “I love you, too.”  
  
“Get some sleep.”  
  
“Okay,” she replied. “Night.”  
  
With that, she hung up the phone and stared up at the ceiling. By god, she couldn’t not love the man, and really, it was just easier to forget everything in the past and live in a happy place than to keep stressing over it. JC would be out of her life for good when Alex officially adopted Harrison, and Alex had never done anything in the span of their knowing each other to ever indicate he would turn out like JC.  
  
Though she had never considered herself particularly religious, she couldn’t help but think what her grandparents always used to say: Just give it up to God. Perhaps they wouldn’t make it to being old and gray with grandbabies and all that, but she knew she wanted to ride this ride with him for as long as they could manage it. Her heart told her as much. Her heart knew, even though her mind did not, that Alex made her a better person. A happier person. And she wanted that for as long as possible.  
  
She was just now celebrating her thirtieth birthday. She figured she deserved some happiness in her life. Especially when that happiness made her whole.  
  
With another yawn, Benny pulled herself up from the floor and moved back toward the bedroom, now monumentally excited to be going home.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4  
  
Benny stepped out of the car that had met her at the airport, looking up at the big, posh hotel in the midst of the busy London Streets. It was chilly, but no more so than it normally was, according to the driver of the car. Benny hadn’t even considered that due to her schedule, she would be in one long fall/winter season this year. Honestly, she couldn’t wait to get back to Los Angeles and sit outside and soak up the vitamin D from the sunny weather.  
  
However, first, she would enjoy her trip to London, partake in her fair share of pub crawling and visit all the historical landmarks she could in three days.  
  
“Miss?”  
  
She turned toward the voice, to see the bellhop there in a red jacket and black top hat, her bags on a cart. He offered her a ticket and then disappeared into the hotel to await her room assignment to deliver them. Benny tipped the driver and headed into the lobby, following the black and white tiled floor toward the front desk.  
  
It wasn’t often she spent nights in nice hotels. Whenever she went on the road with her parents to renaissance faires, they stayed in a livable, but by no means new, fifth wheel trailer. When she was on her own, she stayed in budget hotels and hostels, especially if it involved traveling in other countries. For a student—at the time—on a shoestring budget, it was what she could afford.  
  
And since Harry had been born, she hadn’t traveled at all.  
  
But she certainly hadn’t had the occasion to stay in a five-star hotel before, all by herself without a travel companion picking up the other half of the bill. Since she had wrangled such a lucrative deal out of the Spartacus team, she figured she could splurge a little. It was only for three days, after all.  
  
“Welcome to the Mandarin Oriental,” said the desk clerk in a stuffy British accent.  
  
Benny smiled at the handsome man as she stepped up to the counter. “Checking in… Bernadette Cowan.”  
  
“Certainly,” he said, typing into the computer.  
  
Benny fished her credit card and passport out of her purse, ready to hand them over to the man.  
  
He looked up at her and smiled, then glanced back at the computer screen again. “Ah, yes. We have you in a suite for three nights, Miss Cowan.”  
  
“I’m not supposed to be in a suite. I booked a regular room,” she said.  
  
“Certainly, Miss Cowan. You have been upgraded to the suite,” he replied, “at the courtesy of Mr. Skarsgard.”  
  
Benny opened her mouth to reply, but stopped herself, letting the news soak in for a moment. But then her heart flipped a little. Could he... was he... “Is he here?”  
  
“No, madam, I’m sorry. He’s not here,” the man replied, activating a plastic key for her. He held it out to her. “Take the lift, and the room is on the eighth level. You are in the Gloucester Suite to the right.”  
  
Benny nodded, looking at the key again. “Wow... okay. Thanks.”  
  
“Your luggage will be up shortly, Miss Cowan, as will our butler to make certain you are comfortable,” he replied.  
  
She let out an amused snort and shook her head as she put her passport and credit card away. “I seriously doubt I will be uncomfortable, but thank you.”  
  
Benny walked toward the elevators and entered the car up to the eighth floor. It was moments and surprises like this that made her love Alex even more. She’d never thought him to be that romantic, but he continued to prove her wrong.  
  
She found her room and let herself in, first looking around the large living room area. Everything looked expensive and finely furnished. She headed back into the bedroom where the four-poster bed lay well made with military precision, a beautiful bouquet of lilies lay on top, a small card standing up beside it.  
  
Benny sat on the large bed and reached for the card, opening it up. Inside was Alex’s untidy scrawl. How had he managed that if he wasn’t here?  
  
 _B-  
  
I truly wish I could be there with you, and will be thinking about you until we see each other in New York. In the mean time, charge everything to the room, and don’t worry about it. Seriously... stop worrying for a minute. Or ten. Or three days._  
  
Benny giggled, feeling emotion swell within her. God, he was perfect.  
  
 _I love you and I will see you later. Enjoy these next few days.  
  
A_  
  
Benny sighed to herself and laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was like her own little fairytale in her own little fairy world. Only, in her fairy world, there was a big bad wolf that could come along and seriously fuck everything up to such a point that nothing good could come of it.  
  
But then, there she went worrying again. Benny closed her eyes and centered herself. She was going to do what Alex instructed. There would be plenty of time for worrying when she got home. It could wait until then.  
  
There was a knock at the front door. Benny jumped up and walked to it, opening the door to find a man in a pristine, tailored suit accompanied by two men in red coats. One had her luggage. The other had a cart with a champagne bottle in an ice bucket accompanied by a plate of chocolates.  
  
“Yes?” Benny asked.  
  
“Miss Cowan, I’m Alastair Burke, the butler for your suite,” he introduced himself, offering his hand.  
  
Benny took it. “Pleasure to meet you. Please, come in.”  
  
He grinned, motioning to his nameless workers to follow him. The two uniformed men made quick work of setting up her luggage rack and placing the champagne and chocolates in an inconspicuous location. After the former had popped the cork and handed her a flute of the bubbly liquid, he excused himself with the other man, leaving her alone with Alastair.  
  
“If you have any requests at all during your stay, Miss Cowan, please call my cell phone,” he replied, producing a card and handing it to her. “If there is anything you would like to see or do, please call us and I will have everything scheduled for you.”  
  
Benny just didn’t know what to say. Honestly, all she could think about was that Alex had to be paying through the nose for this.  
  
“Thanks,” she said. “Did... my hus-- did Mr. Skarsgard plan for all of this?”  
  
Alastair smiled. “He did plan it for you. We have been in close contact with him for a few weeks now to arrange this.”  
  
Benny laughed and blushed, sipping her champagne. “He’s so going to pay for this.”  
  
The look on Alastair’s face told her that indeed Alex would, but not in the way she had meant. “Well, I shall leave you now, Miss Cowan. Please call me if you need anything.”  
  
Benny watched the finely attired man leave the suite and shut the door behind him. Finally left alone in silence, Benny looked around the room again. Good god, she was a lucky woman.  
  
When her cell phone started ringing with Alex’s ringtone, she ran back to the bedroom and flopped down on the bed, putting the phone to her ear.  
  
“Why do you treat me so well?” she said by way of greeting.  
  
There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment as though he didn’t quite know what to say to that, but he recovered quickly. “Because I love you? I thought this is what all guys did when they’re besotted with their wife.”  
  
“Yeah, but not you,” she said. “You’re not here are you, planning to jump out of the wardrobe or anything?”  
  
“No,” Alex said. “I’m still in Sweden. Say ‘hi’ Gurra!”  
  
“Heja!” Gurra called.  
  
Benny frowned. Damn.  
  
“So everything is taken care of? They put you in the suite and brought the champagne and everything?” he asked.  
  
“Yes, it’s perfect. Thank you, Alex,” she said. “When did you do the card?”  
  
“I stopped in London on my way to Paris for the press stuff,” he said. “So I did it then and picked out the room and everything.”  
  
Benny sighed. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you, too,” he replied.  
  
“ALEX!”  
  
She heard the yell from the other side of the phone and then loud talking in Swedish.  
  
“I have to go,” he said. “I’ll call you later when I’m off set.”  
  
“Okay,” she replied. “I’ll talk to you later. I love you!”  
  
“Bye,” he said and hung up the phone quickly.  
  
Benny sighed heavily and pursed her lips, looking around the bedroom. Now she just had to figure out what to do first all alone in this big city.  
  
\---  
  
Alexander smiled brightly at a few women he passed as he walked into the hotel that evening, surely giving them the wrong idea. He knew he was practically sprinting toward the desk for his key so he could get up to the room to surprise Benny, but he told himself to act as calmly as possible. He had to be suave about this.  
  
Too bad he felt like a kid on Christmas morning, completely beside himself in excitement to unwrap his presents. And he planned to do that.  
  
A lot.  
  
However, because he slowed down and made a concerted effort to act like an adult, his excitement and anxious energy showed in his face, resulting in giant smiles at people and uncontrollable chuckles when he thought about what was waiting for him upstairs somewhere in this giant hotel. Surely they must have thought him insane.  
  
The hotel staff knew him on sight, whether they recognized him from acting or because he had come to the hotel briefly on his layover to Paris a few weeks ago, he didn’t know, but he didn’t care. While there were major drawbacks to being a recognized figure, there were certainly just as many benefits. They had his key ready for him as he walked to the desk, and the clerk directed him where to go.  
  
Alex nodded his head and didn’t even stop long enough for a bellhop to bring up his luggage. He was perfectly fine bringing it up himself. Besides, he didn’t want any interruptions from any human being for at least twenty-four hours.  
  
In minutes he was in front of the suite door, lifting his hand to knock. He would have just entered, but that would have freaked Benny out.  
  
“Who is it?” she called. He was thankful she was still in the room.  
  
“I’ll give you two guesses, but you’ll only need one,” he replied through the door.  
  
The sound of a high-pitched squeal found his ears, and he laughed. He never expected Benny to ever utter such a sound, but it made his heart beat a bit faster. God, they were so close…  
  
She wrenched the door back, taking one look from feet to face to make sure it was him, as though she were in disbelief he actually stood there. Alex waited for something to happen, but it was all very anticlimactic. He dropped his shoulders, disappointed he hadn’t received more of a reaction.  
  
But that’s when she pounced.  
  
Literally.  
  
All five-foot-five of her leaped off the floor and onto him. At least his reflexes were honed well enough that he thought to drop his bags and wrap his arms around her, bracing both their weights on his legs as her lips grabbed his Benny.  
  
God, nothing had tasted better in the past five months. How had he let this separation happen? Why had he let her go? He knew then he should have fought harder with her to make her stay with him in the States.  
  
Then he felt her shaking in his arms and it took everything he had to open his eyes and move his head away. A tear slipped down her cheek when she opened her eyes.  
  
“What is it, baby?” he asked softly, holding her closer.  
  
“I’m so happy you’re here,” she said. “I just… I don’t know. It’s all welled up. I just can’t explain how it feels to have you hold me again.”  
  
He grinned, feeling his own emotion welling. He hadn’t realized he’d be so affected by their reunion, either. “Benny, I think I know how it feels.”  
  
Benny let out a watery laugh and leaned in to kiss him again. This kiss, however, was not a celebratory one. This one was hungry, and in an instant, he felt all of his nerve endings spring into action with other parts of his body.  
  
He needed her.  
  
Now.  
  
He dropped his hands down her back from where they were holding her to cup her denim-covered behind… the rather firm denim-covered behind. When had that happened?  
  
A clearing throat interrupted them, bring him down to reality. And Benny, too. She pulled back and looked over his shoulder.  
  
“Sorry,” she said, removing her legs from his waist. He dropped her down and turned to see a man in a suit.  
  
“It’s our butler… Alistair,” she said.  
  
The man smiled and shook his hand. “I won’t keep you. Mr. Skarsgard, would you still like dinner to be delivered in an hour as you had planned on your last visit here?”  
  
“That should be fine,” Alex replied, knowing he’d gotten woefully out of practice since Benny had been gone. He needed release, and fast. They’d be able to have dinner in an hour.  
  
“Very well,” Alistair said, disappearing again.  
  
Benny left his side with a giggle and bent down to pick up one of his bags. He followed her in, grabbing the last of his stuff, but before the door had closed, she dropped his bag and turned back around to him, taking the bag in his hand from him and pushing it away, forgotten.  
  
He was there to meet her, pinning her back against the now-shut door, kissing her. Her hands strayed to his hips, pulling him to her. He grinned into her mouth, reaching down and lifting her up like before, her legs wrapping around him.  
  
She giggled when he tried to pull her shirt off but failed. Benny broke the kiss for only a moment when she ripped her shirt over head. She looked amazing. She’d said that she’d been working out in New Zealand because everyone on set was doing, and he hadn’t realized how much she’d done it until now.  
  
Her soft, velvet skin felt luxurious under his hands, as he slipped them down to her hips and back around to cup her still wonderful ass.  
  
It’d been too long. As cliché as it was, it was like drinking from a well in the Sahara.  
  
Benny’s nimble fingers reached for his neck and began undoing buttons, but she fumbled. “God damn it.”  
  
She moved her hands lower, grabbed both sides of his button down and ripped them part, sending buttons flying. Benny hummed lowly, her hands running down his chest and slipping between the waist of his pants to cup him.  
  
“Don’t worry, baby. I can sew ‘em back on later,” she said, meeting his eyes.  
  
He never would have thought something like that would sound so sexy. But it did, coming from her luscious lips.  
  
“I love you,” he said, capturing her lips again.  
  
“Bed,” she moaned against his lips.  
  
He moved from the door, intending to carry her with him, but she dropped her legs again and pushed back from him. She grinned wickedly and grabbed his hand, pulling him in the direction of the bedroom for a minute before letting go again.  
  
Alexander watched her go, reaching behind her and up to undo the clasps on her bra. He paused too long because she turned to look at him, question in her eyes, holding the flimsy lace of her bra in place before letting it drop.  
  
“I’ve missed you so much,” he said, striding to meet her in the bedroom.  
  
Before he knew it, he had maneuvered her back onto the bed and was stripping off what remained of her clothing. She pulled herself back onto the bed, as he followed her path, kissing her. He had to pause again and look at her. He didn’t think it was possible, but she’d gotten more beautiful than the last time he’d seen her.  
  
Of course, it might have helped that she laid propped up on the bed completely nude and waiting for _him_ that did it, but he didn’t really care.  
  
He leaned down to kiss her as she lay back on the bed. Her hands traveled up his torso, grabbing at his muscles and up his neck to nestle in his short hair. He slipped his hands between them, letting his fingers slip between her legs.  
  
Benny’s breath caught in her throat and she exhaled finally, moaning his name and moving her hips with his ministrations.  
  
And then she said the words that made him even harder, if that was possible. “Just fuck me, Alex. I need you in me. Save that for later.”  
  
Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. He’d had fantasies like this before, but he never thought he’d be this hot. Ever.  
  
Alex wriggled out of his jeans just enough to free himself, resting in the seat of her pelvis, supporting himself. He glanced down at her, watching her bright blue eyes as he slipped into her. She arched back into the bed, a low moan escaping her lips.  
  
He wasn’t going to last long, and he knew it. She knew it. And he was grateful for her sacrifice to allow him this release. But he refused to go without her.  
  
Flipping them around, Benny straddled his waist, beginning an even rhythm; he reached between them, rubbing his thumb against her center. She shuddered, speeding up with his movements.  
  
Benny bent over him, kissing his lips. He removed his hands, gliding up her back and grabbing her long hair in his hands, pulling slightly on the silky strands. She ground into him, eliciting another moan from her lips that he silenced with his.  
  
Unable to stand it anymore, he rolled her back onto the bed, driving into her, searching for his release. It coiled tightly in the pit of his belly, waiting to spring. He just needed… to get… Benny… there.  
  
Her orgasm burst then; she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, but opened her eyes an instant later, catching his gaze as she rode out her intense orgasm. Unable to control himself any longer, he came for quite a while.  
  
He hadn’t realized how pent up he’d been until at last his own earth-shaking orgasm ceased and he fell back onto the bed out of breath, completely spent, and deliriously happy.  
  
A long, lazy chuckle came from the woman beside him as she rolled over and propped herself up to look down at him. “Good lord, I forgot how good that was.”  
  
He grinned.  
  
Benny rested her head on his shoulder, and he moved his fingers through her hair. And then a thought occurred to him.  
  
“Oh yeah,” he said.  
  
“What?” she asked.  
  
“Surprise?” he offered.  
  
Benny laughed again, pulling herself up to lean down over him and kiss him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 5  
  
Benny woke late the next morning completely exhausted. Since Alex’s arrival, they had not come up for air much in the past—she looked at the clock—sixteen or so hours, and every instant of it had been glorious. Of course, as she stretched out under the covers, she realized there were muscles in her body she had never been aware of prior to this morning because they were screaming from overuse. Blessed, wonderful overuse, but painful nonetheless.  
  
She turned around looking for Alex to make sure it hadn’t all been some dream she had conjured. Indeed, he slept beside her still, though she wasn’t too sure how deeply. If there was one thing she had learned in the limited amount of time she’d spent sharing his bed, it was that he was a very light sleeper. Whenever she moved, he woke up if only partially.  
  
Benny sighed contentedly, looking him over. He was just as beautiful as before, and she could no longer deny the deep connection she had with the man that now slept beside her. She never imagined she would feel this way about a man, or even a woman for that matter, but it made her excited and happy. It made her complete.  
  
The very fact that he was here, probably having completely rearranged his busy schedule to do something special like this for her, told her enough. He was willing to walk through fire for her if he had to. Right at the moment, she was pretty sure she would do the same for him. Of course, it was all so new to them and it would go through growing pains, but she loved the man like crazy and nothing would change that.  
  
Alex stirred, his long arms reaching out for her. She moved into his embrace, enjoying the feel of his warm skin against hers. Of course, she felt his morning erection as well.  
  
“Aren’t you exhausted?” she asked with a giggle.  
  
“Not in the least,” he replied groggily. “I have five months to make up for. Five months for a Swede is like an eternity.”  
  
Benny laughed, kissing his lips lightly. “I know… but it’s late morning, I’m starving, and I do want to see some of London while I’m here.”  
  
“It’s not morning. That’s really the moon outside,” he said, rolling her onto her back and pinning her to the bed.  
  
“Alex, go pee. You still got your hard on, we’ll talk,” she instructed.  
  
“Hrm,” he muttered, kissing her neck playfully.  
  
She laughed when he tickled her sides. “There’s one of those state of the art showers we haven’t used yet.”  
  
“You have my attention,” he replied, his lips trailing down her collar bone, to her sternum and over to her right breast. He rubbed his bristly cheek slightly against the nipple before taking the hardened bud into his mouth, running his tongue over it and letting his teeth graze lightly.  
  
She moaned, her hands automatically going to the back of his head and sinking into his shorter hair. “Shower, Alex. I want to go out.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered against her skin, working his way back up to her lips. He held himself over her, looking down at her and meeting her eyes.  
  
Benny reached up and touched his cheek. “I’m glad you’re here, Alex.”  
  
“I’m glad I’m here, too,” he said. “I’ve missed you.”  
  
She grinned. “Let’s go take that shower.”  
  
“As my lady commands,” he laughed and rolled off the bed onto his long legs. He pulled her from under the covers and took her to the bathroom.  
  
Benny stopped at the doorway, leaning on the jamb as he leaned in to turn on the shower heads and test the water. She had searched high and low for this man her whole life, and she still found it funny that he had been right under her nose—literally—and that she had almost let him get away.  
  
“Are you coming in or not?” he asked as he stepped into the glass-walled shower.  
  
She smiled and walked to him, utterly happy.  
  
\---  
  
Alexander fingered the engagement ring in his coat pocket as Benny finished off the bread pudding they had ordered. The pub they stopped in for lunch bustled around them, unabated since they had come in an hour ago. But he didn’t really care about the other people around, or if a few recognized him. If they did, he didn’t notice because he found himself captivated by the woman in front of him.  
  
He took his hand out of pocket, folding his hands in his lap as he leaned back in his chair. He hadn’t a plan in the world about when he intended to ask her or exactly what he would say. What should he say when this technically had already been done? When he—presumably—knew what her answer would be when he asked? Perhaps that was why he couldn’t plan anything. He would just have to fly by the seat of his pants when it felt right.  
  
Benny put down her spoon and shoved the bowl away, sitting back in her seat. “Thanks for making the sacrifice.”  
  
He laughed and leaned in, resting his arms on the table. “Any time.”  
  
“And thanks for coming out with me today,” she said.  
  
“Well, I didn’t want to stay in the hotel room alone,” he said.  
  
Benny smiled. “Of course not, but I could have been easily persuaded to stay in if you had asked.”  
  
Alex rolled his eyes. If he had known that, he would have tried harder. As much as he liked just spending time with her, there were countless other things he hadn’t gotten a chance to do overnight that required some privacy.  
  
“I did ask.”  
  
“Not after that wonderful shower,” she teased.  
  
“Do you want to go back?” he questioned. “I’m all for it.”  
  
She shook her head. “Nope. I went to all the trouble of getting dressed. I actually do want to go somewhere.”  
  
“Fine,” he said with a huff. “Where?”  
  
“The V&A,” she said. “They’ve got a wonderful collection of textiles and clothing I want to look at for costumes this season.”  
  
He nodded. “Anywhere else?”  
  
Benny pursed her lips in thought. “Yeah, a million other places, but I don’t care where so long as you come with me.”  
  
It made him thankful that True Blood had only started airing the first season here in London and there wasn’t a huge paparazzi crush for him yet. Some people knew him, but not many. And if they might have recognized him with his short hair, they squinted at him and tried to place him. Eventually they gave up. He could still walk around in public with his wife and not have to worry about it.  
  
“Honestly, going out to a nice dinner together would be spectacular,” she said. “Followed by a walk in Hyde Park.”  
  
“I think I can manage that,” he laughed.  
  
“Good,” she said, reaching for her purse that she’d set on the chair beside them while they ate. “Are you ready to go? We can walk there... it’s only about another half mile away.”  
  
He nodded. “Yes, let’s get going.”  
  
Alexander stood and followed her out of the pub. When they were out on the street, she stopped short, and looked back at him like she forgot something. He frowned. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing,” she said, taking a hold of his hand closest to her and entwining her fingers with his.   
  
He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips or the happy warmth that spread through his body. It was a warmth that made feel stronger and invulnerable to the world around him. The sky could come crashing down. He wouldn’t have cared. This was how it was meant to be. Alex lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of hers lightly. By the look in her eyes, he could tell she felt the same thing he did.   
  
With a new spring in his step, he led her down the street.  
  
\---  
  
Benny sighed blissfully, leaning into Alex as they strolled absently through Hyde Park, enjoying the sting of the cold night on her cheeks in comparison to the warmth of walking close to Alex with her arm around his waist and under his jacket. Despite the bitter temperatures, she wouldn’t have been anywhere else or with anyone else. This was exactly where she was meant to be.  
  
And once she had realized that, it made her life so much simpler.  
  
“Are you cold yet?” she asked, looking up at her tall husband-boyfriend-whatever.  
  
“I’m actually pretty warm,” he said, leaning down and kissing her forehead. “This is a balmy evening in Sweden this time a year.”  
  
Benny giggled and snuggled closer. She was getting colder by the minute, even with Alex’s radiator-like body heat, her own heavy winter coat and scarf, but she refused to give in until he did. Especially since it meant she got to spend so much time with him in public.  
  
She knew that as soon as they set foot back on solid ground in the States, the public acknowledgement of their relationship would have to be kept silent. It was written in their contracts, and they had both discussed the issue at length. Neither of them wanted to involve Harry with that madness for awhile. They wouldn’t be able to shield him forever, but they would try for a little while.  
  
It worked out that Alex was planning to spend more time with Kate at the behest of their movie’s publicist. Benny didn’t like the deal much, but she knew it had to be done. If the movie wasn’t released, Alex’s share of the profits from his contract weren’t made. Granted, she knew he could make do without them, but she knew more than anyone did what it was like to create something and then to never have it see the light of day. Getting that feedback, whether from critics or in the form of money from people seeing something, was a needed part of the creation process.  
  
Benny knew she would feel better after meeting Kate. Alex had so many good things to say about her—contrary to what she had ever heard about Kate—that she hoped it was true. She trusted Alex’s judgment, and if he liked Kate, she imagined she could like Kate too.  
  
But she wouldn’t get _too_ friendly.  
  
“If you’re cold, we can go in,” he said, his breath fogging in the crisp air.  
  
“Nah, just a little bit longer,” she replied. “I don’t want this all to end.”  
  
This had been the most incredible day ever. Spending it with Alex, with not one interrupting them, had been heaven. It was one thing to spend a week in Sweden with his family all around, or to have to account for Harry if they were at home, so to be completely alone with no worry in the world other than each other had been wonderful. Especially since this was truly the first time since they had met a year ago November, on the first day of costume fittings for the new season that they had been completely alone with no care.  
  
Benny felt a cold plop on her nose, and frowned, wiping at it. As she looked up, she could see the wisps of snow falling by the lamp on their path. She should have known it was getting ready to snow. There had been an eerie silence as they walked.  
  
Now she knew why.  
  
“I love snow,” she said.  
  
“I hate snow,” he replied. “I’ve shoveled a lot of it in my time.”  
  
Benny laughed and parted from his hold, stepping away from him and holding her arms out as the snow fall grew heavier. “You forget, I’ve lived in SoCal my whole life. I find the snow so magical. Especially the silence of it, not at all like the patter of rain.”  
  
She spun around and laughed happily, sticking her tongue out to catch a few flakes. She stopped when he heard his low laugh.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You,” he replied. “I don’t remember you ever being this free with yourself. I like it.”  
  
Benny giggled. “You bring it out in me.”  
  
He started over to her and she leaned back, letting the icy precipitation fall on her face, closing her eyes. She felt him close, his body warmth adding to hers and she opened her eyes. Very suavely, he grabbed her into his arms and kissed her senseless.   
“You’re right, the snow is magical,” he said.  
  
“Why do you say that?”  
  
“I don’t ever want this to end,” he replied. “I don’t want to leave your side… ever.”  
  
Benny snuggled into his warmth. “I know the feeling.”  
  
They held onto each other and swayed slightly, enjoying the silence and being in each other’s company.  
  
His lips brushed her ear and he said something so lowly she barely heard it.  
  
“Marry me.”  
  
“I already said I would go with you to Las Vegas when we got back,” she replied. Despite trying to deflect her emotion, it was useless.  
  
Alex moved his head back to look down at her. “No, we’re not doing that again, and especially not like some dirty little secret. We’re doing this right. Big white wedding, all our friends and family. Even the friggin’ media if we have to.”  
  
Benny opened her mouth to reply, but it froze in her throat as he stepped back and lowered to one knee.  
  
“Oh my god,” she uttered as he reached into the breast pocket inside his coat. The waterworks already started. “You’re not…”  
  
From the pocket, he took out a small band and held it out to her. “Benny, I know this is a crazy ride, but I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side through it other than you. You and Harrison.”  
  
The tears burned her eyes and trickled over; she covered her mouth with her hands.  
  
“I know that I’m not a particularly easy man to love either personality or life-wise, but I would spend my life trying to prove myself to be worthy for you.”  
  
She smiled.  
  
“Will you marry me… officially?”  
  
She spluttered a laugh through her tears, nodding her head. “Y-yeah… I mean, yes!”  
  
He stood up and took her left hand, pulling off her glove and slipping the ring on her finger. She didn’t even look at it as she threw her arms around his neck. His lips found hers as he lifted her up and squeezed her to him.  
  
Finally, when they were both out of breath, they parted. Benny wiped at her tears, looking at her ring. It was a modest cushion cut diamond set in platinum. The setting was antique and beautiful.  
  
“Is it okay?” he asked.  
  
“It’s perfect,” she said. She looked back up at him. “I can’t believe you did this!”  
  
He laughed. “You really had no idea?”  
  
“No! I thought the issue had been settled about going to Las Vegas.”  
  
Alex shook his head. “I’m never letting that happen again. I want to remember this experience. I want to be able to tell our grandchildren someday how we got married. I don’t want it to be because we got drunk.”  
  
“But we’ll tell them that one, too,” she laughed, kissing him again.  
  
“Most likely,” he smiled. “When we were sitting at Joie’s wedding, and she went up to have her dance with your dad, I could tell you were unhappy. I wanted to change it then, and this happened to give me the opportunity.”  
  
She started to protest, but stopped. She could say it hadn’t bothered her all she wanted, but it was a lie and she knew it.  
  
“You want that dance with your father,” he said. “And as sick as it sounds, I want to dress up in a penguin suit and watch you come down the aisle. But most importantly, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”  
  
Benny pulled his head down to kiss him again. “I love you more than I can possibly describe. Thank you, Alex.”  
  
“No, thank you for accepting,” he said.  
  
“We’ve got to go back to the hotel. I have to call my parents,” she said.  
  
Alex nodded. “I’m surprised they haven’t called you yet. They knew about all of this.”  
  
“Everything? Your surprise showing up and the proposal?” she asked.  
  
“Yes,” he said. “I even asked your father permission this time.”  
  
Benny laughed, but she was touched by the sentiment. “How old fashioned of you.”  
  
“It seemed right with your dad in question,” he said.  
  
“I’m sure he appreciated it,” Benny said. “He may put on a cool, clueless exterior, but he likes being the dad still. Speaking of which… what about your family?”  
  
“Everyone is for this, and my dad is still being obstinate,” he said. “But they’re excited. My mom is most excited. She wants a wedding so bad, and there’s a while to go before she helps Eija plan hers.”  
  
“I thought you were never letting Eija get married?” Benny asked.  
  
Alex nodded profoundly. “Exactly my point. If we brothers have anything to say, she’s not going to get married. Ever.”  
  
Benny smiled. “Sometimes I wish Jack were more like that with me.”  
  
“Trust me, he is,” Alex said. “He may seem like a teen and all self-absorbed, but he cares for you a lot. He just doesn’t want you to know he cares.”  
  
“Is that it?” Benny asked with a laugh, a shiver going through her body, reminding her that they were still outside. She was nearly soaked through from the wet snow, and would probably get a cold from it.  
  
He wrapped his arms around her. “Let’s head back. We’ve got some calls to make.”  
  
“Good plan,” she said, walking with him and feeling as though she were dancing on a cloud.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6  
  
Alexander squeezed Benny more tightly in his arms, kissing her deeply. He was doing everything he could think of to distract her from how long the car ride had been from the airport, and that they weren’t taking the correct route to the house she had expected them to go to when they arrived back.  
  
Instead, he was taking her home. _Home_ home. As in, the one he’d bought for them… for his new family. It had been an impulse buy at its purest, but how could he pass up such a deal. The bank foreclosed on it, and had marked the price way down because of all the work that needed to be done to it. Hopefully far enough down that he’d only be paying on the mortgage for the next thirty years instead of sixty. And really, he could sell it again as soon as the market picked up, make some extra money and buy an even nicer house—either here or in Sweden.  
  
Honestly, he didn’t really care where his house was. As his mother always had said, a place was only a home because of the people in it, not because of the location or the size or the mortgage. He had never understood the truth of that sage advice until now, but he was glad he did.  
  
Luckily Benny had accepted his proposal, so this whole other birthday surprise wouldn’t be awkward. But then he supposed—it couldn’t be awkward. He’d ended the lease at her previous house and she wouldn’t have any place to go if she didn’t move in with him.  
  
Benny pulled back from him, looking out the window when she felt the tug of the car’s gears shifting to park. The driver got out from his door and started around to them. “Seriously, Alex, where are we?”  
  
“Would you relax?” he asked. “I wouldn’t take you anywhere bad, would I?”  
  
“I’m not so sure about that,” she teased, kissing him lightly and turning as the driver opened the door. Alex watched her climb out, stretch and look up at the tall façade of the home, her face contorted with confusion.  
  
“Okay, where the hell are we?” she asked as he slid out of the town car and stood to his full height.  
  
Alex grinned and handed the driver a cash tip. It was Tony, the driver he usually used these days, and he always did a great job. He’d also discussed what Tony needed to do when they got to the house.  
  
“Come on,” he said.  
  
Benny looked up at him curiously. From the expression on her face, he knew that she knew this was a surprise for her, but he didn’t think she knew the extent of the surprise. “Is this Anna and Stephen’s house? Sam’s and Tess’ new one?”  
  
“No,” he said. “Just come on.”  
  
He led her around to the back of the house and took her through the gate to the extensive backyard. However, as they rounded a corner into the main deck that opened up onto a well-tended lawn and pool area, there stood all the important people in Benny’s life. Benny’s hand clenched when they all yelled for surprise.  
  
\---  
  
She had been expecting something special because he had been so secretive, but she hadn’t thought about this. In her thirty years of life, she’s never once had a surprise party, and she didn’t realize she had ever really wanted one until now.  
  
What flabbergasted her more was that her father hadn’t accidentally spilled the beans like he was prone to do.  
  
“MOMMY!”  
  
Benny’s heart clenched at the call from her son as she watched him kick and struggle against his grandmother’s hold to be put on the ground. When his feet touched the ground he was off, running toward her. Benny squatted down to catch him in her arms, but he ran into her with more force than she thought possible for a two-year-old. She was unsteady on her haunches and fell back onto the ground as Harrison wrapped his arms around her neck.  
  
It was one thing to be in Alex’s arms again, but an entirely different feeling to be reunited with Harrison whom she had missed and worried over more than anything else in the past five months. And with the strength in which he held onto her, she knew she had been gone too long.  
  
Also, she was never leaving without him again.  
  
She kissed his face all over. Instead of wiggling away like normal, he stayed still and then buried his face in her neck, his tiny hands tangling in the hair at the nape of her neck. Benny hugged him close, kissing the side of his head and smelling his hair. She just couldn’t do this again. If she ever traveled for a job again, her children were coming with her.  
  
The emotion welled so fast, she was unable to control them becoming tears of happiness. She knew she was an emotional person prone to crying—at least as of late—but there were just too many different feelings going through her that she couldn’t describe them any better than in tears.  
  
Benny wasn’t sure how long she and Harry stayed like this, but finally she looked up at the rest of her friends and family. They were all smiling, and most of them had misty eyes if they weren’t really crying.  
  
Benny looked up at the tall man beside her. Even he seemed moved to emotion by it, but she had learned it took a lot to get anything from him.  
  
“Can I go see your grandma and grandpa?” she asked Harrison.  
  
He move back and looked at her, his big blue eyes seeming to understand despite the fact that he didn’t really want to leave her arms.  
  
Benny stood up and picked him up with her, giving him one last kiss on his forehead and turning to Alex. “Will you stay with Alex?”  
  
“Awex!” he said, reached for him reluctantly. “I miss you, too, Awex.”  
  
Alex chuckled lowly and took Harrison for her, and then she left to see the rest of her family. Of all the hugs, even the ones from her mother and father, she was most surprised at her brother’s hug. Despite their rivalry, he hugged her… and it wasn’t a macho hug either. It was a real hug.  
  
She moved on to Bjorne and Lisa, and then Anna and Stephen who came with Tess and Sam.  
  
“Oh my god, look at you,” Benny said, touching Tess’ protruding belly and then hugging her close. “God, I’ve missed so much.”  
  
Tess giggled. “What matters is that you’re here now… and goodness am I going to need you in the coming months.”  
  
Benny smiled, remembering the many calls she received from Tess in the past few months asking her about being pregnant and having a baby. “Well, I’ll be here.”  
  
“Good,” Tess said.  
  
Benny hugged Sam and then turned to the last person she had to see. Hugging Josh, she turned to Joie.  
  
“Benny, I’m sorry…” Joie said.  
  
“I’ve already forgiven you,” Benny replied. “It wasn’t the best decision, but I’m not angry anymore.”  
  
Joie smiled. “Good. And, to be honest, I still don’t think I would have done anything differently.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes and hugged her adopted sister close, before breaking away. She looked around at everyone now mingling about. Some sat down in a little alcove with a fireplace, enjoying the warmth of the crisp November night air. Others had drinks being moved around by two uniformed waiters.  
  
“Who planned all this?” Benny asked.  
  
“Alex came up with the idea, and I made it happen,” Joie said. “It was easier for me to coordinate since he wasn’t here. And I also did it as sort of an olive branch.”  
  
Josh rolled his eyes. “No, you did it because you can’t stand not being in control.”  
  
Benny laughed. “He’s right, you know.”  
  
“You should have heard her about needing more options,” Josh said. “I felt like it was freaking award show season.”  
  
Joie rolled her eyes. “I have a great wedding planner for you, too.”  
  
Benny smiled. “I already decided on who I want.”  
  
“Who?” Joie asked.  
  
“David Tutera,” Benny said. “He did the Disney wedding packages, and I thought who better to do a Cinderella-inspired wedding?”  
  
Joie laughed. “I know you too well. That’s who I was going to suggest. He did a wedding here for his show and I styled the bride and bridesmaids with accessories.”  
  
Benny grinned. “Well, we’ll talk about all that later. I smell food and I’m starving.”  
  
Joie pointed to the buffet table set up. “Right there.”  
  
“Speaking of which, where are we?” Benny asked. “Alex wouldn’t tell me where he brought me.”  
  
“Then you don’t think he’d want me to tell you, do you?” Joie asked.  
  
“I hate you,” Benny groaned.  
  
Joie rolled her eyes. “Oh, look, here he comes now.”  
  
Benny turned as Alex joined her side, now free of Harry, but carrying a small box wrapped in glittery paper birthday paper. With it, he had a card.  
  
“I don’t need any more gifts!” she said.  
  
“Yes, you do,” he said. “Open the card first.”  
  
Benny opened the card, finding everyone present had signed it, even those not present, including a few of the elder Skarsgårds—especially Stellan. Even Harry, with his crayon scribbles. It was a funny card, and she looked around, finding that they were all watching her now.  
  
“Thanks, everyone,” she said.  
  
“This gift is from everyone who signed the card,” Alex said.  
  
Benny pursed her lips together and took the box. It was lightweight, but something moved within the wrapped box. She tore through the paper and reached for the lid. For some reason, her heart pounded with anticipation like a little kid excited for her birthday presents. She opened the box to find a silver key resting on top of a bed of white cotton. Attached to the key was a tag that said, “Welcome home.”  
  
“What?!” she asked, beside herself. She looked up at Alex, his smile wide.  
  
“Everyone had a hand in this,” Alex said. “They’ve all done something toward the house.  
  
Benny heard half of what he said, staring at the key in her hand. “This can’t be happening.”  
  
Alex laughed and turned her toward the house. She could just see inside the glass arcadia door, at the marble tiled floor leading into a sitting area.  
  
“How did you afford it?” she asked. Everything within her eyesight appearing top of the line, and she had no idea, even with the pay increase he said he got for True Blood, how he had been able to do all of this.  
  
“Like I said, everyone had a hand this,” he said. “I bought the house on a cheap foreclosure and it needed some work. Your mom and dad took care of the contractors for all the work, because of their connections.  
  
Benny opened her mouth and closed it, trying to formulate some words. But she couldn’t. Of all the things that had happened in the past seventy-two hours, this was, perhaps, the most mind boggling. She had a house. Her own house, and it wasn’t some small little cookie cutter house.  
  
This was a huge house in… in…  
  
“Where are we?” she asked.  
  
“Santa Monica,” he replied. “A few blocks away from Stephen and Anna.”  
  
“Oh my god,” she said. She could barely afford to live in California, much less a city on the beach like Santa Monica. Looking back at the house, she knew how much that house had to be worth. But then, with the market the way it was, Alex probably did get it for a smoking price.  
  
Benny stopped herself. Why the hell was she thinking like this? This was a gift she had been given, and she hadn’t even seen all of it yet.  
  
“Oh my god,” she said again, looking at key. “You bought a house.”  
  
“Yes,” he chuckled.  
  
“That must have been one hell of a pay raise,” she replied.  
  
He rolled his eyes. “Would you like to go see inside?”  
  
Benny nodded her head and replied faintly, “Uh-huh.”  
  
Alex turned to everyone and told them to keep mingling, they would be back shortly. Benny didn’t know exactly what he had said, but she knew that was the gist of it as she followed Alex inside the house, her need for food forgotten.  
  
\----  
  
Alex took her into the last room of the house, their master suite, and stood back as Benny walked around the huge room and into the marbled bathroom through to the closet.  
  
“There’s room for all my clothes and shoes!” she exclaimed as she walked out of it and turned around, taking in the furnishings, the flat screen on the wall… and stopping. “Did you buy it with all the furniture already?”  
  
“No,” he said. “It’s all new. Why? You don’t like it?”  
  
“No, I’ve loved it all,” she said. “It seems very me and you.”  
  
Alex nodded. “Well, Joie and Tess picked it out. They did all the decorating. That’s their part of the gift.”  
  
“T-they paid for it?” she asked.  
  
He sighed and shook his head. “Yes, they did. It’s not like either of them are hurting for money.”  
  
“Well, no, but…” she said. “I never expected something like this. You said my parents paid for all the remodeling that had to be done?”  
  
“They had their connections,” Alex said. “Joel somebody did it all.”  
  
“Bond,” she said. “Joel Bond. He owns a construction company and is a jouster with Dad.”  
  
Alex nodded. “Yes, him. Stephen and Anna took care of building the garden outside. According to Stephen, you have to have proper English garden so he can come over and have tea sometime.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I doubt he’s one for tea time. He strikes me more as the beer and footie on TV type of guy.”  
  
“Your brother bought all those electronics in the media room, with Harry’s help of course,” he said.  
  
“So he can come over and use them, I bet,” she said with a grin. “And you said Sam’s friend is the mortgage broker… they really all did do something, didn’t they?”  
  
“Every single one of them,” he said.  
  
“This is amazing, Alex.”  
  
“You like it?” he asked.  
  
Benny laughed and walked to him, wrapping her arms around him. “How could I not like it? Everything is perfect… and dare I say that it feels like with this, and with actually getting married, life will become normal after awhile.”  
  
“But our lives are anything but normal,” he said.  
  
“We do live in an abnormal world, don’t we?” she asked.  
  
“Yes, we do, but we’ll make this our normal area,” he replied. “The house, that is.”  
  
“Deal,” she replied.  
  
Alex smiled. “Ready to see the last surprise?”  
  
“There’s more?”  
  
He kissed her quickly and took her hand, leading her out the double French doors to a veranda that connected all the rooms on the top floor. There was a flight of stairs down to the main level and walkway back to another small structure. He opened the door and let her inside.  
  
“My family did all this, with Bjorne and Lisa’s help,” he said. “Apparently Dad is convinced he’ll retire and come out here to be our pool guy.”  
  
Benny looked around at the small house, which would be the guest house that had been decorated with IKEA furniture. She knew that for a fact, because she’d been eyeing the leather couches on the website for awhile. “A little cliché, isn’t it? It’s like an IKEA showroom in here.”  
  
“What? They have good shit,” he laughed.  
  
“This is great, too,” she said. “Can we go back out to the party now? They probably think we’re neglecting them.”  
  
“No, I have one more place I want to show you,” he said.  
  
“Is it bad that I just can’t take any more?” she replied. “This is all too much. And I’m serious about that.”  
  
Alex left her side and she had no choice but to follow him outside, down a private cobbled path to the other side of the pool from all their guests. This was the small house that she had suspected as actually being the guest house. Apparently it wasn’t.  
  
He showed inside the dark room and then flipped on the lights. What she saw made her gasp, her hands covering her mouth. “Alex… you didn’t.”  
  
She walked around, spinning in one spot at the hundreds of shelves, drawers and closets surrounding her. In the center of the room was a large island with cutting boards and some other utensils. She stepped off into the side room, which would have probably been the bedroom. Instead, in this room, was her array of machines she used in her business, including some new ones. The third and smallest room was an office, with a desk and desktop computer set up.  
  
Benny was beside herself. More so now than when this had all started.  
  
She went back out into the main room where Alex stood by himself. “I don’t know how you did this, but thank you.”  
  
“It was my pleasure,” he replied.  
  
Benny wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss her. “I’m in a dream. I have to be.”  
  
“No dream,” he replied. “I just had to devise a way to ensure you’d never leave again. I felt that by giving you your own studio and your own office, you could build your own business and get out of this costumes rat race.”  
  
“I’m still doing costumes,” she said. “But I do want to grow my business up, too… so thank you.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” he said, kissing her again.  
  
Benny giggled and pushed away from him. “I love you Alexander Skarsgard. You’ve made this the best birthday I’ve ever had.”  
  
“Did I?” he asked.  
  
“Well, yeah, except for when I turned five and I got my own horse,” she said.  
  
Alexander laughed loudly at that. “Fair enough.”  
  
Benny grinned. “Let’s go out there… I need to thank everyone.”  
  
“Of course,” he said. “Lead the way.”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 7

Benny let herself into her house a week later, glad that her long work day was finally complete. After a few days of relative peace, enjoying her life in her new house with her fiancé and son, she’d been thrown headlong back into the workings of preproduction of the third season of True Blood.

While she was thankful for the work, and her elevation in status as an assistant costume designer, it was _difficult_ work. Possibly even more backbreaking than as an assistant costumer; her new role meant she did all of Audrey’s administrative work without the glory of having her name in Audrey’s place. Eventually she’d get her own show and design her little heart out, but until that time she was subject to someone else’s whim.

At least Audrey seemed to like her enough. Audrey had always been kind to her before, and hadn’t changed around Benny much after it became known that she and Alex were married. Well, technically, they hadn’t been married after all, but they had all thought so at the time. Even though she and Alex knew differently now and let everyone know, it didn’t change the fact she had a big diamond on her ring finger from him.

What worried Benny the most were her interactions between herself and the rest of the costume staff. A majority of the department had been rehired for the new season, and most of them had been making a wide berth around her since they had come back to the workshop as of Monday. Actually, many of the crew members either ignored her or would get quiet as soon as she entered the area as though they didn’t trust her. She knew some of this behavior was to be expected, but there was no sidestepping the fact that it was a weird side effect of being attached to one of the show’s leads.

She wouldn’t have minded much if someone hadn’t left that gossip magazine mysteriously open the page in which Alex was prominently featured with Kate at the GQ party a few days ago. Perhaps she was hypersensitive to it now, but it felt as though someone had intentionally left it open to that page, in an effort to injure her. Sure, whomever had left it out could have just been called away when they were reading about a cast member on the show they were working on, but who could tell? She wasn’t about to ask and stir up more trouble.

As Benny dropped her purse on the table by the door and kicked her shoes off near the coat closet, she could hear the most annoying, nasally laugh coming from somewhere in her house. She hadn’t spent enough time in the house yet to know where exactly it had come from, especially since sounds traveled rather well on the hardwoods and tile throughout the bottom level of the house.

This laughing was followed by Harry’s squeal of excitement and Alex’s low chuckle. Benny frowned and walked deeper into the house, coming into the great room that housed the kitchen and living room.

Alex was sprawled out on the floor, holding Harry over his head and doing lifts with him as though he were a weight.

On the couch, watching this in a way that unsettled Benny, sat Kate.

“Mommy!”

Harry was the first to notice her, and he wiggled out of Alex’s grasp and ran to her. She scooped him up and kissed him. “How was your day, baby?”

“Poppy and Grandma came to dinner,” he said. “And we ate hot dogs!”

Benny laughed, watching Alex carefully pull himself up from the floor. She glanced at Harry. “Were they good hot dogs?”

“Yep.” Harry nodded his head adamantly.

Alex stepped toward her and kissed her. Benny sighed into it. Despite her frazzled nerves, it always made her feel better. But she still had to figure out why Kate was here.

“How was your day?” Alex asked.

“Exhausting,” she replied. “I’ll tell you about it later.”

She’d been purposely obvious hinting at the other adult in the room.

Alex stepped back and smiled. “Oh, sorry. I forgot you hadn’t met.”

“Benny, this is Kate,” he said. “Kate, this is Benny… my fiancée.”

Kate smiled a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, and held her hand out. Benny took it and shook her hand. She knew she had to be charitable. As much as Benny wanted to lift her leg and piss on Alex like some dog marking his territory, she knew she had to allow Alex to have his own friends whether they be male or female. She had many male friends herself that Alex didn’t make a big deal about, so she couldn’t very well argue against him having female friends.

However, it didn’t help that her trust level over such issues just wasn’t rebuilt yet. Her previous relationship had taught her to always be on her guard about opposite sex “friends”. It was a learned anxiety that apparently would take a lot of therapy to overcome.

Bless her, Kate tried to appear just as happy to meet her, despite the tension Benny felt rolling off the diminutive woman standing in front of her. “It’s so great to finally meet you, Benny. Alex has told me so much about you, I feel like I know you already!”

Benny smiled. Apparently Kate had taken acting classes, too, because that had almost sounded believable. “Likewise.”

Hopefully her lie had been more believable. Alex hadn’t really told her much about Kate.

“Anyway,” Alex interrupted, diverting their attention back to him, “I wanted to know if you’d like to go to a movie with me… Kate said she’d watch Harry.”

Benny glanced at the fake woman she barely knew. Like hell this woman was going to watch her son.

“Oh, Alex, I’m so tired from today,” she said. “And I have to be to the studio really early tomorrow to get ready for the first wave of costume fittings. But you could totally go with Kate.”

God, she sounded pathetic. She hated how Kate’s eyes lit up.

Alex sighed and nodded. “Are you sure?

Benny smiled. “Of course.”

The tension that had sprung up was so uncomfortable; she just needed to get out the situation.

Harry grew heavier in her arms and she glanced down at him, realizing he was nodding off. Benny sighed, thinking it very unsettling but not unpleasant that she’d much rather spend the night at home watching her son sleep than worry about Alex going out with some other woman.

“Let’s get you to bed, little one,” Benny said, readjusting the heavy load in her arms.

“Kate, I’ll meet you outside,” Alex said.

At least Kate understood she was not wanted in the conversation. Kate left to wait outside, and Alex followed her up the stairs to Harry’s bedroom. Benny placed Harry in the bed and pulled the covers back, kissing his forehead again. She stood back as Alex bent down and kissed Harry goodnight, glancing at him one last time. It was still a miracle Alex had been able to get Harry to sleep in a regular bed.

Oh, and he’d also been able to get Harry to start using the toilet. He was like the freaking baby whisperer.

They went outside his room and he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Benny, tell me the truth. Are you okay with me going out? If you aren’t, I won’t go.”

Benny sighed. “Alex, I want you to go. I want you to have other friends, even if they’re women. This is all my own hang up.”

“You don’t seem too thrilled about it,” he said.

She shrugged. “It’s not going to be all rainbows and butterflies, Alex. You developed a friendship with Kate, you should keep it up. If you have to be seen publicly for the movie, so be it. I can deal with it… just like I hope you can deal with the friends I made in New Zealand who are male and single.”

Alex stiffened at that. He still hadn’t accepted the fact that the cast and crew of Spartacus had been male in majority. “You’re sure-sure.”

“Yes,” she said. “Go see a movie. Have fun. I’m going to take a shower and collapse.”

“Okay,” he said tentatively. “I won’t be out late. Just to see the movie.”

Benny smiled and stood on her toes, pulling him down to her so she could kiss him. “Have fun. I trust you.”

Alex nodded solemnly, as thought stealing himself to that trustworthiness. “I love you.”

“I know,” she said. “Now go. That stick thing outside is probably half frozen by now.”

He rolled his eyes. “Hey now, don’t be like that.”

“I just call them like I see them,” she replied. “It’s not a dig at her personality. It’s a dig at her inability to eat.”

Alex chuckled. “Believe it or not, she does eat.”

Benny smiled. “Yeah, but probably only when necessary for human survival.”

“Okay, I’m going now,” he said.

“Good,” Benny replied. “See you later.”

He kissed her one last time and left her in the hallway. Benny waited until she heard the front door shut and lock until she exhaled.

She did trust him, more than anything, but that didn’t replace the territorial nature boiling up within her at the moment. He had to go out and play. If he didn’t, their relationship would never last.

\----

Alex had never been this uncomfortable in his life. The flashing lights as soon as he came out of the movie theater were blinding, and the questions the paparazzi were hurling at him were insipid. He wanted nothing more than to punch one of them, especially when they continued to dig about the state of his and Kate’s relationship.

He knew how to deal with the paparazzi. This wasn’t his first rodeo, after all. But what he was unaccustomed to was the sudden fishbowl his life was in. Or that he knew Benny should have been the one here with him instead of Kate. He should have been able to walk with her and still not answer the paparazzi.

The only thing he felt now was ashamed for what he had been duped into by his publicists. He’d never had to worry about this before he had been forced to hire a publicist. But now that he had a publicist and “people”, they required certain things of him.

Especially if it meant promoting a movie.

Straw Dogs had been pushed back nearly indefinitely, and his contract depended a great deal on ticket sale percentage. While he knew the movie was quality, if not something that people really wanted to see at the time, he had to do his level best to promote. The best way the studio could think was the drum up some attention by Kate and Alex hanging out together. It helped that he quite liked Kate, though not in a romantic sense.

But he knew at the time it would hurt Benny. Even if she said she understood everything, he knew better than that. He knew the smile on her face was fake. He knew she wanted to be out there going to places with him.

However, he didn’t really think she wanted to be seen with him yet. They’d both discussed it at length on the second afternoon they spent walking around London. Even if there weren’t contracts and responsibilities binding them to stay silent about their relationship, they wouldn’t come out yet because they wanted to protect Harry for just a little bit longer.

He hoped that his fans and nonfans would understand his situation when he finally broke free of the bonds. That he had thrown up these smoke screens not only to protect his family, but also to not endanger his career. And as an added side effect, Kate got her daily appearances in gossip blogs. Everyone else in the deal seemed to be resigned, if not happy, for this arrangement.

Everyone else _but_ him.

And it really pissed him off that Kate indulged them by answering their questions, acting so blatantly coy, making it appear they really had gone out on a date. All this meant was that some salacious story would be written up about them and he would have to play damage control with Benny.

Alex got into his car, waiting anxiously for Kate to get in and close the door. As soon as she did, he sped off as quickly as possible, finally relieved to be free of the cameras.

After some time, Kate cleared her throat and looked at him. “Alex, it’s what they do.”

“That doesn’t make it any less annoying,” he replied.

She shook her head. “We sorta have to do this.”

“I know we do,” he said. “I’ve sealed myself to it. But I’d appreciate it if you weren’t so communicative with them. It seems like you want it.”

Kate scoffed. “I _do_ want it. I have to have it. My career is hanging on by a thread right now, Alex. My face out there is the only thing that keeps me relevant.”

Alex sighed. “Yeah, I know. But you seem to forget I have a wife back home who sees and reads this stuff. She says she ignores it, but I know differently.”

“She’s not your wife yet,” Kate muttered.

He opened his mouth to reply, but knew he shouldn’t. He didn’t need this argument. Kate wasn’t worth it. She knew the boundaries he had set between them.

Kate rolled her eyes and turned to look out the car window. “If you have such a problem with it, then we don’t need to do this anymore. I’ll just tell my publicist to find more things to do on my own.”

“Maybe that would be best,” he said. “I still want to be your friend, Kate. I just can’t do the pap thing with you except on very extreme occasions.”

“Whatever,” she replied.

Alex rolled his eyes in turn and looked back at the road, paying close attention to his driving and getting lost in his thoughts until they were back at the house. Their parting was quick and perfunctory, and spoke volumes—at least to him it did. He may have hurt her, but he honestly didn’t care.

Alex let himself into the house and locked the door behind him, turning off lights as he went up the stairs. He stopped at Harry’s door and poked his head in, finding the room empty. Frowning, he headed toward the master bedroom.

There, completely dead to the world, was Benny with her arms curled around Harrison, holding him against her chest as he slept. Alex hadn’t realized how starved for his mother’s attention Harrison had been until she returned home and he wouldn’t leave her side unless he absolutely had to. It was both heartwarming—to see that type of bond—but also heart wrenching because he knew he was mostly to blame for their five month separation. Had he realized the effect his career had on them, he would have never put them through it.

Yet, Benny stuck around when she could have had someone normal.

That told him that she was either stupid or completely in love with him. Since he knew that there wasn’t a stupid bone in Benny’s body, the latter made him smile every time he thought about it. He didn’t really think any of his past girlfriends had ever loved him so unconditionally.

Alex sighed and headed back into the bathroom and into the closet, rummaging for pajama pants. He hadn’t worn any in awhile, but having a kid prevented anything else from happening in the bed, so he supposed he should be a gentleman about it.

He slipped into the bed on what had become “his side” and pulled the covers up. Benny opened her eyes partially and reached out for him. He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. “Go back to sleep.”

“I am,” she replied, her hand reaching out for his and squeezing his fingers before going lax again.

Alex couldn’t keep the heavy sigh from escaping his lips as she settled back into her slumber. He felt like an ass requiring Benny to live like this with him. There were no more questions about it now. He _needed_ to change this set up. It was unacceptable to him.

The problem was, he just didn’t know how or where to begin, because he had so many obligations to so many different people.

Alex frowned as he slowly drifted to sleep, thinking that this was the big wrench in it all that he’d been trying to find from the very beginning. This was the issue that would make them or break them as a couple, and he couldn’t figure out how to solve it.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 8  
  
The pounding in Benny’s head had grown infinitesimally since she walked into the wardrobe workroom the next day. Despite going home extremely exhausted and sleeping the night through, she woke with a pounding headache in her temples that morning. No amount of caffeine or the endorphin rush associated with a heavy petting session that morning with her fiancé had helped. Medication hadn’t even touched it.  
  
But she had to be here today. The leads were all coming in for costume demos and fittings for the new season, and the supervision of said task was left to her. Coordinating the ever-changing schedule proved difficult enough, but then getting some of the less experienced and less talented costume makers to measure and hem correctly was another story.  
  
As she helped one of the seamstresses that had been hired fresh out of design school, her headache only worsened. How could they graduate someone from design school when the student in question barely knew how to thread the needle on a sewing machine? It wasn’t like their machines were incredibly complicated or anything. They didn’t have any computers to do the work for them. But then, perhaps, that was the problem all along. The girl must have become too used to punching everything into an LCD screen.  
  
Growing frustrated, Benny stood up from threading the machine and handed the garment to the girl to finish. She refused to yell, but it looked more likely as the day continued to wear on. Benny went back to her coding of costumes for the first episode script, only to be drawn away by the smell of greasy Mexican food finding her nose.  
  
She looked up, finding Tess standing over her with a plastic bag of the stuff. “Please tell me you brought a margarita with you.”  
  
“I don’t condone drunken sewing,” Tess laughed. “Come on, it looks like you need a break.”  
  
“God, do I,” Benny said, closing up her paperwork and checking her appointments. The rest of the staff could handle it for a little while. Benny led Tess back into her tiny makeshift office in the far corner of the large workroom, blocked off by shelving. “Maybe food will help my headache.”  
  
Tess smiled. “Yes, woman cannot subsist on caffeine and sex alone.”  
  
“But she can try,” Benny chuckled. “Sit in the good chair.”  
  
“I can sit in the folding chair.” Tess rolled her eyes.  
  
Benny frowned. “You’ll sit in my office chair and you’ll like it. Besides, I don’t want to listen to Sam complain about how I made you uncomfortable.”  
  
Tess waved her off and pulled out the food, setting everything up and settling down into the folding chair anyway. “Sit down. You’re not going to have much time before the next fire needs to be put out. You know, when I get several texts during the day promising bodily harm to people, it worries me.”  
  
“I promise I won’t do anything bad,” Benny said. “I just wish this headache would go away.”  
  
“Honey, this headache is called being a supervisor,” Tess replied.  
  
Benny pursed her lips. “This headache is called my life.”  
  
Tess shook her head and dug into her lunch. They sat in silence but for the workings of the room outside her little cubby, munching carefully on their food. Despite her headache, Benny always liked spending time with Tess. She was very good to decompress with.  
  
“I’m going to miss this when you go on maternity leave,” Benny said.  
  
“I’ll be gone and back before you know it,” Tess replied. “Heaven knows I can’t leave my department that long. It would implode.”  
  
Benny giggled. “Or explode in a burst of pale powder and fake blood.”  
  
“At least it’s not glitter,” Tess said.  
  
“God, you should have seen me yesterday working on some of Nelsan’s costumes,” Benny said. “I was completely covered in it.”  
  
Tess grinned. “I’m sure he’s thanking you for the glitz.”  
  
“Not my problem,” Benny said, inhaling the rest of her spinach enchilada. She was hungrier than she thought, and if she were being honest, the pounding in her temples didn’t seem as distracting now.  
  
The walkie-talkie on Tess’ hip crackled. “Tess?”  
  
Tess closed her eyes and looked as though she were taking a few calming breaths before she reached for the device. “I swear to all that is holy… why the hell can’t I just take an hour for lunch?”  
  
“Join the club,” Benny said, flicking through the emails on her laptop, seeing if the costume rental warehouses she had emailed had gotten back to her on the Nazi SS uniforms for Alex and Allan.  
  
“What is it?” Tess spoke into the walkie-talkie.  
  
“Where are you?” the voice said on the other side. “We’re having a bit of a problem with Sam’s new makeup you ordered. Over.”  
  
Tess rolled her eyes and started cleaning up her mess. “Okay, I have to go powder my boyfriend’s ass.”  
  
Benny giggled. “Go! I’ll clean this up.”  
  
“Thanks,” she said. “You know, powdering Alex’s ass this morning was great.”  
  
“Did you tell him that?” Benny asked with a raised eyebrow, trying to keep from blushing.  
  
Tess shook her head. “Why do I need to tell him when he knows it?”  
  
“Touché,” Benny said, waving at her as Tess left her cubby. Benny gathered up their trash and threw it in the garbage bin, turning back to her computer. Nothing but a few emails from Audrey’s iPhone stating that she’d found a few pieces they’d been looking for at another warehouse. Benny crossed them off her list and then headed out into the main work area.  
  
In the center of the room stood Alex, trying on the first of his costumes that needed hemming. She hadn’t even heard him come in while she’d been with Tess in the back. The fact that he hadn’t come back looking for her to say hello also hurt, but she chose to ignore it.  
  
He looked up from the ground where one of the new seamstresses measured his pants and checked fit, as he adjusted the t-shirt Audrey had bought and dyed a light grey. It took him a moment to meet her eyes in the mirror, but when they did, his entire face lit up in a smile.  
  
Her stomach flipped around, and it wasn’t even from the Mexican food she’d just shoveled into her mouth. Benny smiled and meant to go over to him, but someone called her name, diverting her attention elsewhere.  
  
\---  
  
Alex watched Benny in the mirror as she toiled over a broken sewing machine, finding it rather endearing to see the tip of her tongue stick out as she struggled to screw something into the machine. But he could also tell that something else was up. She looked care-worn and ready to call it a day. While she would be finishing in a few hours, he worried because production people usually didn’t look like this until at least half way through shooting a season.  
  
“Alex, turn this way,” said the wardrobe assistant as she took a picture of the look he was wearing and began cataloguing pieces for later use. The assistant then set her camera down and knelt in front of him, fixing a pin on his pant legs and then standing up. He missed Benny in this position, honestly. Oh, certainly, he was overjoyed that she’d been promoted, but he’d rather look down her cleavage on the days she wore something more revealing.  
  
They instructed him to go back and change back into his street clothes—they’d done all the fittings for now. He supposed one of the good things about being a regular on the show meant that he built up an entire wardrobe to draw from after a few seasons, so not as many clothes needed to be made or bought.  
  
And he didn’t have to get stuck with pins.  
  
But Benny had never once accidentally stuck him with a pin, unlike some others on staff.  
  
He stepped out of the dressing room and handed the costumes back to the assistant, glancing around for Benny again. Now she was at the work table and rifling through a stack of papers. Trying to appear as nonchalant as he could manage, he walked over to her, very well aware that though everyone in the room tried to hide it, they were watching him to see what he’d do.  
  
He’d felt the tension in the room as soon as he entered. So apparently Benny hadn’t been overstating the state of affairs in Wardrobe Land. There were some here who just didn’t know how to feel or act about their relationship.  
  
Well, he supposed, then what he was about to do would send them into a tizzy.   
  
Maybe.  
  
Benny glanced up in time to see him. She smiled again, and he didn’t stop, bring his right hand up to raise her chin, allowing his other hand to circle behind her head and tangle her hair a bit while he kissed her. He knew better than to do so passionately—even though he wanted to deepen the kiss—so he lengthened the kiss a moment longer and finally pulled back.  
  
She licked her lips a moment before catching herself, and then blushed slightly. “Hi.”  
  
“Hey,” he said, taking a step back, but only enough to give her some breathing room.  
  
“I can’t talk,” she said. “I’ve got a million things to do and no time to do them.”  
  
“Sounds like normal,” he replied.  
  
Benny laughed and shrugged. “I’ll see you at home.”  
  
“Of course,” he said.   
  
“Good,” she said and stood on her toes to kiss him lightly. “Now get out of here.”  
  
“Yes, madam,” he said, bowing mockingly and heading out of the work room onto the lot. No one paid him any mind as he went to his trailer to collect his things and then headed out to his car. Anna and Stephen were just leaving as he made it to his car. Stephen pulled his vehicle to a stop and rolled down the window.  
  
Anna smiled. “Hey stranger, what are you and the missus doing tonight?”  
  
Alex shrugged. “Why?”  
  
“We’re making dinner,” Anna said. “Don’t give me that look. That roast wasn’t that bad!”  
  
“Yes, it was, love,” Stephen chided.   
  
Anna rolled her eyes. “Okay, Stephen’s making dinner.”  
  
Stephen leaned over from the driver’s side. “Dinner’s at 8. Bring Harry. Does he like hot dogs?”  
  
“Yeah,” Alex said.  
  
“Good. It’s all Lilac will eat,” Stephen said. “But we’ll get something better for the adults.”  
  
Alex nodded. “Do you want us to bring anything?”  
  
“Nah, we got it,” he replied. “After the party last week, I figure we owe you.”  
  
“Whatever, man, I owe you for the work you put into the house,” Alex said.  
  
“Nothing between friends.” Stephen waved him off. “See you at 8.”  
  
With that, Stephen rolled up the window and they waved at him as he peeled out of the parking lot. Alex stood, watching them go for a moment, shaking his head. God, when had he become so domestic?  
  
Pretty soon he’d be driving a minivan and toting his kid to football practice.  
  
It unsettled him at how quickly his life took such a one-eighty, but he supposed it was okay. Okay as long as his kid wore Hammarby colors out on the field.  
  
\----  
  
Benny let herself into the house to her son squealing and running full speed toward her with his sneakers and tiny windbreaker on him. She grabbed him up, hugging him close, attempting to balance with her big purse on her shoulder. Alex followed soon after Harrison, his coat and shoes on as well.  
  
“Where are we going?”  
  
“Stephen and Anna invited us over for dinner,” he said.  
  
Benny frowned, the headache that hadn’t subsided all day giving one more painful throb over her right eye. “Oh, Alex, I’ve got such a horrible headache.”  
  
He looked as though he hadn’t expected that answer and didn’t know how to respond. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. It was just going to be them and us. Nothing fancy.”  
  
“No, no,” she said and sighed. “Just let me get some Tylenol or something. I’ve had a headache all freaking day and those newbies they hired don’t know what the hell they’re doing.”  
  
“Mommy, what freaking?” Harry asked as she placed him on the ground.  
  
Benny closed her eyes and sighed heavily. “Nothing, baby. Let’s go get some medicine for Mommy.”  
  
“Freaking, freaking, freaking!” Harry repeated, skipping joyfully beside her.  
  
She couldn’t keep in the groan that escaped her lips. At least it was better than some of the other alternatives she felt like yelling at the moment. She located the Tylenol in the kitchen and took three with a cup of water.  
  
Glancing up, she looked at Alex who stood in the entrance to the kitchen. He’d been very quiet. Maybe she’d spoken too bitingly to him and he was maintaining his distance.   
  
“Are you mad?” he finally asked.  
  
Benny shook her head. “No. Not really. Going to their place for dinner solves the issue of me having to make dinner or us going out. I’m just so tired and my head hurts so terribly I could cry right now.”  
  
“B, if it’s that bad, don’t come with us,” he said. “Anna and Stephen will understand.”  
  
“No, I’m going,” she said. “This would make two nights in a row we didn’t spend together because you went out with your friends.”  
  
Alex nodded, not convinced.  
  
“Ready to go, Harry?” she asked, glancing down at Harry who was playing with his Thomas the Tank engine.  
  
“Yeah! I wanna see Stephen!” he nodded. “Stephen talk funny.”  
  
“Yes, he does,” Benny smiled. She knelt down and picked him up.  
  
Benny sighed, readjusting her purse on her shoulder and walking over to Alex. She stopped just in front of him. “Just don’t make me walk. Please. My back and legs ache, too.”  
  
He smiled. “Your wish is my command.”  
  
“Good,” she said, walking past him and out to the front. She put Harry into his car seat in her car and handed Alex the keys.  
  
Benny lowered down into the seat and closed her eyes. Alex started the car and adjusted his seat and mirrors. As he started pulling out of the driveway, she glanced over at him. “I’m sorry if I was snippy. I’m just not feeling too hot. I think I’m coming down with a cold or something. All that traveling and climate change caught up to me.”  
  
“Don’t worry about it,” he said softly. “I get it. You’re tired. And I probably should have asked before I committed to anything… I’m just not used to it… to thinking about other people.”  
  
Benny chuckled lowly. “Just a tidge selfish, huh?”  
  
“Maybe,” he replied.  
  
“Call a spade a spade, Alex,” she said.   
  
Alex shook his head and changed gears, driving down the street. Anna and Stephen’s house was only two blocks away, but at least he didn’t complain about driving over there. That was one tick mark in his favor for tonight. He parked the car in front of their house.  
  
He started to get out of the car, but she reached out for him, grabbing his hand. Alex paused and turned to look back at her. “What is it?”  
  
“Come here,” she said, motioning toward herself. He leaned in and she sat up, kissing his lips. “I forgot to do that when I came in.”  
  
Alex smiled. “We won’t stay long unless you want to.”  
  
Benny nodded. “We’ll see how I feel after dinner. It might just be a hunger headache that didn’t go away with my quick lunch today.”  
  
“Maybe,” he said and kissed her again.  
  
“Ewww!” cried Harry from the backseat.  
  
Benny couldn’t believe that had come out of her son. She turned back to look at Harry. “I can’t kiss Alex?”  
  
“No!” Harry said.  
  
She got out of her side and unbuckled Harry from his seat, pulling him out. “Then who am I supposed to kiss? You?”  
  
She kissed him rapidly all over his face, making him squirm.  
  
“Mommy, stop!” he laughed. “Stop.”  
  
Benny grinned and looked down at him. She was already feeling better. And that was a good thing.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9  
  
Anna stood in front of her, holding a goblet of wine out. “Come on, take the wine, or you’ll force me to drink it on my own. And that is not a good thing.”  
  
Benny didn’t need to be asked twice. She held the pungent liquid in her mouth for a moment before swallowing, enjoying the feeling of the warmth it created from the inside of her body. Though it didn’t make her headache any better, it certainly relaxed her. That coupled with Anna’s surprisingly sedate presence was wonderful.  
  
“Now, just forget about the annoyances of the day,” Anna said. “Cause I know there were a lot.”  
  
“And how,” Benny rolled her eyes.  
  
Anna giggled and walked around the kitchen island and sat on the stool beside Benny, turning to her. “You know, I think our days are long. And then I look at the madhouse you had to coordinate today, and I’m not tired at all.”  
  
Benny grinned. “It’s no biggie. Despite all the headaches, I truly do love what I do.”  
  
“I know you do,” she said and sighed. Silence passed between them and they could hear the sounds of yelling in the other room at the television. “I swear. Anything involving a ball and hitting people, men love.”  
  
“They don’t even need a ball, trust me,” Benny remarked. “My family does it on horses with long pointy sticks. And the occasional rusty sword.”  
  
Anna smiled. “Alex said something like that. What do they do again?”  
  
“They’re actors,” Benny said. “Well, at least that’s what they try to be… my dad is part owner to a troupe of stunt performers that specialize in jousting at renaissance faires.”  
  
“That sounds so random and yet really interesting,” Anna replied.  
  
Benny nodded. “You have no idea how random. You should see me trying to explain this to people on job interviews. Especially to people who have never been to a faire before.”  
  
“I’ve only ever seen it advertised one TV,” Anna said. “When is it?”  
  
“April to May. You should come out if you have time next year,” Benny said.  
  
Anna nodded. “We should have plenty… we don’t start shooting movies until June, I think.”  
  
“When are you two finally getting married in between all this?” Benny asked.  
  
“Who knows,” Anna replied, touching her engagement ring with the other hand. “Probably late summer. We have a few months before we absolutely have to put a date on the invites. What about you two? Have you even had time to discuss it?”  
  
Benny shrugged and sighed, taking a drink of her wine. “Not really. With pre-production and everything, we’ve only really seen each other as we collapse into bed to do it again the next morning. Of course, that isn’t helped when every step you take, you have publicists and managers and everyone else telling you how to go about your relationship. Oh, and don’t get me started on Kate.”  
  
Ann froze for a moment and pursed her lips. “What about Kate?”  
  
“Nothing. I’m just being jealous and protective of my husband,” Benny said. “Well, fiancé, I guess.”  
  
“Don’t lie, Benny. There’s something going on. Tell me. Maybe I can help.”  
  
Benny sighed. “I showed up at home last night, really just wanting to spend time with my boys, and Kate was there supposedly to watch Harry while Alex and I went out to a movie or something. I didn’t want to go because I really hate going out after a long tiring day at work, so I told Alex and Kate to go out. It’s what their publicist wants anyway… to drum up some attention for Kate, and to keep me out of the picture in the eyes of the public. It was only one evening out, and I really could care less… I think.”  
  
Anna sucked in a long breath and let it out slowly, shaking her head. “Girl, you must be a saint, because I wouldn’t put up with that shit. Screw what the publicist wants. You have to do what’s right for you and Alex.”  
  
“I know, but what if what’s right is him doing this charade to not only give us time to work out everything before we go public, but also because it helps his career? You know there’s no such thing as bad publicity, really. He needs it to keep his career going. His star keeps rising, and he’ll achieve the things he wants,” Benny said and paused a moment. “What is a wife… girlfriend… fiancée… to do?”  
  
“You’re right, there’s no simple answer.” Anna shook her head. “But keep an eye on the whole Kate thing. I trust Alex to make the right decision, but she’ll dig her claws into him as deeply as she can.”  
  
Benny frowned. “You know for a fact?”  
  
“Just call it woman’s intuition after being at the awards show with them last month,” Anna said.  
  
Benny’s frown deepened and she looked into the empty goblet in her hand. So much for her headache dissipating. Now it was back and bigger than ever, pounding in her head with the worries and thoughts swirling again about all of this. She so badly just wanted to go public with Alex, and be done with the whole matter. Honestly, she wanted to be the woman on his arm that he was happy to show off, even if it meant paparazzi invading their privacy. She didn’t want to give that spot up to some other woman who wouldn’t be sticking around for the long haul with Alex.  
  
At least she hoped Kate wouldn’t be sticking around for very long.  
  
The last thought made her ill, and she had to stop herself from retching. She shook her head and looked back up at Anna.  
  
“I’m going to need more wine.”  
  
Anna nodded and got up from her seat to go grab the bottle of wine on the other side of the kitchen. Yes, wine would help.   
  
She hoped.  
  
\----  
  
Alex shifted uncomfortably in his seat, picking at the label on his beer. While he loved spending time with his friends, especially now with Benny, he was very well aware that she wasn’t feeling well. He should have just canceled the whole night, and made her go to bed and as he laid with her for a little while. Obviously, she was exhausted, he could see it in her eyes, but also a little bit peaky and pale. Even the wine she’d been drinking hadn’t added the pleasant rosy buds to her cheeks.  
  
He also knew that despite making up in the car, whatever had happened to cause her annoyance and anger earlier wasn’t over. Actually, he felt that this was far from over and it was going to get a lot worse before it got better.   
  
“So what are your plans for the whole two weeks they gave us at Christmas?” Stephen asked as he leaned back comfortably in his chair.  
  
Benny shrugged. “I have no idea. We haven’t really discussed it yet.”  
  
“I haven’t been home in a few years for Christmas, so I’d like to go see my family,” Alex added.  
  
“But on the other hand, I haven’t been away from mine for a Christmas since I was born,” Benny nodded, an edge of annoyance in her voice. She sighed. “And I don’t know if we’re going to get all of the paperwork taken care of in time for Harry to be able to go to Sweden with us.”  
  
Alex nodded. “So who knows.”  
  
Benny gave them a weak smile. “We’ll figure it out.”  
  
Alex watched Benny closely as she continued on the conversation with Anna and Stephen. Something was off. He couldn’t put his finger on it and it drove him insane. Usually he was pretty good at reading people, but not lately.  
  
He zoned out for the rest of the conversation until he heard Benny calling his name. He looked up at her, meeting her eyes. “Hmm?”  
  
“Are you ready to head home?” Benny asked. “I’ve got to be at the studio pretty early tomorrow.”  
  
“Oh, yeah,” Alex said. “Sure.”  
  
Benny nodded and they stopped off in the living room where Harrison had fallen asleep on the couch. Alex leaned down, picking the boy up carefully and resting him against his chest. Within ten minutes, after profuse thank yous and promises of other dinners, they were home. He left Benny and took Harrison to bed. After he got his son tucked into bed, he’d go after Benny and try to figure out what was going on with her.  
  
“Goodnight, Harry,” he whispered, kissing his forehead.  
  
Harrison’s eyes fluttered open. “Night-night, Awex.” He promptly rolled over and fell right back into sleep, his stuffed horse wrapped in his arms.  
  
Alex left the room, and moved down the long hallway and into the master bedroom. As he walked in, Benny came out of the bathroom, rubbing lotion or something on her hands and arms. She didn’t say anything to him as she pulled down the heavy bedcovers and tossed the superfluous pillows on the floor.  
  
“What’s wrong, Benny?” he asked.  
  
She paused and turned to glance at him. “Nothing.”  
  
He scoffed. “Don’t say that. There’s something seriously wrong and you’re not telling me what it is.”  
  
“God, can’t I just be tired and have a headache?” Benny asked. “Do I always have to have something ‘wrong’?”  
  
“No,” he said softly.  
  
“You know, I’m not always all happy and easy-going Benny,” she warned. “I _am_ allowed to be crabby once and awhile for no good reason.”  
  
He chewed on his lower lip. “Of course you are. That’s not what I’m saying…”  
  
Benny harrumphed and crawled into the large bed, leaning back against the headboard. “I’m just really tired of everything already. It’s only a week into the season and I already can’t stand the people I’m working with. I’m tired of the politics and the drama. I’m tired of being shunned because I’m with you, from everyone. From the people I work with, to your publicist and HBO’s publicist. I’m tired of being yours, but not being yours.”  
  
Oh, so there was the crux of the matter.  
  
“Benny, I told Kate last night I didn’t like it,” he said. “She seemed pretty pissed… I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of her. Besides, I thought you want me to have my own friends, too.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes. “I do.”  
  
“Just not with her,” he said, perhaps a little too snippy.  
  
She didn’t say anything, merely shaking her head. She moved around for a minute, but couldn’t get comfortable and got out of the bed again, to rearrange.  
  
“Do you want me to call off the whole charade?” he asked. “I will, even though we need it for the movie.”  
  
Benny glared at him. “I love that. ‘I will, even though we need it for the movie’. God save me from hypocrisy.”  
  
Alex could feel his anger rising, and though he had been preparing for the first big fight they’d have, it didn’t do anything to cool him down. And that meant he was going to say some things he’d regret, even if he knew better. “You’re calling _me_ a hypocrite? Aren’t you the one who wants all this to stay a secret for as long as possible? Now I’ve created a cover story that you asked for, and you’re getting all crazy about Kate when all we’ve done is hung out a few times.”  
  
“Do you know how many times I’ve heard this shit before?” Benny exclaimed. “How many times I had to listen to JC say the exact same thing to me?”  
  
He scoffed. “You know I’m not like him!”  
  
“Do I?” Benny asked. “I don’t really know all that much about you in a relationship, now do I?”  
  
The words coming from her mouth didn’t make any sense to him, and it took him a moment longer than it probably should have to understand it. “What the fuck, Benny? I’ve completely rearranged my life for us. Despite everything else, I think that’s a damn good display of what I think about this relationship. Wouldn’t it be nice for you to do some bending in some areas, too?”  
  
“Oh, that’s nice. You ‘rearranged’,” Benny said, fluffing the pillow on the bed, beating it with a fist.  
  
“What’s wrong with you, Benny? It’s like some alien crawled inside you and hijacked the Benny I love,” he said.  
  
Benny sniffed and rolled her eyes.  
  
When she didn’t say anything else, he grew uncomfortable with the heavy silence in the room. So he spoke again. “I like Kate and I’m not going to stop being a friend because you’re jealous.”  
  
“Even though you said yourself she wants more?” Benny accused. “Don’t look at me and tell me for one minute that you don’t find her attractive.”  
  
“Of course she’s not unattractive,” he said without thinking.  
  
“A-ha! See what I mean? You’ve thought about it!”  
  
Alex shook his head. “But that doesn’t mean I feel the same way about her that I do for you! Benny, I simulated sex with her for a movie. What the hell do you want? I had to get in a certain frame of mind for that.”  
  
Benny beat the pillow again. “Lovely. Are you going to keep reminding me what you had to do with her in the movie? That doesn’t help your case.”  
  
He groaned loudly, clenching his fists and screwing his eyes shut. How could his normally completely level-headed wife be so insecure and moody? He didn’t even know what had started it today. She had seemed perfectly fine this morning when she left work.  
  
“Look, I just can’t get out of it now,” he said. “She’ll be busy filming a movie for the next month or so… you won’t have to worry about her.”  
  
“Great,” Benny said flatly.  
  
“You agreed to this, Benny,” he reminded.  
  
Benny sighed heavily, turning her back to him and climbing in the large bed. She angrily adjusted the pillows again, and pulled the covers up to her chest.   
  
“Kate’s a nice girl. You might actually like her if you got to know her,” he said.  
  
“Whatever,” Benny said.  
  
“Are you going to say anything else to me that’s not one word?” he asked.  
  
Benny stopped her adjusting and met his eyes, her left brow rising in a challenging manner. “No.”  
  
“Wonderful,” he replied and groaned again. “I’m going downstairs to watch TV.”  
  
“Fine,” she said, reaching over and flicking off her bedside lamp. She turned over, her back to him.  
  
Realizing that the argument was effectively done, he clenched his fists one more time and left the bedroom. He wanted to punch something. How could she be so amazing and so exasperating at the same time? How could he love her so much, but also want to knock some sense into her? Never before had he felt so emotionally torn up after an argument with his significant other. Oh, sure, he’d had his fights before, but this had hurt him more than he dared recognize.  
  
It hurt him because she obviously still didn’t trust him as implicitly as he had hoped. That she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  
  
And what pissed him off was the fact that she was the one that had pretty much wanted this diversion. They had talked about the paparazzi thing at length while in London. She said she didn’t want to get involved with it. He told her he would respect that, and he knew they would be fine going places and not being caught by them.   
  
But she also had to understand there was another very real flipside to this story: he had a public persona to maintain and Kate helped him with that. He didn’t go out with Kate to hurt Benny, or to cheat on Benny. He went out with Kate because his publicist and everyone else around him told him he needed to maintain a public image to continue growing his career.  
  
He _had_ to continue growing his career so he could give Benny and Harrison the life he wanted to provide for them. He wanted to make sure neither of them ever wanted for anything again in their life. It was how he was raised. He was the provider.  
  
Kate was merely a means to an end for now, besides the fact that he did like her and had developed a friendship with her while they had been filming. He wasn’t just going to forget about Kate because Benny was jealous. He knew Kate wanted more from him, and he thought he’d done a pretty fair job of explaining to her clearly that he was never going to look at her like that.  
  
Ever.  
  
Though he liked Kate, she couldn’t hold a torch to Benny and what Benny meant to him. Kate would realize that eventually, but until then, he would maintain his distance.  
  
However, maintaining that public figure would be a little more difficult, especially if Benny never wanted to go out with him. He’d have to find some way to be a social butterfly, but not do something to cause more fights like the one they’d just had.  
  
Or maybe after a good night’s sleep, her crankiness would end and this would all just blow over by tomorrow morning.  
  
As he flopped down onto the couch in front of the television in the family room, he laughed at himself. He knew better than that. It was wishful thinking, and nothing more.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 10  
  
Alexander woke a few days later to the sounds of pots and pans banging together loudly enough that he could distinguish the sound all way in the guest bedroom upstairs. He lay still for a second, trying to talk himself into getting out of bed and facing another day of the cold shoulder Benny had been giving him. Walking on eggshells around her for fear she would jump down his throat again had been nerve-racking and tiring, and he really wished Benny’s mood would go away. But it appeared she was a champion grudge-holder.  
  
“Harrison Stephan Cowan, come eat your breakfast!” Benny yelled. “NOW!”  
  
Yeah. Benny definitely hadn’t gotten happier since their argument earlier in the week, if her tone of voice and annoyance with Harrison not eating his breakfast was any indication. He had thought the argument would blow over quickly; but it hadn’t. Instead it seemed to have festered a bit with her, made worse by the stress she was under trying to get wardrobe ready for the new season that would start filming next week.  
  
“No! No Thomas the Tank,” Benny said. “Breakfast.”  
  
“But Mommy!” Harry cried. Well, at least he wasn’t the only one in the house who was flummoxed by her attitude.  
  
Alex conceded defeat and threw his legs over the bed, standing up carefully and letting a few joints pop. He couldn’t wait to be allowed admittance back into his own bed.   
  
He left the guest room and walked down the hallway to the top of the stairs, the smells from the kitchen finally hitting him. Whatever was going on, at least something smelled delicious. His stomach did a fair job of reminding him that he needed breakfast as well.  
  
He went down the stairs and came into the kitchen to find Benny covered in flour and measuring out equal mounds of what looked like dough. In all the time he had known her, he couldn’t remember a time when she had cooked for him, much less baked. Frankly, he didn’t even know she could.  
  
“What are you making?” he asked.  
  
“Pie,” she replied shortly.  
  
“Why?”  
  
Benny stopped and looked up at him as though he was an idiot. “It’s Thanksgiving… we eat pies on Thanksgiving.”  
  
“Oh…” he said, thinking her words through. “How many are you planning on making?”  
  
“Five,” she said. “Apple, cherry, chocolate, pecan and pumpkin.”  
  
“Why so much?”   
  
Benny sighed. “Because my parents have a billion people over to the ranch every year for Thanksgiving. I always make desserts.”  
  
“We’re going to the ranch?” he asked. Even though he spent a lot of time with Benny’s parents and Harrison while Benny was in New Zealand, he’d never actually had to drive all the way out to their ranch a few hours away.  
  
“Yes. And we’re going to be a happy family, too,” she said, the threat evident in her voice.  
  
“Okay,” he replied cautiously. “Are you going to get over whatever caused this attitude thing?”  
  
Her sharpness of her glare would have cut him had it been a sword. “Look, I’ll get over it. I’m just having a really minor adjustment with everything.”  
  
“Everyone is,” he mumbled.  
  
“Are you just going to stand there?” she asked.  
  
“Uh, no…” he said. “I came to procure breakfast.”  
  
Benny sighed. “I fried up some bacon and eggs for Harry. Do you want some? I can do it really quickly.”  
  
Alex let out a breath then, realizing that if she were truly angry with him, she would not have offered to make him breakfast. Maybe this was just how she dealt with stress of this magnitude and it would be something he would have to watch out for as they continued living together.  
  
“No, it’s okay, I can do it,” he said.  
  
Benny nodded, and turned her attention back to the pie crusts. She started rolling the discs of dough out onto the wax paper, laying them very carefully into each of the pie tins out on the counter.  
  
“We have to be out of here by noon,” she said, as she pinched the edge of one pie crust. “Dinner is at four, and we’re going to pray that the traffic isn’t bad on the way out.”  
  
“Were you ever going to tell me about these plans?” he asked.  
  
Benny harrumphed. “Aren’t I telling you about them now?”  
  
“I guess,” he replied.  
  
“If you have something better to do, then go ahead and do it,” she replied. “Harry and I are going to my parents.”  
  
He shook his head. “No. I want to go with you. It just would have been nice to be prepared for this.”  
  
Benny didn’t reply and walked over to the dual ovens with three complete pie crusts. She stuck them in the oven and set the timer. “Also, you need to pack a bag. We’ll be there until Saturday at the earliest.”  
  
“Why?” he asked.  
  
“On Friday morning, we put Christmas decorations up. And then that night we have Thanksgiving over again with all the leftovers,” she replied. “And other family time festivities.”  
  
Alexander nodded. “You going to tell me about Christmas-time things so I can plan for those now?”  
  
“We’re doing this whole she-bang now because we’re going to Sweden for Christmas,” she replied.  
  
He turned around from where he was peering into the refrigerator to look at her seriously. “What? I thought you said you wanted to stay here.”  
  
“I do,” she said, “but that’s not very fair of me. And I miss your family… even your dad. Harry needs to meet them all. I got the legal paperwork finally from JC so he can go with us.”  
  
Alexander grinned and walked over to her, pulling her in his arms. She was resistant for a moment, but finally relaxed in his arms and wrapped her own arms around him. They stayed liked this for some time, squeezing each other. Really, two days had been too long to go without having this. It boggled his mind how he had gone five months without it.  
  
“Thank you,” he said.  
  
“Don’t thank me. It’s one of those things we have to compromise on,” she said. “And I know you haven’t been able to spend Christmas with your family in a long time, so since we have the opportunity, we should do it now.”  
  
His kissed the top of her head, breathing in the light fruity scent left by her shampoo. “I’ll make the plane reservations.”  
  
“Okay,” she said softly. Silence passed between them as neither seemed willing to leave each other’s arms. “I’m sorry, Alex, about the fight. I know I agreed to doing what we’re doing, I just got really stressed and it was one of my more vulnerable moments. It bottled up.”  
  
“I’m sorry, too, Benny, for having to have this sort of arrangement in my life,” he said. “I want nothing more than to take you everywhere with me and show you off to the paparazzi. Believe it or not, I want everyone to know I’ve found that one other person in my life that makes it all better… we just can’t do it right now. It’s not the right time.”  
  
Benny sighed and pushed away from him, turning back to her pie crusts that still needed to be made. “I know it’s not the right time. I just had a little breakdown over everything. I’m better now, even though I still don’t feel well. I really think it’s just stress.”  
  
“Well, then tell me what _I_ need to do to make it better for you,” he said. “I will do everything in my power to make it better.”  
  
She paused and turned to glance at him. “You can’t do anything right now.”  
  
“There’s got to be something,” he said.  
  
Benny shook her head. “No. Not now. I think the only thing you can do right now is understand I need time to get comfortable with this situation. We haven’t even been together for a year yet and already our relationship has been tested to its limits in so many ways—and I’ve never fully adjusted to anything. Now that I’m back with you, and we’re living together, it’s definitely a learning curve.”  
  
“No kidding,” he said. “But we’re good?”  
  
“We’re good,” she said.  
  
He leaned over and kissed her lips. At least he felt a little bit better about their situation now. Even if he knew that this wasn’t the end to this being a problem for them, especially with the knowledge that this could very well be the issue that might eventually end their relationship. The fact that he couldn’t even begin to stop it aggravated him.  
  
The dinger from the oven interrupted his thoughts and Benny pushed back from him, walking back to the oven. She pulled the perfectly cooked pie crusts from the oven and placed them on the cooling rack.  
  
“Would you do me a huge favor?” she asked.  
  
“What?” he asked.  
  
“Pack a bag for Harry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to get such a late start this morning, but now I’m behind on these pies.”  
  
“I think I can do that,” he replied.  
  
Benny nodded. “He needs at least two outfits a day, and you should probably just go ahead and pack for all day Saturday and to come home Sunday. My parents have some of his clothes, but I don’t know if they’ll fit him… he’s growing so much.”  
  
“Okay,” Alex said. “I can do that. Hey, Harry, you want to help me go pick out clothes to take?”  
  
“Yeah!” Harry said, jumping down from his booster seat at the table.  
  
Alex looked at Benny. “Should I pack a bag for you?”  
  
Benny laughed and licked a bit of cherry pie filling from her thumb. Alex held back a moan from escaping. It wasn’t even a suggestive lick, but seeing her do it was maddening.   
  
“Uh, no, I’ll pack my own stuff, thanks,” she said. “If you packed it, I wouldn’t be able to leave the bedroom because all my clothes would be lingerie or the skimpiest things I own.”  
  
“Let’s be honest. If I packed for you, there wouldn’t be any need to take suitcases,” he said with a grin.  
  
She giggled. “Get out of my hair. I have to get these finished.”  
  
Alex laughed and picked up Harry, and as he walked by her, he pinched her butt playfully. She yipped and whirled on him, but he was already out of her grasp. As he walked out of the kitchen, he heard her call, “You’ll pay for that!”  
  
“I can’t wait!” he yelled back.  
  
\-----  
  
“Turn right here,” Benny directed as they turned down another empty road flanked by big fields, green desert trees and a beautiful view of the mountains. She always loved coming out to her parents’ ranch, because it was always so peaceful after having spent time in the hectic urban areas of Los Angeles. She would savor the next few days of solitude being out in the middle of nowhere.  
  
She looked over at Alex and let out a long, cleansing breath. It would be good for them, too, after the fight they had to be out here together. They needed to regroup after the trying week they’d both been through. But she was glad that this first fight was over… they’d not had one yet, and she knew that any healthy relationship needed to have a couple misunderstandings. Sure, nothing had really been solved, but she knew that solving these problems wouldn’t happen overnight. It would take time to find the right combination of her staying out of the press and letting Alex have his public life—a public life he needed to maintain for appearance’s sake.  
  
Despite there being some real problems ahead of them, Benny knew that she was perhaps a little too sensitive about the time he would be spending with Kate. Up until now, nothing had happened. He had come home every night he’d gone out and fallen asleep beside her. That was what mattered. He wasn’t out tomcatting around Hollywood.  
  
“You didn’t tell me it was like this.” Alex clearly had not expected the large house and extensive, manicured land surrounding it and the barn structures.  
  
“What did you expect? A rundown barn and a little shack?” Benny asked. “My parents aren’t hurting for money, no, but they aren’t rich. This is all part of their business, too.”  
  
Alex pulled past the wrought iron gate that had been propped open for all the guests that would be there, and drove the car down the gravel path, looking around him. “Eija is going to flip out when she sees this. She’ll want to move out here.”  
  
“I’m sure my parents would be happy to have a fellow equestrienne.” She laughed. “And I’m sure Jack would love to have her.”  
  
“On second thought,” Alex started.  
  
Benny rolled her eyes. “It’s okay. He talks a lot of game, but he’s a complete dolt around girls. No way Eija would fall for his line of crap.”  
  
“Still,” Alex said, pulling into the paved roundabout at the front of the main house, behind the black Land Rover that read “CHNLLVR”. Joie and Josh had already arrived, as had everyone else apparently. There were a few trailers out in the extended camping area their parents kept for people traveling with horses.  
  
Benny got out of the car after he parked and went around to Harry’s door. She couldn’t believe he was still sleeping, but that also meant he would be wired until late tonight. Lovely. He woke up slowly, and wouldn’t let her carry him.   
  
“Go to the door and get Grandma and Poppy,” she instructed. As she had expected, Harrison went from zero to sixty, knowing he was at his grandparent’s house.  
  
“Uncle Matt!” he squealed noisily.  
  
Benny looked up in time to see the front door open and people start to spill out onto the front porch… people she didn’t think would be here, and people she knew that would give Alex a hard time of it.  
  
“What the hell are you doing here?” Benny asked, heading to the front door where the other incredibly large man in her life stood with his wife and kids. Her Uncle Matt and Aunt Kristin, while not blood relations, had practically raised her on the circuit when her parents weren’t around. But they called Georgia home, and their extended family lived in Pennsylvania. They never came to California for Thanksgiving.  
  
“Can’t we come spend Thanksgiving with your family?” Matt asked, mockingly offended. He pulled her into his arms in a big bear hug. “Besides, we’ve got some sizing up to do.”  
  
He nodded toward Alex, who was hanging back, unsure of what to do.  
  
Benny waved him up. Alex joined her as she worked her way down the line, hugging everyone else.  
  
“Okay, I’m doing this once,” she said. “Everyone, this is Alex. Alex, from the end of the line down: That’s Joel. The one with the dazed look is Joe, but you probably recognize him from when you came out to faire. Then there’s Lee.”  
  
Lee narrowed his eyes as though he was warning Alex.  
  
“And then there’s my uncle Matt,” she pointed to the very tall man with graying-black curly hair. “His much better half, Kristin, and their kids: Savannah, Garrett and Colton.”  
  
Alex shook hands, and after all the awkwardness had been done, Benny sighed. “Okay, boys, I’ve got like dessert vomit in the back of the car. You better go save them before they go bad.”  
  
The magic word had been said, and everyone available went to the car to relieve it of its desserts. Benny giggled and shook her head. “And don’t forget our bags!”  
  
“I’ll go help them out,” Alex said.  
  
“Okay,” she said, kissing him lightly. Benny sighed and turned to Kristin and Savannah. “So where’s Mom and Dad?”  
  
“Your dad’s out back,” Kristin said, “with Josh, fussing over the deep fryer, congratulating each other on being masters of the universe. Meanwhile, Joie is sitting by the oven while her green bean casserole cooks. And your mom is doing her usual running around like a mad woman, refusing to let anyone help her with the last details.”  
  
Benny laughed. “How was everyone else pulled away from standing around the fryer?”  
  
It was almost a past time for their family and all the male guests to congregate around the big metal pot out in the pasture, and watch the turkey fry in the oil.   
  
“Are you kidding, the topic of conversation is that handsome new addition to the family,” Kristin said. “I was told pretty forcefully by your uncle that we would be coming here for Thanksgiving because he had to decide if he was right for you.”  
  
Benny glanced at Savannah. “And on that note, how’s the dating life, Sav?”  
  
The fourteen-year-old blushed. “What dating? Daddy’s scared them all away.”  
  
“Of course he has,” Benny said. “Because he’s overprotective. And really, look at him. He’d scare anyone away.”  
  
They all turned to glance back at the group of men at the car, all still doing the masculine posturing over the poor female in question. Though she was that poor female, she still found it stupid. And utterly charming at the same time. It truly was good to know she had so any people who cared about her.  
  
“Yeah, you’re right about that,” Kristin said with a laugh. “Let’s go inside and let the boys do their thing.”  
  
Benny nodded and followed her aunt and Savannah into the house. She paused for a moment as she stepped inside and turned to glance back at the men surrounding the gray Audi, apparently giving Alex the run down. And Alex took all of it like a pro. One of these days, he would realize that she so wasn’t worth it.  
  
But she would cross her fingers that day wasn’t for a very long time.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 11  
  
Alexander leaned back in the cushiony couch outside on the patio, warmed by the small fire in the fire pit and feeling genuinely uncomfortable. Not because of the company he was in, but more because he had gorged himself stupid on the multitude of food that had been prepared for the meal this evening.  
  
The tradition of Thanksgiving was nothing new to him, as he had been in the States long enough to have been witness to American tradition, but he had always encountered the celebration through the eyes of hipsters and extremely wealthy people in the posh Los Angeles areas where the people hosting the event spent gobs of money on it, usually including a personal chef or catering company to come in and do it.  
  
This was different. All of the food here had been prepared by the laughing people sitting around the fire, from scratch, and with heaps of love. The table had been set by the kids, instead of some fancy butler or wait staff.   
  
The most startling contrast from his previous Thanksgiving experiences was the feeling of family here. Even though they really weren’t that far from LA, he definitely got a different feeling being around Benny’s family and friends out of the city. No one was as self important as they were in LA. No one cared about the car he drove, what kind of money was in his bank account, or who he slept with.  
  
Okay, so a few of Benny’s “uncles” had a care in who she slept with, but not in the same way those people in Hollywood did. They cared for the simple fact that they loved Benny and Harrison and didn’t want to see her get hurt.  
  
Being a part of this togetherness allowed him to relax. First because he felt as though he was fitting into Benny’s family, even with the reservations some of the people still had of him, but secondly because it felt like home. Home away from home, actually. He missed his family back in Sweden terribly, but being a part of this, and with a family who obviously loved each other even in spite of the boatload of problems everyone had, soothed him.  
  
It also made him glad he’d found a girl who had come from this type of background. He knew that the person he spent the rest of his life with would have to come from this, even if her parents had been divorced. With the suddenness of their own non-marriage marriage in Vegas, he’d never actually stopped to consider the fact that Benny might not have this type of family. But as luck had it, she did.  
  
Benny yawned into the back of her hand and curled herself into a tinier ball beside him, her other hand that rested on his shoulder slipping to the nape of his neck. Her fingers played absently with the short hair there, as she listened to the conversations going on around them. He glanced down at her and she smiled lazily, craning her head up to kiss his chin.  
  
At least they were back to this. No more of that fighting. He hated fighting, and he’d hated the cold shoulder even more.  
  
He rubbed her lower back where his hand lay wrapped around her as he slid the cold tips of fingers in the waistband of her pants. She let out a low yip at the feeling, but adjusted quickly when a few others turned to look at them.  
  
She giggled and snuggled closer to him. Her warm breath played across his ear. “Meet me in my bedroom upstairs in ten minutes.”  
  
The seductive words filtered through his brain and jolted to his cock, making him hard. She had to be trying to kill him or embarrass him. She’d probably end up succeeding at both.  
  
Benny removed herself from his hold and stood from the couch, stretching her arms over her head and yawning again. “I’m going to go check on Harry.”  
  
Alex watched her saunter out of sight before turning back to look at the people around him. Lee looked at him and huffed in an annoyed manner before he reengaged himself in the game of poker he had going with Jack and Matt’s young boys. Alex rolled his eyes and pulled the cell phone from his pocket, checking the time.  
  
He tried to interest himself in the conversations going on around him again, but he found himself glued to the clock on the iPhone, checking every few seconds despite the fact that it had not moved. There was nothing else that he wanted more right now than to fuck his fiancée and the waiting was agonizing. Would it really matter, after all, if he was up there earlier? He knew Harrison was asleep in Jack’s room.  
  
As secretly as a six-foot-four man can get up from a couch and disappear into the house, he did. He wasn’t sure how successful he’d been though when he entered the house through the arcadia door and passed Steve.  
  
Steve merely raised his brow at him and just shook his head, continuing on his way. Alex navigated through the surprisingly large house, up the stairs and down the hallway toward the room he had briefly seen when he’d put their luggage in it earlier. He knocked lightly on the door and stepped inside.  
  
The utter absurdity of the pinkness of the room gave him pause. Though it was apparent the room had been updated since Benny was a little girl, the room apparently hadn’t changed much since her teen years. These teen years were apparently punctuated by a disturbing amount of pink and an unnatural fascination with boy bands. He didn’t much relish the fact that their eyes would be peering at him from the posters and magazine clippings she had on her walls while he made love to her, but he supposed he would have to make a concession.  
  
And he’d eventually have quite a story to tell any of these singers if he ever had the opportunity to meet them.  
  
On his perusal of the room, he realized Benny wasn’t there. But as he listened, he realized she was in the connected bathroom, by the sounds of the water running in the sink. She stepped out of the bathroom then, pulling her sweater over her head.  
  
She stopped and looked at him; he took the moment to gaze over her body again. Though he had thought her body was perfect when he had first met with her, since she had come back from New Zealand with this newer, slightly svelter body, he couldn’t get over the transformation. He also couldn’t get over the fact that he actually preferred the before more than the after on her.  
  
But how did he tell her that without making it sound bad, especially when it didn’t matter what she looked like, because he would still be in a constant state of arousal around her.  
  
Well, in most cases in a constant state of arousal, anyway. When they were fighting, that was another thing all together.  
  
“Are you just going to stand there?” she asked, walking to him. Her hands were on the waist of his jeans, undoing the button and zipper. Before he could think, the glorious feeling of her soft hands on his erection made him moan loudly. She giggled, but didn’t cease her stroking. “We won’t have much time… my mom was putting in a few of the pies to heat up in the oven.”  
  
“I don’t think a time constraint will be a problem,” he muttered, stepping back and scooping her up in his arms.  
  
She let out a peal of laughter that was a little loud, but he didn’t care. It was quickly forgotten, just as the eyes peering down at him from the posters on the wall were.  
  
\---  
  
Jack frowned, tossing his hand of cards at the table angrily. “Jesus Christ, I can’t take it anymore!”  
  
“Can’t take what?” Lee asked. “The fact that I’m winning and you’re losing?”  
  
“No!” Jack exclaimed. “Well, yes, but that’s not what I meant. Don’t tell me you don’t hear it… hear Benny upstairs.”  
  
Lee cleared his throat and the tips of his ears tinged pink slightly. Of all the people to be squeamish about such things, Jack had never expected Lee to be that person.  
  
“Oh, hush,” Joie called. “At least they’re doing that instead of fighting.”  
  
“That’s true,” Josh said. “It could be worse. It could be JC and Benny fighting and snipping at each other over Thanksgiving like it was three years ago.”  
  
“Of course that’s better,” Jack said. “But do we have to listen to this? Haven’t eighteen years of listening to Mom and Dad been enough penance for whatever crime I committed to be subjected to this?”  
  
“You’re just angry you aren’t getting any,” Matt piped up.  
  
“We aren’t that loud,” his father said.  
  
Joie was the first to answer. “You really are, Steve. There were tons of nights I had to go to sleep with the noise canceling headphones on.”  
  
Jack grumbled and shuffled the playing cards for the new hand. “See?!”  
  
Steve shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”  
  
“Ride the stallion, ride the stallion!” Matt said. “Does that sound familiar to you at all?”  
  
Trish giggled into her drink, but didn’t say anything.  
  
“Why didn’t you make me shut up?” Steve questioned her.  
  
“Because,” she replied. “You were having so much fun…”  
  
“Oh my god!” Jack grimaced. “Mo-om… did you really have to say that?”  
  
Joie laughed. “It’s okay. I got over it. It was good to know that two people loved each other as much as you two did… all the time… even when you were angry about something.”  
  
“Yeah, you think it’s all rainbows and hearts,” Jack said. “Do you know what it’s done to me? I’ll never be able to wash it from my memory!”  
  
“What? Like when you were ‘dating’ Amy in Carolina?” Matt said. “I’m scarred for life after hearing _that_.”  
  
Jack scoffed. “Yes, but I’m young and I should be loud and obnoxious.”  
  
Trish rolled her eyes and chuckled. “It only gets better as you get older, honey.”  
  
“MOM!” Jack said, pressing his fingers into his ears and singing loudly.  
  
When he finally removed his fingers, it was punctuated by the crescendo of activity upstairs, coming out of the open window.  
  
Steve grumbled. “Okay, that’s just wrong. That’s my baby girl up there.”  
  
“Your baby girl is thirty years old and has a child,” Trish reminded. “I think we need to stop worrying about it.”  
  
“But why did they have to share this experience with everyone?” Joe piped up from his spot in front of the television, watching the football game.  
  
Trish sighed. “I thought she’d notice the window was open in her room. I always open it up to let it air out if she hasn’t stayed here in awhile.”  
  
“Well, she didn’t,” Jack whined. “This is wrong… and it’s going to wake Harry up.”  
  
“They’ve got to do it sometime,” Josh replied. “And since the time they have is when they have Harry or when they’re at work, there’s a very small window of opportunity.”  
  
“Or maybe they should just stop having sex all together,” Jack said.  
  
Kristin laughed. “Have you _seen_ that man she’s with? Yeah, no woman in her right mind would do that.”  
  
“Hey!” Matt frowned.  
  
“Oh, hush up,” she replied. “You know I like tall guys… but he’s too blond for me.”  
  
“Okay, ew!” Jack said.   
  
“And to be fair,” Lee added, “have you seen Benny? She’s hot.”  
  
“Of course she is,” Steve said. “But I’d like to remind you that she’s my daughter, keep your comments to a minimum.”  
  
Trish chuckled. “You still haven’t figured it out, have you?”  
  
“Figured what out?” Steve asked.  
  
Trish rolled her eyes. “About Lee and Benny.”  
  
“What about Lee and Benny?” Steve asked, his eyes narrowing.  
  
“Come on. Do we really have to bring this up now?” Lee asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.  
  
“It’s all your fault for bringing up Benny, buddy,” Matt said.  
  
Steve looked at Lee. “What don’t I know about you two?”  
  
“You remember that month in Bristol where you kept trying to figure out who Benny was dating?” Joe asked. “Well, you have your answer.”  
  
“What?!” Steve asked. “You know it’s against company policy to date the boss’ daughter!”  
  
Lee shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. “If it makes you feel any better, we both decided we were better friends than lovers.”  
  
“Lovers? She was sixteen!” Steve said.  
  
“Oh, calm down,” Trish said. “They were kids. They experimented. At least it was with him… and not like Joe or Bill or something.”  
  
“Why are we even talking about it?” Jack said. “This is even more information about my sister I didn’t need to know… and oh, by the way, Lee, you and I are going to have words.”  
  
Lee held his hands up defensively, but mocked Jack. “Oh, I’m so scared. What are you going to do to me boy? Run and tell your mommy? She already knows and she was okay with me laying your sister.”  
  
Jack opened his mouth to reply, but stopped when the side door opened up and out stepped his sister and future brother-in-law both looking rosy-cheeked and pleased as punch. It sickened him.  
  
“How’s Harry?” Joie asked, with a knowing grin.  
  
“He’s fine,” Benny asked. “Why?”  
  
“Well, you said you were going to check on Harry,” Joie replied. “It took a little while.”  
  
Benny sighed. “You all heard, didn’t you?”  
  
No one voiced their confirmation, but it was clear they had.   
  
Benny giggled. “It’s okay. I’m just carrying on the family tradition of loudness.”  
  
“Good God! Can we please stop talking about how loud I am?” Steve asked. “I get it. Everyone knows my sexual exploits. Lovely.”  
  
Benny smiled. “Don’t worry, Daddy. We still love you… well, not as much as mom, but hey…”  
  
Alex, who had remained silent until then spoke up. “Your family is so odd.”  
  
“So is yours,” Benny replied. “Now sit down.”  
  
Once they were settled back into their spot on the couch, everyone fell back into an easy conversation, though Jack still couldn’t get the sounds out of his head of his sister and Alex. But finally, after a little while, Joie cleared her throat and spoke up again.  
  
“With all of this discussion about sex, I think it’s an appropriate time to make an announcement,” Joie said.  
  
Jack turned to look at his adopted sister and Josh.  
  
“We’re about three and a half months pregnant,” Joie said.  
  
The amount of sudden high-pitched squealing of joy from the females around him, made Jack cringe. He listened to the choruses of congratulations and watched as people touched Joie’s barely extended stomach, growing more uncomfortable.  
  
Just lovely, now he’d have to think about Josh and Joie having sex. Oh yes, today was a great day.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12  
  
Benny didn’t know what was worse: being nauseous in a moving vehicle 38,000 feet in the air, or being nauseous in a moving vehicle 38,000 feet in the air with a two-and-a-half year old who had an ear ache, and a fiancé who had passed out soon after taking off from the New York airport.   
  
Harrison was finally resting in her arms, though fitfully, and Alex had a decent excuse—he and everyone else had been working twenty hour days to get the latest episode wrapped in time for those traveling for the holiday to be able to do so. Of course, that also meant she had been there for the majority of those days, but she had assistants and day labor people to stay and help. Alex had to be on set all the time, until they needed him.  
  
Though she was less exhausted, she still felt uncomfortable and nauseous up here. At least Harrison being fussy meant she could take her mind off of the fact that she had at least six more hours of this plane ride.   
  
She’d had motion sickness for as long as she could remember. Usually, she took pills to make her pass out on long plane rides, and it wasn’t bad if she sat in the front seat of a car. But running around like a crazy woman as she had the past twenty-four hours packing herself, Harry and some for Alex, she’d completely forgotten that her bottle of Dramamine had been emptied on her trip home from England with Alex last month. She hadn’t realized it until they were already in the air.  
  
After that, Harry’s ears bothered him more, so she just didn’t get around to asking if the flight crew had any. Benny lay back in her seat, rubbing Harry’s back as he snoozed against her. Luckily, his ever-increasing weight placed pressure on her belly and settled some of her stomach issues. But he’d have to be returned to his own seat if she was ever going to attempt to sleep on the flight.  
  
Hopefully the Benadryl kicked in soon and he would be out like his step-father.  
  
The flight attendant came by then and leaned over the row. “May I get you anything, ma’am?”  
  
“Ginger ale,” Benny said.  
  
The attendant nodded and disappeared to go pour a cup of ginger ale. Hopefully that would help her stomach. It always helped when she was feeling this way. A few seconds later, the attendant returned with her drink.  
  
Benny sipped it for a few minutes before yawning into her hand and closing her eyes, listening to the hum of the plane engines, letting them lull her into a bit of peace.  
  
She was nervous about this trip to Sweden, as it was only her second time being with his family. And this time, they presumably still had some say over whether Alex married her or not. Last time, they were stuck. Now Stellan would have free reign to do his level best at ending the relationship. And with the addition of a brand new grandson—and his first!—it posed a potential problem for everyone.  
  
At least her family had accepted Alex as one of their own relatively easily. After the initial pissing contests had concluded with Alex getting on a horse, and summarily being knocked off of it, everything had evened out. They’d all shared a laugh and became a bit closer, which eased her mind a great deal.  
  
As did the decision she and Alex had made together to have the wedding out at the ranch. It was far enough away from Hollywood that it would be out of the media spotlight, but close enough that most of their friends that would come from LA would be able to do a turnaround trip if they so wanted. What surprised her most about the decision was that Alex had come to the conclusion that this was the best place for the wedding. After a few stunned moments of silence, she’d jumped on him and showed him just how happy she was that he’d suggested it. But then, she made sure it was okay with him that it wasn’t happening in Sweden. He’d just replied that they could come out to California if they wanted instead of him having to always go to them—this was his life now, so they’d just have to deal with it. How Stellan and the rest of his family would handle that decision, only time would tell, but they had made it.   
  
And it made the impending marriage even more real, which excited her beyond belief. Now that the initial Kate hiccup had been dealt with, she could focus on her own relationship with Alex. She knew his and Kate’s friendship wasn’t over, nor was it even close to being so in relation to their press for the movie, but it gave her some peace to know that Alex was moving forward with the wedding plans. If he had stalled, then she would have questioned his intentions and his feelings for others like Kate.  
  
Benny yawned again, feeling the heaviness of slumber begin to overtake her body. She roused herself just enough to maneuver Harry into his own seat. The child slept on with his stuffed horse wrapped in his arms. She kissed his head and then settled back into her seat, looking to her left at Alex, who was still snoozing. She laughed and leaned back, closing her eyes.   
  
Her worrying would have to wait for now. She was with two people she loved more than anything else in the world. She felt safe. She felt loved.  
  
And sleep beckoned.  
  
\----  
  
Stellan looked up from his script when he heard a car door shut outside the window beside him, but it was only the house next door.  
  
He’d waited anxiously all day by this very window for Alexander and Benny to arrive and had almost volunteered to drive to the airport to pick them up, but Gurra had already headed up that way. Of course, he wouldn’t admit that he’d been waiting for them when people passed by him. He just told them that he wanted the best light to read by. Megan had just rolled her eyes and laughed at him, continuing on with tidying up the house.  
  
But he was excited to have Alexander back, and if he were being honest, to have Benny here as well. Despite his feelings about her after they first met, he’d been charmed by the frankness and no-nonsense attitude she displayed in her life. He was a firm believer that those qualities got people far in life, and he was happy that she had them. They would be good for Alexander, too, because he could be a dreamer at times and needed a stern, if loving, smack every once and awhile to keep his head on straight.  
  
Most of all, he was excited to meet his grandson. Lord, even admitting that made him feel much older than he really was. All Alexander ever talked about any more was the baby, or about Benny... or about his life... and it made Stellan feel left out of the madness. He knew Alexander needed to live his own life, but being halfway across the world from each other was prohibiting any chance of Stellan really being a part of it. Stellan planned on taking many trips out to California to visit, but he refused to move there. Sweden was his home. Which meant he’d be left to video chats or telephone calls most of the time, so when he’d actually get to spend time with them in person made him excited and moments he cherished.  
  
But he’d never admit that, either. He had a persona to maintain, after all. His family couldn’t think he was going soft or he’d lose his position of power.  
  
Well, that’s what he tried to convince himself of, anyway.  
  
He placed his marker in the script and closed it, looking out the window again when he heard another car, this time the wheels crunching on the freshly-fallen snow. Benny sat in the front seat with Gurra. Alexander unfolded himself from the tiny backseat and stretched his arms over his head, Benny doing the same.  
  
She looked good, if a little tired. But so did Alexander.  
  
Alexander reached into the car and a moment later, extracted a laughing toddler. Harrison giggled as Alexander fought with him to adjust the big snow jacket he’d obviously been forced into and didn’t want to wear. However, Alexander kept a reasonably cool head, accomplishing his task easily. But then he let go of Harry for one minute and the kid was off, running to the other end of the driveway, sliding to a stop into a mound of snow.  
  
“Harrison!” Benny scolded, following after him.  
  
Stellan laughed at the toddler. Oh, he remembered those days of his children being balls of energy. He did not really enjoy the fact that he’d have to deal with it again with Ossian soon. Already his youngest son was mobile and caused enough headaches.  
He sighed and stood from his chair as Megan passed by him, pulling on her coat as she went. Stellan was glad she’d got on so well with Benny. Megan needed alliances like this in the family, especially with as tenuous as her own position in it was. But everything would work out eventually… for everyone.  
  
After a moment, he walked to put on his own coat and stepped outside the front door. Alex had grabbed Harrison up again and slung him over his shoulder, tickling Harrison’s sides. The child let out a peal of laughter.  
  
The laughter was infectious and Stellan could not keep the grin off his face.  
  
“Stop smiling,” said a voice beside him. “Someone might think you’re actually glad to see us.”  
  
He looked down at the small woman beside him. “But I am glad to see you all.”  
  
Benny chuckled. “At least someone is. We’re a two man wrecking crew where those two are concerned.” She pointed her thumb at Alexander and Harrison.  
  
“Try having six of them. At once,” Stellan said. “Then you’ll know insanity.”  
  
Alexander stepped over and handed Benny the toddler, then hugged him in greeting. “Alright, we’re here. When’s the smorgasbord?”  
  
“In a little while,” Megan laughed.  
  
“Mommy, who that?” Harrison piped up, pointing to him.  
  
Benny smiled. “That is your Grandpa Stellan. Like Poppy.”  
  
Harrison looked at him again, his wide blue eyes meeting his. “You like my poppy?”  
  
“Just nod,” Alexander instructed.  
  
“I am,” Stellan said.  
  
“Do you have horsies like Poppy and Gamma?” Harrison asked.  
  
Stellan laughed. Alexander had explained Harrison’s fascination with horses. “I do, but not as many.”  
  
“Oh!” Harrison said, nodding his head. “Okay.”  
  
The toddler curled up into his mom’s arms, acting shy. Benny shook her head. “He’ll get better. I think this is all just a little overwhelming for him.”  
  
“I think it’s all a little overwhelming for everyone,” Megan replied. “Let’s get inside out of this cold, and then we can chat. No sense standing out here in the snow.”  
  
Stellan nodded and led the group into the house, excited for the next few days, but also a little worried that Harrison wouldn’t take to him. But then, Stellan imagined, he probably deserved it after the way he’d treated Benny last time. This was what karma was all about.  
  
But he’d get over it.  
  
He had to.  
  
\---  
  
Alexander sipped his drink and laughed at a story that Bill was in the middle of retelling to him, but he found it difficult to pay attention to the words he heard. Instead, he found himself entranced with the woman across the room, warming herself in front of the large fire, a halo of orange light surrounding her and making it appear as though she were glowing. Certainly, the warmth of the fire that warmed her and the cider she sipped probably caused the blossom in her cheeks, but there was something particularly ethereal about her tonight.  
  
At least it was better than she had been looking, with the stress of her work showing in her face, and a general malaise resulting in a fatigue and illness that had worried him. But now she appeared to be perfectly happy and healthy, for which he was grateful.  
  
He was also inordinately interested in the sudden change of heart his father had in regard to Benny, so much so that he now sat with Benny, talking at length with her. Harrison had finally warmed up to the idea of his new grandfather and had crawled into his lap. It seemed like everything was right and perfect in his world yet again. But he knew better than to jinx himself and say anything about it. There was always something lurking around the corner, waiting to cause trouble.  
  
Things were too peaceful to remain that way. It was just how the universe worked.  
  
He sighed and shook his head. It wasn’t worth worrying about now. He had to enjoy himself and his family as much as he could manage while he still had the chance. January would bring with it an exhausting shooting schedule and an award season that would require him to attend many of the events—because they actually _wanted_ him to attend. And with those events, press would be involved that included Kate.  
  
It spelled a disaster so complete, yet he could barely think of a way to stop it. He’d already committed himself to this for the next few months.  
  
“Can you even repeat anything I just said?” Bill asked, giving him a side-long glance.  
  
Alex looked at him, staring for a moment as he wracked his brain for the subject of the story. But he gave up, shaking his head. “Sorry.”  
  
Bill rolled his eyes. “Man, you’ve got it so freaking bad. It’s really kind of disgusting.”  
  
“Do I?” Alex asked.  
  
“Uh, yeah,” Bill laughed.  
  
Alex felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find Benny standing beside him. She leaned over for one of the treats on the table beside him, but stopped for a moment to kiss him lightly on the lips.  
  
“Ugh,” Bill said and stood up. “I’m going to go find someone who doesn’t have a woman to distract him.”  
  
Benny giggled and popped the small cookie with lingonberry jam on it into her mouth. He waited for her to finish chewing and swallowing before pulling her back to him, kissing her back and tasting the remnants of the jam on her lips.  
  
“Stop,” she said, pushing back. “We’ll cause a scene.”  
  
“I don’t think anyone will care,” he replied.  
  
Benny smacked his shoulder and reached over him again for the cookies. “Sorry, I’m more concerned about these cookies. I’ve had like a million of them tonight.”  
  
“It’s the lingonberries,” he said. “Those are one of my favorites, too.”  
  
“Lingonberries aren’t really my favorite… they’re too sour for me,” she said. “But I love the jam.”  
  
“I’ll buy it in bulk, then,” he replied. “We can get it at IKEA in LA.”  
  
Benny nodded. “I know. I about bought their whole shipment one time. Well, not me, I sent my dad after –.”  
  
She stopped mid-sentence and froze, her mouth snapping shut.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Oh god,” she said softly.  
  
“Oh god… what?” Alex asked. “Are you okay?”  
  
“I’m fine… I just…” she started but stopped again. “It’s nothing. I just remembered… remembered something for work.”  
  
“Here… right now… talking about lingonberries?” he asked skeptically. He’d get the truth out of her eventually. She seemed too flustered for it to be about work.  
  
Benny nodded. “Yeah, it just jogged my memories… the jam, uh, looking like blood, and yeah.”  
  
“You’re lying, and I will work it out of you,” he replied.  
  
“You do that,” she said. “Meanwhile, I’m taking Harry to bed and then going to sleep myself. I didn’t get any sleep on the plane.”  
  
“Okay,” he replied. “I’ll be up in a little bit. My brothers are planning a mutiny if I don’t concentrate on them for at least the length of a drink.”  
  
But he knew without a doubt the last thing he would be concentrating on would be his brothers. No, he’d be more concerned with Benny and how odd she was acting all of a sudden. He’d try to forget about it, though.  
  
For now, at least.  
  
Benny smiled and kissed him quickly, moving back over to where Harry was now sound asleep in Stellan’s arms. After a few moments, she disappeared from the room and up the stairs to their bedroom for this trip.  
  
Something wasn’t right, but she wouldn’t explain it until she was good and ready. That was just Benny. But now he had to go brood over it and a beer with his brothers. He stood from his seat and walked over to the sitting area where they all sat, laughing and speaking freely in Swedish now that the two non-natives were out of the room.  
  
“Finally lost the old lady?” Gurra asked.  
  
“Be nice.”  
  
“Why? Even when she was nowhere around, she monopolized you tonight,” Sam said. “Can we please have some brother time now?”  
  
I’m still bigger than you,” Alex said. “I can still hurt you.”  
  
“I’d like to see you try,” Gurra replied. “Sit down.”  
  
Alexander did just that and propped his legs up on the coffee table in front of him. He’d try to focus on his brothers for a little while. But he knew it was useless until he uncovered the reason behind Benny’s mysteriousness tonight.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 13  
  
My hated working holidays, especially the Christmas holidays. Everyone seemed to just imbibe in a little too much good cheer for her tastes, and the hospital always— _always_ —filled to capacity on these days with idiots on the roads and in their homes, doing stupid things. She’d had just about enough of the alcohol poisonings and car accidents on icy roads for one night, especially when she wanted to get home early and relax for the next three days with her ever-expanding family.  
  
Even having to face Stellan’s thirty-three year old wife wasn’t much of a deterrent for her this season. She was anxious to be with her family, and to spend some quality time with her eldest son, his now soon-to-be wife, her new grandson, and then tomorrow morning, when Benny’s family arrived to surprise her, to meet them and get to know them.  
  
But no. She was stuck being vomited on by a drunk while giving him an exam just to make sure there was nothing else wrong with him other than extreme stupidity... and drunkenness.  
  
She supposed she should be thankful that none of her huge family had shown up at the hospital yet this season from a crazy party. There was always bound to be one Skarsgård who’d had too much fun. At least she had been able to sneak in a hot shower in the locker room to clean up. It had relaxed her enough to face the last hour of her shift without hurting anyone or yelling too much.   
  
My pulled her clean scrub top over her head and pulled on one of the clean lab coats, moving all of her tools from the dirty one into the pockets of the other. With a sigh, she grabbed her stethoscope and headed out to command central, that had seemed to calm down some since she had escaped into the solitude of the locker room.  
  
“So, what’s next, Elin?” My asked as she paused at the pile of charts waiting to be seen.  
  
Elin, the charge nurse on duty, looked up from the computer. “What isn’t? Lucky you getting off in an hour, though.”  
  
“I can’t wait,” My said with a laugh. “I need to not think about work for a couple of days. And I get to meet my grandson for the first time. I’m really excited about that.”  
  
“So it is true, then?” Elin asked. “A nurse helping Sam overheard the conversation he was having with the American woman he brought in.”  
  
My sighed. She knew the news would spread like wild fire if she said who the child belonged to, so she had been diligent about not saying much. The last thing she or any of the members of her family needed at the moment was that kind of attention. “Please don’t spread it around.”  
  
But then the second part of Elin’s words filtered through her brain. “What? There’s an American woman with Sam? Here? Is the woman okay?”  
  
Elin shrugged. “I don’t know. She looked stressed and nervous. She’s in Curtain Four.”  
  
“There wasn’t a little boy with her?” My asked.  
  
“No, it was just Sam and the woman,” Elin replied.  
  
“Where’s her chart?” My asked.  
  
Elin chewed her lip. “Sam said not to give it to anyone.”  
  
“I’m his boss. Give it to me,” My demanded.  
  
The nurse handed the chart over to her. “Is something wrong?”  
  
My shook her head, though her instinct told her something wasn’t right. First of all, Alexander wasn’t here, and though she didn’t know Benny extremely well, she knew this was very odd. Being a mother never ended.  
  
She moved swiftly through the busy halls, flipping open the chart as she went. The name read Bernadette Cowan. Well, at least they were smart enough not to put Skarsgård there. Sam had scribbled in his untidy script that Benny had presented with fatigue, nausea and a host of other things. He’d ordered a blood and urine test to test HCG.  
  
My froze in her spot, nearly causing the nursing assistant walking behind her to run into her. She had to reread the words again. She flipped the page, finding the test results.  
  
And then she let out a squeal.  
  
The people around her, gave her an odd look, but turned back to their work. They just couldn’t possibly understand. While she knew she would love Benny’s son, this would be the first biological grandchild of the family. She’d always wondered how she’d act when one of her children came to tell her they or their significant other were going to have a baby. Never had she thought she’d be so excited, but truth be told, she’d been wanting grandbabies for a long time. It had gotten to such a point now that with her eldest sons as old as they were, and didn’t have serious relationships with anyone, that she was starting to lose hope.  
  
This excited her beyond belief.  
  
My closed the chart and nearly skipped down the hall and around the corner to Curtain Four. She opened the curtain to find Benny hunched over herself, her shoulders shaking as she sniffled. Benny looked up, probably expecting to see Sam, but when she realized who it was, the tears Benny had only just stopped shedding renewed with a new force.  
  
“Oh, love,” My said, shutting the curtain and stepping over to her.  
  
Benny wrapped her arms around My, and My accepted the hug gladly. Grandmother, mother or mother-in-law, it didn’t matter. Benny was in distress, and My knew that sometimes only a warm embrace could fix some things.  
  
After a few moments, Benny’s crying lessened and she pulled away. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. How are you, My?”  
  
“I’m wonderful. Clearly better than you’re doing,” she replied. “I suppose Sam told you the results of the test?”  
  
Benny shook her head. “No… he didn’t. He went to go find an ultrasound machine. I’ve been off-and-on crying since last night. ‘Cause I know the truth without the tests. It’s just more of a confirmation thing. Everything that’s been going wrong with me the past month is exactly like what happened with Harrison. I started with the headaches and fatigue, but I thought it was just the stress. I’ve just not felt right since Thanksgiving… and then last night, I was eating lingonberries like they were going out of style. I had a huge berry craving when I was pregnant with Harrison.”  
  
My smiled. “Well, I can confirm that you are definitely pregnant.”  
  
Tears welled in Benny eyes again. “Oh, god, I can’t be pregnant now. Not with everything going on… not with the wedding. I don’t want to be pregnant at my wedding.”  
  
“Calm down, Benny,” My said. She knew the feeling of finding out you were pregnant unexpectedly. At least three of her own kids hadn’t really been planned. They had just happened.  
  
“I thought I’d had my shots. I haven’t had a period in forever because I was on them… I purposely got one before I left New Zealand and headed back to the US, because I knew Alex and I knew what we’d be doing…”  
  
My placed a hand on her arm to stop her talking. “How long have you been taking the Depo shot, Benny?”  
  
“Since Harry,” Benny said.  
  
“Then you know it takes a few days to take effect,” My said. “You weren’t planning on Alex meeting you in London, were you? That was three extra days you’d planned on.”  
  
“But the shot usually overlaps,” Benny said. “Right?”  
  
“Honey,” My said, “this is a Skarsgård man we’re talking about here. All Stellan had to do was look at me strangely and I was pregnant.”  
  
Benny collapsed down onto the bed and hung her head. “This so wasn’t in the plan. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I ever do anything in the right order?”  
  
My laughed and sat on the bed beside her, grabbing Benny’s hands and squeezing them in her own. “Don’t worry about it, Benny. Everything will work out. I promise. Alexander wants nothing more than to grow his family… and I know things are crazy, but you and Alexander know how to make things work.”  
  
Benny sighed and looked up at her, meeting her eyes. “I’m scared, My.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
She shuddered into a half-sob. “I-I’m scared he’ll leave me.”  
  
My frowned. “Why would you think that? He loves you more than anything else in the world.”  
  
“I know… I just…” Benny said. “He could have so much more, and now on top of everything else, I feel like I’m saddling him with this responsibility, just when his career is starting to take off for him. He’s going one way, and I’m holding him back.  
  
“Benny, he doesn’t look at you like that. He’s utterly besotted with you,” My replied. “I know I can’t do anything to prove it to you, but I know. I’m his mother. I know him. And I know that the last thing on his mind is running. He doesn’t do that.”  
  
Benny nodded and wiped at her tears. My reached over for a tissue from the table beside the bed.  
  
“Here,” My said. “Dry those tears. This is a joyous occasion! You’re going to give me a new grandchild and I can’t wait.”  
  
“Why are you so accepting of all this?” Benny asked.  
  
“Because you’re good for Alex, and I think Alex is good for you,” My said. “Enough said.”  
  
Benny let out a watery laugh as the curtain pulled back to reveal Sam wheeling in a portable ultrasound machine.  
  
“Mom,” he said, realizing he’d been caught.  
  
“You knew I was working today,” she scolded. “Why didn’t you come get me?”  
  
Sam shrugged. “I’m a big boy. Went to medical school and everything. I think I can handle a few pregnancy tests by myself.”  
  
“Set up the machine,” My instructed and looked at Benny. “Let’s do a visual, just to be sure. Then we can date it and find your due date.”  
  
“Okay,” Benny said. “I’m pretty sure it had to happen when Alex met me in London.”  
  
My nodded. “Lean back. You’re going to have to lower your pants a little, though.”  
  
“I know,” Benny replied.  
  
My glanced at her and tried to smile reassuringly. It had to be odd that the doctors working on her were related to her. “We can go get someone who’s not related.”  
  
Benny shook her head and rested back on the bed, lifting her shirt and pulling the waist of her stretchy yoga pants down. “No, you’re fine. I’m not a prude.”  
  
“Swedish already, huh?” My asked with a laugh.  
  
“By injection, maybe,” Sam muttered.  
  
Benny scoffed and My reached over to smack Sam’s arm. But when My heard Benny snickering about it, she figured Benny really didn’t care. It was good that she was laughing, too, even though the cares of the world still seemed firmly in place on Benny’s shoulders.  
  
My pushed Sam out of the way as she pulled on gloves. She grabbed the ultrasound gel and paddle, manipulating it over Benny’s abdomen, taking measurements on the blueberry-sized baby as she went with the keyboard and controls. “We’re looking at about seven weeks... four days... When does that place conception?”  
  
“About November 15th,” Sam replied, checking the calendar on his cell phone. “Due date August 9th.”  
  
Benny groaned. “I knew it had to be all Alex’s fault.”  
  
My laughed at that, printing the records from the ultrasound machine. “It always is their fault. Are you going to tell everyone?”  
  
“Alex should know, don’t you think?” Benny cracked a smile, though My could tell the reality of the situation had settled hard. “As for everyone else, do you think I should? Shouldn’t we wait until the first trimester is over?”  
  
“It’s entirely up to you and Alex, love,” My said, turning off the machine and handing Benny towels to clean the remaining gel off her abdomen. “I just need to know to keep my mouth shut, but Sam can’t keep a secret if his life depended on it.”  
  
“Not true,” Sam replied. “Okay, maybe a little true.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I don’t know. We probably will... just family, though.”  
  
Benny got up from the bed and repositioned her clothing, and let out a long, tired sigh. “Well, at least I know that nothing else is wrong with me.”  
  
“Why didn’t you go to the doctor sooner if you weren’t feeling well?” My asked.   
  
“Too busy,” Benny replied. “And I thought it was just stress.”  
  
“Okay,” My replied and handed Benny the films she could take with her. Benny took them with trembling hands and placed them carefully into her oversized purse. “If you need anything from me for the next eight months, all you have to do is call me. And I mean that as a grandmother, doctor, or just a friend.”  
  
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Benny said, pulling her into a firm hug. “Thank you, My, for being awesome.”  
  
“I am pretty awesome,” My replied. “You’re welcome.”  
  
“Hey! I’m the one that drove through horrible snow and icy roads to get you here, and I did the tests,” Sam said with a frown.  
  
“Yeah, but you poked me with a needle,” Benny replied. “But thank you anyway.”  
  
Benny hugged Sam and sighed. “Okay, let’s go home. Maybe the drive will give me time to formulate how I’m going to tell Alex.”  
  
“I’ll be there at about 5,” My said. “Let your father and Megan know.”  
  
“I will,” Sam said. “Come on, Munchkin.”  
  
Benny slugged him and followed after Sam, out of the curtains. My sighed and gathered the chart up, writing down her notes and slipping the copies of the ultrasound pictures in the file. She’d take it to her office and make copies of all the paper work for Benny for later. Then she’d go see what other surprises she could find.  
  
But she knew one thing: if anyone else in her family came in with a pregnancy, she’d be done for it. The excitement and emotion was just too much for her.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 14

After making a full circuit of the downstairs that morning, Alex found that Benny had disappeared into thin air. Harrison entertained his new grandfather with a story of some sort, and Megan was busy with Ossian. As for other siblings, they were planted around the table, making themselves some lunch, except for Eija and Sam.

He knew Benny had been up early today, but she had told him to go back to sleep. Being as exhausted as he was, and because he had stayed up a little too late laughing with his brothers and drinking, he’d rolled right back over and done just that. Now he regretted doing it. He’d intended to take her out to finish up her Christmas gift shopping, but it appeared she had gone by herself.

“Morning,” Gurra had said, sipping his coffee.

“Hey,” Alex replied. “Where’s Benny?”

“She went to the hospital,” Megan said as she came in the room, readjusting Ossian on her hip and reaching for a bottle she’d warmed up.

“What?” Alex asked. “Why?”

Gurra shrugged. “Maybe to see Mom. Sam took her because she was pestering him this morning.”

Alexander frowned, a thousand explanations for the reason Benny had disappeared this morning—to go to the hospital, no less—running through his overactive imagination. He knew she’d been feeling ill for a while now, but like him, she was under a lot of stress. The way Benny bottled up the stress would make anyone feel sick. And after last night, with how odd she had acted before going upstairs to sleep, he just didn’t know what to think about anything.

And it pissed him the fuck off. Wasn’t he the one that was supposed to know what was happening to her? Why was she hiding so much from him? He’d been nothing if not an open book toward her since this whole thing began, and now she was keeping secrets from him? What was worse, he couldn’t even chalk it up to the fact that she needed to finish her Christmas shopping, mostly because she said she’d wait for him to go out, and because his family had all said she’d gone to the hospital.

With a disgusted grunt, he plopped down into a chair and tried to pay attention to food for a little while. Benny still hadn’t returned an hour later, so he got up and moseyed around the house, seeing what trouble he could get into until Gurra had become agitated and dragged him out to run to the grocery for last minute items needed for the party later.

They returned a few hours later, and Alex was relieved, if not any less annoyed by the whole situation, to see Sam’s grey Audi parked in front of the house. Sam sat with Valter and Bill wrapping gifts.

“Thanks for stealing my wife for the day,” Alex said.

Sam rolled his eyes. “She insisted on going to the hospital.”

“Is she sick?” Alex asked.

“Maybe you should talk to her about that,” Sam said. “She’s upstairs in your room.”

Alexander frowned and shook his head, going to the staircase and upstairs. He reached the shut bedroom door and tapped on it a few times before pushing it back. Benny lay on the bed, curled up beneath a mound of bedcovers.

She turned her head and met his eyes, and all his annoyance faded away. He’d still bring it up, but just from the anguish in her gaze, he knew something was very wrong. She sighed. “Hey.”

“Hi,” he replied, walking over to her. He sat on the edge of the bed beside her, resting an arm on her other side. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Benny turned on her back and rested a hand on his arm. “I’m just not feeling well.”

“Obviously, considering you felt you needed to go to the hospital,” he said.

“I didn’t _need_ to go to the hospital. Sam just took me there,” she replied. “And I got to see your mom, so it’s all good. I love her.”

“I’m glad you do,” he said. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong? I was a little angry when I found out you had to go to my brother and get him to take you to see a doctor.”

“You were asleep,” she said.

“And I would have gotten right up if you had told me you needed to go see a doctor,” he replied. “You know that.”

Benny bit her lower lip, chewing it thoughtfully. “I do know that.”

“Benny, I want to know everything about you, whether it involves bad things or good things, and if I’m available, I would like to be included in things like this,” he said. “Don’t push me out of that.”

“Can’t I have _some_ privacy?” she asked.

“Of course, but tell me you want it,” he said. “Don’t just sneak off like you did today.”

She nodded and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I only wanted to get it taken care of before any more time passed.”

“I understand,” he said.

Benny sighed and pulled herself up, opening her mouth to speak. Honestly, he didn’t know what to expect. The way things were going, it could be anything from inoperable cancer to a basic common cold, and frankly he just didn’t know if he could take any bad news right now… not with the other stresses in his life. However, despite whatever she told him, he would do his level best to stick by her and fight whatever this if he had to, because he had vowed to do just that even if the words weren’t legally spoken yet.

Before she could speak, though, the bedroom door burst open and Harrison barreled into the room. “Awex!”

Harrison ran around the bed to him, thrusting out his arm. “Wook what I made with Papa.”

Alex took the small wooden figurine from Harrison’s hand, surveying the craftsmanship of the thirty-month-old. He couldn’t tell what it was, but he was certain it was meant to be an ornament of some type. “It’s very good, Harry.”

“You can have it,” Harrison said. “Papa said we make more!”

His father’s hulking frame appeared in the doorway then. “Sorry you two, he got away from me. Come on, Harry, we have more things to make.”

“Okay, Papa!” Harry said excitedly, running to his new grandfather.

Alex watched his father’s expression soften with a bright smile at the boy. Though his father would never admit it, and tried his damnedest not to show that he was really soft on the inside, something like this that gave him such pause made Alexander smile. He only wished he had been able to see those looks from his father as a child. But he’d only been a kid then and would never have noticed them.

His father and Harry disappeared again, and Alex turned back to Benny. “I’m so glad they’re getting along,” she said.

“My father loves being idolized,” Alex said.

Benny laughed. “Not in the traditional sense.”

“Well, no, but you know what I mean,” he replied. “And hey… no changing the subject.”

Benny became somber and reached over to the bedside table. He hadn’t noticed them sitting there before, but on the table were a few black pictures with white shapes on them. It took him only a moment longer to recognize that he was looking at ultrasound pictures. He’d seen a lot of them in his life, from the ones of his siblings to that of Bjorne and Lisa’s daughter most recently.

But he wasn’t a doctor and he didn’t know what he was looking at. It could have been an ultrasound of a tumor for all he knew. “Is this what I think it is?”

A brief moment of dread fell on him when he met Benny’s blue eyes again. They were struggling to make their marriage and family unit work as it was, and now they had _this_ to worry about. A new addition in the midst of their crazy, hectic lives wasn’t something that he was planning on, and if he were honest, for the first time since this rollercoaster all began, he felt terrified and doubtful about how this would all turn out in the end.

For a split second, he almost wished it had been cancer, but he chastised himself for thinking such a thing. The love of his life was carrying a child they had created together. It didn’t make everything perfect, but it certainly made things better when he thought about it that way.

A thrill of excitement spread through him. “You’re pregnant?”

“I-I am,” she said, her voice breaking. “Seven weeks.”

He looked down at the ultrasound pictures again, his mouth opening in shock. “You’re pregnant.”

“Yes.” She sounded unsure.

“Oh god, you’re pregnant,” he said again, though he didn’t know why he was stuck saying it other than to make it sink into his own consciousness.

Benny frowned. “Stop saying that like you’re overwhelmed.”

“I am overwhelmed,” he said. “But I think it’s a good whelmed. Oh. My. God. Why didn’t I ever think of this… I’ve been around tons of pregnant women… I should have picked up on it. I can’t believe you’re pregnant.”

She let out a huge breath, her shoulders slumping. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

He opened his mouth to say something, but he was overcome with all the emotions—good and bad—welling up inside him. Instead of speaking, he let loose a short croak and struggled to keep the emotions from fully forming into tears. As it was, his eyes already stung.

He’d never expected this sort of a mixed bag of feelings when he’d considered the time when Benny would come to him and tell him she was pregnant. Neither had he planned on them being so violent.

“Alex…” she said, her voice searching.

Alex cleared his throat and met her eyes.

“Look, I know this isn’t what we need right now in our life,” she said. “I feel like an idiot. I’m like a queen of bad choices and making mistakes… I don’t know why I should think I would be any different now—”

“Benny,” he said, trying to stop her, but she was on a roll. He let her continue a little longer, her rant blending together and not making it to his ears as words. The only thing he could even contemplate at the moment was the thought that he was going to be a real father in seven months or so. “Benny!”

“What?”

“Shut up,” he replied, leaning in and kissing her deeply. This stopped her; though she struggled against him initially, she eventually slackened, her hands resting on his shoulders and grasping him for dear life. When he felt she was sufficiently silenced, and his own emotions had somewhat evened out, he pulled away from her.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

He ran a thumb across her lips. “Sorry about what? I don’t see any reason why you should be sorry about anything.”

“Well, I know my being pregnant isn’t something you want,” she said. “We’d talked about waiting…”

“First of all, never in a million years would I be upset about you getting pregnant,” he replied. “Secondly, it may be a little early in our schedule… but we’ll deal with it. Benny, I want to have hundreds of beautiful babies with you, just like Harrison. Whether it happens now or twenty years from now, I want you to be the mother of all my children.”

Tears had started falling down her cheeks by now, and she reached up to brush them away with her fingers. He didn’t know what else he could possibly say to make her feel better about this. He meant every single word he’d said, and he could care less how it happened. He would never run away from her, or do anything that someone else might have done in the past.

“Y-you’re not angry?” she asked.

“Why the hell would I be angry?” He frowned. “Overwhelmed, yes, but how could I possibly be angry about this?”

“I guess it’s just what I’ve come to expect after, well, you know…” she explained.

“Benny, what’s it going to take for you to get it through your head that I’m not leaving?” he said. “You’re going to have to kill me first.”

Benny burst into another round of tears. “I’m sorry. I’m just so emotional. I can’t believe I did this again. Like I told your mom… when the hell am I going to do things in the right order? It’s like I’m some crazy little hussy. God, I’m such a hot mess.”

He laughed and pulled her into his arms. “You may be a hot mess, but at least you’re _my_ hot mess.”

She smacked his arm. “That’s not funny.”

“Yes, it is,” he replied.

“Okay, maybe a little,” she laughed through her tears.

He pressed his lips to her forehead and pulled back from her. “Oh my god… are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“I’m fine, Alex,” she giggled. “But it looks like I’m going to need a lot of berries.”

“So _that’s_ what last night was all about,” he said.

She nodded. “Yeah. When I was pregnant with Harry, I went to a diner and had lingonberry crepes. I’d already had a berry fixation during the beginning of my pregnancy, but after that… oh, it was bad. My dad basically bought an entire shipment of lingonberry jam from IKEA.”

He laughed. “That _is_ bad.”

“But it’s _so_ good,” she said.

“I guess we should be glad I’m Scandinavian then and have easy access to getting you the freshest lingonberries possible,” he said.

“Yes we are,” she laughed. “Oh, Alex, I’m so relieved you took it so well.”

“You didn’t think I would?” he asked. “You’re my wife… it’s not necessarily out of the realm of possibilities that you would be pregnant. It was a surprise, but a joyous one.”

Benny sighed and shook her head. “There’s always a chance you may take one look at me and go the other direction.”

“You know better than that,” he said.

“I know I do,” Benny said, looking down at her hands as she played with the edge of the top blanket. “I just… I’m still relearning how to trust.”

He sighed and reached out to her, lifting her chin so she was forced to meet his eyes. “Benny, I know, and I imagine I’ll be telling you a million more times not to be so pessimistic about me, but I’ll do that. I’ll keep reminding you. I promise to do it until you get the picture.”

Benny chuckled. “Only if you promise.”

“I do,” he said.

She leaned into him and kissed him lightly. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” he replied, kissing her back and pulling her into his arms. “Are we going to tell everyone?”

Benny shrugged. “Do you want to?”

“You want to give my dad an aneurysm?” Alex asked excitedly.

She rolled her eyes. “ _Your_ dad? My dad still hasn’t accepted that his child has a toddler.”

“Well, we can’t really hide it from your parents,” he said.

“We’ll tell them all,” she replied. “But first your family. We really have to tread lightly here, just so it doesn’t get out into the open. I mean, I know your family wouldn’t say anything, but there were interested nurses and staff at the hospital.”

Alex nodded. “I can’t believe I even have to think about this.”

“It’s a reality we have to face right now, Alex,” she said. “And hopefully it’s a reality for the rest of our life. As much as we hate the paparazzi and the restrictions it imposes on our life, in order for you to do what you want, we have to live with it. We have just have to learn to be one step ahead of them… Right?”

“Correct,” he said. “But let’s not think about that right now. Let’s go enjoy Christmas Eve and tell everyone tomorrow. Sort of like a Christmas present.”

“Why do you want to wait?” Benny asked. “Your mom and Sam already know.”

Alex grinned at her.

“You’re hiding something,” Benny accused.

Alex shrugged his shoulders and stood up from the bed. “Come on, älskling. I have a ton of family coming over in the next few hours that you have to meet. We need to get ready. Especially for my Grandmother Skarsgård. Chances are she’ll know you’re pregnant within two seconds of meeting you.”

Benny chuckled. “Well, we’ll just have to wait and see about that.”

“That we will,” he replied, pulling Benny up, his earlier anger and annoyance about being left behind completely forgotten.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 15  
  
Benny sat amidst the mountain of torn paper and open boxes the following morning, looking at her new family surrounding her. She knew most of them just wanted to go back up to bed and sleep, but they had humored her and Harrison—namely Harrison—about opening presents in the morning instead of their tradition of opening gifts the night before. Of course, most of the gifts had been bought for Harry, to which the toddler had been delighted, but they’d been accommodating nonetheless of some of her traditions since she wasn’t at home.  
  
Truth be told, she was a little melancholy that she wasn’t with her parents and Joie and Josh this year. There hadn’t been a holiday in the past that she hadn’t shared with them, and to do so now took some adjustment. At least she loved Alex’s family, even the prickly ones who still hadn’t quite warmed up to her, like Eija. She was also pretty sure they were probably pretty fond of her, though Stellan wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing his feelings. But still, she missed not being able to hug the members of her family in the morning… or their usual Christmas Eve celebration with chili out at the ranch, or Christmas morning breakfast with everyone.  
  
She especially wouldn’t have minded seeing her family now, after finding out she was pregnant. Even though she was thirty years old, she still needed her mother and father once and awhile. What made it even more difficult was the fact that they apparently were busy with everyone else for the holiday, and she hadn’t been able to reach them over the phone or Skype to tell them the news.  
  
But she supposed first thing was first, and that was telling Alex’s family. My and Sam had remained mum all night, and much to her surprise, hadn’t pressed the subject of her or Alex telling everyone else. She liked that bit about Alex’s family the most—they weren’t in each other’s business most of the time, guilt tripping everyone or passing judgment. Sure, there were times where Alex’s family members weren’t saints, but she found the Scandinavian way of life much freer than that of her upbringing.  
  
Benny sighed and rested her head on Alex’s strong shoulder; he slipped his arm around her and pulled her close, brushing his lips across her forehead. Honestly, she couldn’t be more content than she was at this moment in his arms, surrounded by good people, and not fretting being pregnant. Oh, sure, she was worried about having another child and what it would mean for them, but this time her child’s father had not only stuck around, but he also seemed excited about having a baby.  
  
She leaned up and kissed his cheek, her lips grazing the bristly beard he neglected to shave regularly when he wasn’t working. It disgusted her how sexy he could be when he wasn’t really trying. It usually took her a good hair and make up stylist to do the same thing to her.  
  
“Should we give them the last gift?” he asked, struggling to keep a smile off his face.  
  
“I don’t know, it’s up to you,” Benny said.  
  
He smiled, removing his arm from her and standing from the couch. Wading through the paper massacre, he located the small box he had insisted on wrapping late last night for his father. Benny still didn’t know if Stellan would be happy, sad or angry about this development, but Alex seemed to want to do something to at least knock a year or two off his father’s life.  
  
“What’s this?” Stellan asked, taking the box wrapped in glittery paper out of Alex’ hand.  
  
“Just open it, Dad.” Alex picked a trail back through the mess and dropped into the seat beside her, pulling her back into his arms.  
  
Benny glanced at My, whose eyes had taken on a playful and excited look.  
  
Stellan opened the paper carefully, and as he broke through the tape holding the lid of the box in place, a pang of nervousness spread through her. Her relationship with Stellan was still growing, and here she was saddling the man with a real flesh-and-blood grandchild. What would he say now? What if he went right back to being the same old sour, curmudgeonly Stellan?  
  
He pushed the tissue paper inside the box back, and looked at the contents for such a long time, Megan had to lean over to see what was inside.  
  
“Oh lord,” Megan said.  
  
“What is it, Stellan?” My asked from the other side of the room.  
  
“This isn’t fake?” he asked blandly, looking at them.  
  
“No,” Benny said. “My did the ultrasound.”  
  
She felt Alex exhale at the same time his father smiled brightly.  
  
“Really?” Stellan asked. “You’re pregnant?”  
  
Those that did not know in the room, perked up instantly, though announcing a pregnancy—as she imagined—didn’t hold much mystery over the Skarsgard clan with so many throughout their life.  
  
“Yes,” Benny confirmed. “I should be due in August.”  
  
“Congratulations!” Stellan said, standing up and starting over to them, but they were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.  
  
Harrison popped up from playing. He loved answering the door, and he had no compunction about being the one to do it Sweden either.  
  
“Who here?” he asked, lifting his hands and shrugging his shoulders.  
  
“I don’t know, baby,” Benny said.  
  
“Hold on, Papa!” Harrison called as he ran after Stellan, who had diverted himself to get the door instead.  
  
Benny laughed and shook her head, curling back up beside Alex as others in the room started moving about and trying to put things right again. Harry squealed suddenly, but Benny didn’t care. Stellan could handle it.  
  
“What are we? Chopped liver?” she heard from the open front door. The hair on the back of neck stood up when she realized she knew that American voice. “He goes straight to Uncle _Tosh_!”  
  
Benny sat up stiffly and looked around the room, noticing that they were all smiling as though they had been waiting for this all morning. Then her gaze stopped on Alex, who was doing everything in his power to remain serious, though he wanted to laugh at her.  
  
“Oh my god,” she said. Barely able to contain her excitement, she jumped from her seat and walked out toward the front door where Stellan welcomed her entire family into the house. “Are you kidding me?”  
  
“Merry Christmas!” her father said, walking over to her and pulling her into his arms and kissing her cheek. She knew it’d only been a handful of days since she’d seen them in LA, but having them here for Christmas meant the world.  
  
“What are you doing here?!” she asked as her father stepped aside for her mother, on down the line to Jack, Joie and Josh.  
  
“Oh, wait,” her father said and rummaged through the bag he carried. He extracted a small red gift bow and stuck it to his forehead.  
  
Alex stepped beside her. “Merry Christmas, älksling. I told you your Christmas gift was coming.”  
  
“Thank you!” she said, looking up at him and standing on her tiptoes. He met her halfway in a sweet kiss.  
  
“You’re welcome,” he said softly, kissing her again.  
  
“How the hell did you get my father to come all the way to Sweden?” Benny asked. “In asshole deep snow, no less?”  
  
“Hey, I wanted to come!” Stephan said.   
  
“I promised him a really awesome Christmas present,” Alex replied.  
  
Benny frowned. “What Christmas present?”  
  
“Aren’t you enough?” Alex asked.  
  
“You apparently don’t understand my father that well,” she said.   
  
“Actually, I do,” Alex laughed.   
  
“He had really good vodka shipped to us,” her mother said flatly, not nearly as impressed by the gift as her father apparently had been. “Imagine my excitement.”  
  
“He didn’t have to bribe us, gosh!” Stephan said.  
  
“I promise I have an awesome gift for you, Trish,” he said.  
  
“Honey, if it’s not a six-foot-five, devastatingly handsome Swede with a penchant for older, married women, nothing is going to be that awesome,” Trish replied.  
  
“I’m right here,” Steve said.  
  
But Benny couldn’t help laughing when a few of Alex’s brothers stepped into the foyer. Alex looked at them. “Hey Gurra, you like older women, don’t you?”  
  
“Of course I do,” Gurra replied with a laugh and went about introducing himself to everyone, allowing Benny a moment to look up at Alex.  
  
“Really, Alex, thank you,” she said. “This means so much.”  
  
Alex smiled. “It was actually Jack’s idea. But don’t tell him I said so. He really doesn’t want you to know he loves you.”  
  
Benny nodded. “You know how little brothers are.”  
  
“That I do,” he said, glancing toward the stream of people now introducing themselves and talking to each other.  
  
Alex smiled and stepped away to go speak with Jack, and Benny stood back, still literally dumbfounded that her family had come halfway across the globe for Christmas. True, she would have done the same for them, but she knew her father hated airplanes. If he couldn’t drive to where he was going, good luck trying to get him to try any other form of transportation.  
  
She sighed contentedly and shook her head as a shadow fell over her. Glancing up to find Stellan there, he gave her a small smile. “Congratulations, Benny.”  
  
Benny grinned. “Thank you. I’m a little nervous about it, but excited.”  
  
“I know I don’t show it, but you have no idea how utterly happy I am for you both,” Stellan said.  
  
“Hearing you say it is enough, Stellan,” she said, slipping an arm around him and hugging him close. “I just hope you’re ready to be a grandpa again.”  
  
He chuckled. “Bring on the grandchildren.”  
  
“You’ll have to visit LA more,” she said.  
  
“I suppose I will, won’t I?” he asked.  
  
They separated and looked at the crowd of people in the small space. Joie had escaped the madness and stepped over to her, wrapping an arm in hers. “What’s up, sis?”  
  
“You look glow-y,” Joie said.   
  
“I’m incandescently happy right now,” Benny said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”  
  
Joie raised a brow at her. “I was the first person to know you were pregnant the last time, Benny. I know the signs.”  
  
“Oh my god, you’re horrible,” Benny said.  
  
“So you are?” Joie asked.  
  
Benny nodded.  
  
“Sweet! Now I don’t have to be the only hormonal one around,” Joie replied. “How far along are you?”  
  
“Only seven weeks,” Benny said. “I screwed up again. In London, we think. I just got my shot before coming back, and Alex surprised me…”  
  
Joie laughed. “It’s okay. You can screw up with him. He makes it okay.”  
  
Benny sighed, looking at Alex who laughed at something Josh had said. They turned to look at them and Benny couldn’t help but feel weak at the look of complete possession he gave her. Nothing could make her happier than a look like that, and realizing it meant that he claimed her despite everything.  
  
“And if he didn’t make it okay, I’d rip his balls off and feed them to dogs,” Joie said. “Of course, that would be if there was anything left after your father got done with him.”  
  
She giggled. “I love you, Joie.”  
  
“I love you, too,” Joie said. “Now tell your parents.”  
  
“Why do I have to tell them now?” Benny asked.  
  
“Because if you don’t tell them now, you’ll stew over it until you do. Then you’ll make yourself so nervous, you’ll talk yourself out of it a few times until it gets so bad you just blurt it out at a really bad time,” Joie said.  
  
“I’m not that bad,” Benny said. “And I’m not ashamed of this…”  
  
Joie rolled her eyes. “Yes, you are, a little bit. Don’t deny it. You swore up and down nothing like this would ever happen again, you know… baby out of wedlock.”  
  
“Yeah, and I said I would never go on another date with a man again,” Benny said. “Look how _that_ turned out.”  
  
“Yes… look at that,” Joie said, smacking her lips playfully as she looked over Alex from behind. “Oh, girl, no one is going to blame you for exercising your womanly rights on that man five times a day if you were so inclined.”  
  
Benny looked at her friend. “You’re in the horny part of your pregnancy now, aren’t you?”  
  
“How could you tell?” Joie asked. “But as handsome as your man is, he doesn’t compare to mine.”  
  
“Whatever. You can have Josh,” Benny said.  
  
“I think I will,” Joie said.  
  
Benny frowned. “Where are you staying?”  
  
“Hotel,” she said. “It’s like two minutes from here… Alex said we’d be a lot happier not having to deal with family drama here. And I quite agree. Oh, and there’s no fighting over the bathroom with a zillion people. You weren’t kidding when you said you had to be pee _all the bloody time_ , were you?”  
  
“I didn’t lie about any of the less-than-lovely aspects of pregnancy,” Benny replied. “And now I’ll point and laugh when you complain about stuff.”  
  
“While I point and laugh back at your pregnant ass,” Joie warned playfully.  
  
But she’d said it too loud.  
  
“What?”   
  
Benny sighed and turned to look at her mother who had stepped over to them.   
  
“Are you pregnant?” Trish asked.  
  
Benny nodded.  
  
Trish let out a squeal of delight and hugged her close. “Oh, honey, I’m so happy!”  
  
Her mother’s reaction this time was decidedly different than the way she’d reacted for the first. Of course, her mother had always been a stern woman—one had to be to balance out the craziness that was her father—but when Benny’d announced that she was pregnant with Harrison and JC was the father, all hell broke loose. Mainly because no one liked JC. She just didn’t realize that until after he left her. They were being kind and tolerating him just because it was what she wanted.  
  
At that time, her mother had been excited, though remained pragmatic, most likely because Benny needed all the support she could get. And while Benny had no doubt in the world her parents loved her and Harrison unconditionally, she felt that her parents at times became exasperated when she fucked up because when she fucked up, she always did it in a spectacular way.  
  
But this reaction also said something about Alex, and the relationship Benny had found with him. She trusted her parents’ and siblings’ opinions and feelings implicitly because she knew they would never let anything happen to her. That this was Alex’s child proved to Benny—if she hadn’t realized already—Alex was the one she was meant to be with and the rest of her family approved.  
  
Now she just had to believe it herself.  
  
Benny stood numbly, thinking about all of this as another round of hugs and congratulations started with everyone else now. Finally, people started trickling out of the foyer when Megan had said that breakfast was served, giving her some breathing room. She watched them all go, taking stock of the current moment in time.  
  
Everyone was happy, smiling and talking with each other. It seemed like her obnoxious, lovable family meshed well with Alex’s obnoxious, lovable family. Only Eija was still distrustful of her intentions. No one had said anything derogatory about her being pregnant—and as a matter of fact, seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. She had an amazing fiancé, a wonderful toddler and an even more spectacular family.  
  
Really, there was nothing else she could have wished for on this Christmas day, and she vowed never to forget what an amazing gift the universe had given her, transpiring to make this all possible.  
  
And even though she would never admit it aloud, she had to give a silent thanks to Audrey for hiring her onto True Blood. Without being hired, nothing would have ever happened, and Benny was certain she would have never found such a soul-deep perfection than she had at this very moment in time.  
  
“Mommy!” Harrison called, running into the room. He reached up and grabbed her hand. “C’mon, Mommy. Megan make bweakfast.”  
  
Benny laughed. “Okay, Harry.”  
  
She let Harry pull her toward the dining room, though she felt as though she could float.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 16  
  
Alex yawned to himself as he settled down into the seat at lunch the next day, across from the family law attorney he’d hired for Harry’s adoption. This was the first time he’d had a chance to schedule an appointment with him since finding out from the immigration attorney that he wasn’t actually married. And even this appointment would be a fast one over lunch at Joan’s. He knew that it might not be wise to be sitting out in the public and discussing this, but he thought that since his attorney was in plain clothes, it would just seem like friends meeting for lunch.  
  
As soon as he sat down, the paparazzi were there. He could feel them without actually seeing them, and he could hear the shutter clicks if he tuned into it. But he did as best as he could manage to block out the noise.  
  
“We can go inside if you like, Alex,” said Marcus, his attorney, as he glanced over his shoulder at the two photographers that had now come out of hiding but were still a good distance off.  
  
“No, it’s okay,” Alex said. “It’s too crowded in there.”  
  
“Falling into the pits of pap hell already, are you?” Marcus asked.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“Staying relevant means being seen every once and awhile,” Marcus replied. “You know that and you know being out here means they get your shot.”  
  
Alex sighed. “I don’t like it. I like to be private… but my publicist created this plan for me, and I agreed to it because I need to keep growing my name. It’s a huge mess now, especially because of Benny and Harry.”  
  
Marcus sipped his water and nodded. “Don’t let it get the best of you, Alex. I’ve lived in Hollywood long enough to know it’s not worth it. I’m surprised that Benny’s being so supportive of this ‘plan’.”  
  
“She says she understands,” he said. “She’s in the business, too, so I imagine she probably does. I just wish I could be normal and still act in movies and television.”  
  
“You can, you just won’t get paid the big money,” Marcus said.  
  
Alex nodded. “That is an option, but I made a promise to myself that I would take care of Benny. I want her to have this fabulous life. She doesn’t really understand that part of it yet, but she will. I hope.”  
  
“It’s noble of you, but don’t sacrifice your morals for the camera lenses,” Marcus warned. “Is she okay with the whole Kate thing?”  
  
“Not in the least,” Alex laughed acerbically. “But she agreed to that part of it because it is tied to my career with the movie, and she didn’t want to go public with the relationship. I’m fine with that, but it’s a big strain on the relationship when I have to do this showmance thing with Kate.”  
  
Marcus nodded. “Well, as your attorney, I caution you to be careful about all of this. You don’t want to adopt her son unless you know for sure this is going to last. It will cause more damage in the end for everyone, and then _you_ will responsible for child support.”  
  
Alex shook his head. “Nothing’s going to happen. I love Benny and I love Harrison. Even if I had to pay child support, I wouldn’t care so long as Harry’s taken care of… and I’d have to pay anyway even without Harry.”  
  
“Why?” Marcus asked.  
  
“Benny’s pregnant,” he said. “Just over two months.”  
  
Marcus pursed his lips, nodding. The reason he’d hired the man was because he was sharp and shrewd about his practice, and didn’t sugar coat anything. If he had an opinion, whether warranted or not, Marcus would tell him about it. Clearly, Marcus was worried after this little conversation.  
  
“I don’t really want to think about the whole paparazzi thing,” Alex said. “I still haven’t broken it to her that I have several awards show things this weekend that I am expected to be seen with Kate at.”  
  
“Why are you doing this to your relationship, Alex?” Marcus asked. “You owe it to yourself and to Benny to stop.”  
  
Alex frowned. “But how can I do that when I need this attention to get Straw Dogs out sometime in the next fifty years, and when I promised Kate I would help her out a little bit? Kate is a friend, despite everything.”  
  
“Yes, but they… the public, the gossip columnists… everyone… will chew you up and spit you back out because of this,” Marcus said.  
  
“At least it protects Benny and Harry,” Alex replied.  
  
“I hope for your sake it all works out,” Marcus said, shaking his head. “I really do.”  
  
Alex nodded, unable to forget the feeling of anxiousness that had planted itself in his stomach. It made him uncomfortable and he wished he didn’t have to worry about it at all. But he couldn’t deny the fact that he’d thought all this himself at some point since this all started.  
  
Could he really make this work out, or would everyone suffer?  
  
“Okay,” Alex said, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts. “What paperwork do you need to give me?”  
  
Marcus reached into his computer bag and extracted a packet of papers stapled at the corner. “This is the order of things to go into the adoption. The second page details the things we need for you to become a legal guardian to Harrison until you marry Benny and can legally adopt him.”  
  
“What about Harrison’s birth father?” Alex asked.  
  
“All Benny needs to get is a signed affidavit from him relinquishing rights,” Marcus replied. “It will go before a judge since there is an order for child support against him. She answers questions and becomes the sole parent. I’ve received all the case information from her previous attorney, so we should be good to go once we get the paperwork from the father.”  
  
“Of course,” Alex said.  
  
Marcus handed him a form. “Have the father fill this out and we will contact him and his attorney about it.”  
  
Alex nodded and glanced over the form, placing it with the packet of information. “So it’s that easy?”  
  
“Well, once you get married, then we can get everything filed,” he said. “Then social services will conduct a study about home life and you, we’ll have another hearing, and you’ll be granted the stepparent adoption.”  
  
“Cool,” he said. “That’s so much easier than all the crap I have to do with the immigration attorney. Who knew it would be so complicated to marry an American?”  
  
Marcus chuckled. “I’m sure Benny will have a huge headache with Sweden, too, if she chooses dual citizenship, but you know more about it than I do.”  
  
“I suppose I’ll have to ask Megan about what she did,” Alex said, thinking aloud as the server came out with their lunch.  
  
“Don’t worry about it right now,” Marcus said, unwrapping the silverware from the paper napkin. “You’ve got tons of other things to worry about before then.”  
  
Alex sighed. “You have no idea.”  
  
With that, they both tucked into their meal, and Alex was glad to have found an attorney who seemed relatively trustworthy. Of course, it helped that he was a friend of a friend and they’d met before this. But it would only make this process smoother.  
  
Alex glanced up when he heard a particularly loud camera shutter, finding a paparazzo standing right outside the patio eating area.  
  
Yeah, he’d see how smooth this went.  
  
\----  
  
When he walked in the house that evening, he trudged through the garage to the hallway only to see a giant man crossing his path up ahead to enter the kitchen. This was followed by a heavy Australian accent from a disembodied voice and two more large men walking into the kitchen. He heard Harrison talking excitedly about a toy and then Benny laughing loudly at something one of the Australians said.  
  
Completely confused, he continued his way back into the house and came out onto the kitchen. He took in the scene before him, trying to make sense of what was going on. Benny flitted about the kitchen, getting dinner on while one of the men with short curly hair dumped out a pot of spaghetti noodles into a strainer.  
  
Standing around the large island and in Benny’s way were laughing men, one leaner than the other and with buzzed hair. The other had longer dark hair. Still, all of the men were very, very muscle-bound.  
  
Sitting in the family room were even more people as Harrison sat on a woman’s lap. She was a very beautiful blonde woman, sitting with a few other women and one smaller man with dark hair.  
  
“Alex!” she said, walking over to him. She stood on her toes and he leaned down to kiss her automatically, to the cat calls of the men in the room. “Oh, you all can just shut it.”  
  
They all laughed.  
  
“Who are all these people, Benny?” he asked.  
  
Benny’s face fell from the smile. “Don’t you remember me telling you the other day? Our premiere date for Spartacus is the fourteenth, and I invited everyone in LA to have dinner tonight.”  
  
“Oh,” he said, recalling that she had indeed warned him about this. But he’d completely forgotten. “I totally forgot.”  
  
Benny shrugged. “It’s cool. Introduce yourself around, I need to finish with dinner.”  
  
“Okay,” he said, watching her go. He started with the two men in front of him.  
  
“I’m Andy,” said the one with the cat-like eyes. The other introduced himself as Manu. The woman with Harry was Viva, the other women were wives to Manu and Andy, and the other dark haired man was Craig.  
  
As he stood in the middle of this mess of men, he realized he’d never felt so emasculated in his entire life just by merely standing in the same space as someone else. These were all men in their physical prime, and for the briefest of moments, he wondered why Benny would have ever looked at him again after working with these people.  
  
The last person to introduce themselves was the curly haired one, named Jai, who was extremely helpful to Benny in the kitchen, and also the one who looked at Benny a little too long as she moved around. Alex cleared his throat, trying to push the thoughts aside that were niggling in his head.   
  
He was just jealous and nothing more.  
  
“Dinner’s ready everyone!” Benny called, ushering everyone into the dining room.   
  
Alex followed her in a daze, and dinner continued in the same fashion. She seemed so comfortable and talkative with everyone. He enjoyed watching her communicate with the colleagues she did not share with him, and though it was fun to listen, he couldn’t help the persistent little green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head in his head.  
  
But he’d be silent right now and let her enjoy the night. These were her friends, after all, and he couldn’t begrudge her them, especially when he had friends just like them.  
  
\---  
  
Benny yawned into her hand as she followed the last of her guests out onto the front porch to bid them goodbye. Seeing everyone from New Zealand had been exceptionally wonderful tonight, but she wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Alex was uncomfortable. He’d been sullen and silent all night; such behavior proved very odd for a man who could make fast friends with anyone. But she hadn’t been able to worry about it as she had other people to entertain.  
  
Honestly, she didn’t know what his problem was. They were her friends, and she’d warned him about inviting everyone over to dinner. Everyone had been respectful to the “master” of the house, and they’d even hopped up to do the dishes after everyone finished. His attitude got to such a point that he disappeared upstairs after taking Harry to bed for her. At least he’d remained quiet about whatever bothered him so there weren’t any truly awkward moments with her friends.  
  
However, she knew they would have to have a long talk tonight.  
  
Andy’s wife turned around and hugged her. “Thank you so much for dinner. It was nice not having to eat out again.”  
  
Benny laughed. “You could come over every night you’re in Los Angeles, Vashti. Remember that.”  
  
Vashti smiled. “Be careful what you say, because we’ll overstay our welcome then.”  
  
“Be my guest,” Benny said. Benny had grown close to Vashti whenever Vashti visited Andy on set or when they were all out together. Benny, in many ways, felt that she and Vashti had a lot in common. They were both pretty ordinary women—in all aspects of the word—but had somehow ended up in relationships with extraordinary men neither of them could quite comprehend. They’d had drinks one night in New Zealand where they had talked at length about the difficulties and benefits of being the second half of such a partnership. It was a godsend to have that friendship with someone who understood what she was going through and could advise her on issues she had… and someone’s who had a different viewpoint from Joie’s.  
  
“Andy will eat you out of house and home, trust me,” Vashti laughed.  
  
“I would not,” Andy said. “I’d be respectful.”  
  
“Says the man who had three helpings of spaghetti tonight,” Benny joked, wrapping her arm around him.  
  
Andy scoffed. “What? It was delicious.”  
  
“I’m glad you liked it,” she giggled.  
  
He leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek, glancing at his wife. “You ready to go, love?”  
  
“Yeah, I’m exhausted. My clock is still so screwed up from the jet lag,” she said. “Where’s Jai?”  
  
“Hold on!” he called as he walked down the hallway from the powder room.   
  
Andy and Vashti walked to their rental car and climbed in as Jai pulled on his coat and stepped outside the front door, looking down at her. “Dinner was great, Benny. Thanks.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” she said. “Got any plans while you’re out here?”  
  
“Just some work things,” he replied. “A few auditions and press for the show. That’s about it.”  
  
“Well, before you go back, we’ll have to get together again and hang out,” she said.  
  
Jai grinned brightly. “You sure you want to… even with what happened?”  
  
Benny chuckled. “Just because you got turned down doesn’t do anything with our friendship. Can you be respectful of my relationship with Alex?”  
  
“I can try,” he said. “But after tonight…”  
  
“Oh, don’t base it off of tonight,” Benny said. “I think he’s just tired. He’s amazing and I love him. Nothing will change that.”  
  
Jai nodded as the car horn honked. They both turned to glance at the driveway, finding Andy waving at Jai to hurry up.  
  
“You better go,” Benny laughed. “I’ll call you… or you can call me. Whatever.”  
  
“I will.” He smiled and leaned down, pecking the corner of her mouth in such a way she didn’t know if he had intended to get her cheek or her lips, but had missed both considerably. Whatever it was, she could still sense his want behind it, though he was a gentleman and restrained himself. “See you Thursday.”  
  
“I’ll be there!” she called after him, watching him get into the car. She waved them off down the driveway, sighed and turned around to head back into the house. After locking everything up and shutting lights off, she headed upstairs in search of Alex.  
  
She found him laying out on their bed with boxer briefs and nothing else on, flipping through a blue script. Benny sighed and crawled onto the large bed beside him, waiting for him to look at her.  
  
“Hmm?” he asked, not looking away from the words.  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
He sighed and grabbed a pencil from his bedside table, marking the spot he was at. Setting it aside, he turned his head to her. “Does he always kiss you?”  
  
His words were biting and deadly, said in a low, soft voice.  
  
“Uh… it was a friendly kiss,” she said. “Apparently you missed Andy kissing me as well.”  
  
“Ah,” he said.  
  
Benny frowned. “What are you doing spying anyway? If you were so interested, maybe you shouldn’t have disappeared an hour ago and stayed down there to get to know everyone.”  
  
“I had work to do,” he said. From the look on his face, he knew it was just as feeble as it sounded.  
  
“Listen, I told you everything about the television series and what went on in New Zealand. I sent you pictures from the set. You knew who and what I was working with, and that I got close to a few of them,” she said. “Don’t go being jealous now, especially when they are _only_ friends, who live on the other side of the globe except for a few weeks a year.”  
  
“I’m sorry. I just have a little problem with my wife spending time around these types of men who apparently were naked all the time,” he said.  
  
Benny scoffed. “What bothers you more, Alex? The fact that I’m close with other men who might be as or more attractive than you, or the fact that you feel—irrationally, I might add—inferior to them?  
  
He remained silent.  
  
“Or are you worried because they also pay attention to me, some more than others, in a romantic sense?” she asked.  
  
“Benny…”  
  
“Why can’t I have men who are into me, too?” Benny asked. “You have legions of fangirls at your feet, ready to do whatever the hell you want them to. Why can’t I have my own fan club, even if the population is like two?”  
  
“Quit putting words into my mouth, Benny!” he argued. “I never said men can’t be attracted to you.”  
  
“Just not _those_ men, apparently,” she said.  
  
“No, not those men,” he replied. “Look, I’ve had a lot of shit in my background, too, relationship wise. We’ve talked about it before at length. Cut me some slack here… I’m a little touchy on men desiring my things.”  
  
Benny couldn’t believe her ears. “Your… _things_?”  
  
He rolled his eyes. “You know that’s not what I meant.”  
  
“Are you sure? Because that’s what it sounds like right now,” she said. “Am I just a ‘thing’ to you? A possession? A kept woman?”  
  
“No, of course not, Benny,” he said.  
  
“You’ve got one hell of an ego,” she replied, shaking her head, “to think for one minute that you can control what I do.”  
  
Alex looked at her. “Benny… stop! That’s not what I mean at all.”  
  
Benny clenched her jaw. “Then what the fuck do you mean, Alex?”  
  
“Knowing the feelings Jai has for you, as you’ve told me,” he started, “is it really a good idea to keep a friendship with him?”  
  
“Why not?” she said. “He’s a great friend.”  
  
“But what if he does something?” he questioned.  
  
Benny sighed. “Like what? Like if we were to sleep together?”  
  
He didn’t reply and looked away.  
  
“You fucking need to get a clue, Alex,” she said, getting up from the bed. “How about a little trust? I’ve never once cheated on someone I’ve been in a committed relationship with, even when the other was cheating on me. I’ve done nothing with anyone else since I had Harry besides _you_ , and I’ve explained to Jai at length why we can’t do anything. And if we’re really going on this path… do I need to bring up a little blonde, bulimic pebble in my shoe?”  
  
“You’re cruel,” he said.  
  
“Oh, about the pebble?” she questioned, deservedly righteous as her temper flared. Her crazy emotions didn’t help either.  
  
“Yes, about _Kate_ ,” he stressed.  
  
“I tolerate her because I can’t stop and empty my shoe out right now. I tolerate her because I love you, Alex. How fucked up is that? She’s going to be around all the time, whoring you out to the cameras and showing you off as her boyfriend while I have to sit at home and watch her lay all over you? I tolerate it because I love you. And _I’m_ the one who’s supposed to be charitable and good natured about this? Yeah, screw you and the horse you rode in on if you think for one minute I’m going to be happy about this set up.”  
  
“What do you want me to do, Benny?” he asked. “Do you want me to call my publicist and tell them to shove it? I will…”  
  
Benny groaned and rolled her eyes. “Just drop it, Alex.”  
  
“No. Why should I?” he asked. “Obviously you can’t _stand_ her.”  
  
“You’re right, I can’t,” she said.   
  
“Even if I ended the contract with her, we're still friends. You realize that being friends with her means publicity, even if we’re not in some contractual agreement, right?” he asked. “She calls the paparazzi out. She has people drop stories at gossip mags.”  
  
Benny scoffed. “Why do you even like her if you know she does this shit? This is ridiculous, Alex.”  
  
“Because she’s a good person underneath it all,” he said.  
  
“Yeah… right…” Benny said, walking into the closet to search for her pajamas.   
  
“Speaking of Kate…” he started.  
  
She found her favorite flannel pajamas—the ones that would never incite lust in anyone—and dressed in them. Slipping on her slippers, she padded out into the bedroom again where Alex sat on the bed.  
  
“What about her?”  
  
“She’s going to the Elysium thing with me,” he said. “And to a few of the Globes after parties.”  
  
So there it was. She’d specifically been told she wasn’t invited a few weeks ago, but now Kate was invited. And worse, Kate not only got an invite, she would be living it up in Alex’s presence, probably trying to cause trouble.  
  
“Lovely. Just lovely,” Benny said, trying her best to keep her anger contained. “I’ll just stay home and await your return then… like a good wife.”  
  
“You know what? You’re being impossible. Nothing is going to make you happy. Nothing!” he exclaimed.   
  
“I’m pregnant, Alexander!” she said. “I’m _allowed_ to be unreasonable. But you know I’m not being unreasonable.”  
  
“Wasn’t I told I couldn’t come to the Spartacus premiere? Where you’re going to be with all those guys? Talk about double standard,” he defended.  
  
Benny had never wanted to strangle someone more than she did at that moment. Instead she clenched her jaw and gave him a fake smile. “You can’t come because you’re _working_. Or did you forget that little show you’re on?”  
  
“Yeah, well, I’m _working_ Saturday and Sunday, too,” he said.  
  
“Oh, so that’s what we’re going to call it now?” she asked. “Working?”  
  
“Why not? But now I don’t want to be there,” he said. “Especially if you’re going to bitch about it.”  
  
Benny pushed past him and headed toward the doors out onto the deck. She needed to leave the room and calm down for a little while. The argument wasn’t going to end. It was just going to get worse if one of them didn’t leave to cool off and gather their wits about them.  
  
“Where are you going? It’s cold,” he said.  
  
“I’m going out to the studio for a little while,” she said. “I have a few things to finish up on my dress for the premiere. Oh wait, for work, on Thursday.”  
  
Alex scoffed. “We can’t just walk away and not resolve this, Benny.”  
  
“Oh, we can’t?” she asked. “Watch me do it.”  
  
She walked through the door and headed down the stairs off the balcony and onto the path. Perhaps it wasn’t the best decision in the world, but frankly, she just couldn’t deal with the argument any more tonight. It would save for another day.  
  
But that certainly didn’t make her worry any less.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 17  
  
Benny sat in the makeup trailer Thursday afternoon as Tess painstakingly applied makeup to her face for her evening out at the Spartacus premiere, despite the fact that Tess’ pregnant stomach made it both uncomfortable and nearly impossible to complete the task. The whole situation was actually pretty absurd, but Tess had insisted on doing the makeup herself, even though she had relegated cast makeup to the rest of her staff.  
  
“You really should let someone else do it,” Benny said. “They’re all competent enough.”  
  
“Sure they are. Until they accidentally poke your eye out with eyeliner,” Tess hummed, sticking a liner brush handle between her teeth as she used a finger to smudge the eye makeup.  
  
Benny chuckled. “Alex would be happy with that. It’d mean I wouldn’t go to the premiere tonight.”  
  
Tess rolled her eyes. “He’s still on about that? Really? He has no right to say anything.”  
  
“I’ve just pushed it out of my mind,” Benny said. “It’s not worth arguing about if neither of us are willing to bend yet.”  
  
“One of you better bend soon,” Tess replied. “Or this will never last between you. Take it from someone who has been married for awhile. Sometimes you just have to compromise, even if neither of you are very happy about it.”  
  
Benny sighed. “I thought you and Bill were always perfect together and never had troubles when you were married,” she chided.  
  
Tess snorted loudly at that. “Oh, honey, we had our fights. Just like I have them with Sam now. Of course, they’re always the first to fold because they wanted sex, but that’s another story.”  
  
“What if they could have found sex elsewhere?” The question was out of her mouth before she could stop it, but it had been said and there was no taking it back now. Not when it was the very question she had stressed and worried about ever since this whole thing started.  
  
Tess understood the importance of the question as well and stood up, looking at her for a long moment. “Benny, stop thinking like that or he will.”  
  
Benny felt the tears coming to her eyes and she struggled to keep them away. Tess sighed and pulled out a tissue from the holder on the counter behind her and handed it to Benny.  
  
“I see the pregnancy hormones have taken full leave of your senses,” Tess replied. “I get it. I do. But stop playing the fucking victim here. You can’t compare apples to oranges where JC and Alex are concerned.”  
  
“But Alex is so affectionate with everyone,” Benny sniffled. “And women especially. With this whole thing going on with Kate… what if he does end up in love her… and if I stop giving it to him… he goes away because he has the other chick waiting in the wings?”  
  
Tess pursed her lips. “Then he does and he wasn’t good enough for you to begin with. Benny, you’re prime rib. She’s… grizzle. She’s been used more frequently and by more men than Lindsay Lohan’s crack pipe. All to get where she is today.”  
  
“With Alex in a showmance,” Benny added.  
  
“To keep the spotlight off you, because you didn’t want the attention, and because you asked him to leave you out of it,” Tess reminded.  
  
Benny dabbed at her eyes. “I guess.”  
  
Tess placed her hands on her hips and leaned back on the counter. “Take what’s yours, then. Don’t let some other chick all up on that.”  
  
Benny laughed loudly enough that the others in the trailer turned to look at them. “I can’t believe you just said that like that.”  
  
“Hey, that’s why you have me,” Tess said. “And Joie, too. Have you talked to Joie at all?”  
  
Benny shook her head. “No. Not since we got back after Christmas. She’s been so busy with awards season.”  
  
Tess smiled. “You should talk to her, too, you know. She’s used to the married life.”  
  
“After seven months? Yeah, I’ll take your advice over hers on this one,” Benny said.  
  
“Good,” Tess said. “Then I’m telling you to stop being the victim. Stand up for what you want, tell Alexander the whole Kate thing isn’t going to work and go on with your life. If he’s worth his salt, then he’ll do the right thing.”  
  
Benny frowned. “I just don’t want to have to deal with that emotional mess right now if he chooses the career over me.”  
  
Tess pushed away from the counter. “He won’t. Of course, being a man, he might make a few mistakes… but it’ll all work out.”  
  
“You promise?”  
  
“I promise,” Tess said. “Now, are you finished crying? I’d like to get this done so I can go back to my throne and direct my neophytes from there.”  
  
“I suppose so,” Benny said, dabbing at her eyes again.   
  
“Good, because I may be a genius with a makeup brush, but there’s no way in hell I can wave a magic wand to make it permanent,” Tess said.  
  
“Yes, mistress,” Benny replied.  
  
Tess grabbed Benny’s chin and turned it harshly, but playfully, so she could go back to her eye makeup. “And don’t you forget that.”  
  
Benny giggled.  
  
“Stop smiling. It messes up the eye crease,” she directed.  
  
Benny sighed and let Tess do her work. As it was, she was already behind schedule after a big wardrobe malfunction on set, and then Tess insisting she straighten her hair before she styled it. Of course, it helped that her friend _was_ really a genius when it came to hair and makeup, and could do it quickly and expertly.  
  
After a while and many more coats of what felt like tons of powder, Tess stepped back and let Benny look in the mirror. She barely recognized herself. Her transformation for the evening was complete into 1940s bombshell, from the victory rolls placed asymmetrically on her head to the bright, expertly crafted makeup.  
  
“So?” Tess asked.  
  
“You’re worth every penny,” Benny replied.  
  
“You’re welcome,” her friend giggled and stepped away to clean up her palette of colors. “Here’s the lipstick for you to take with. Now, I expect you to go strut your way through the studio, and make Alex realize what he’s missing tonight.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes and stood up, smoothing out her dress. She had worked on this for days to get it just right, and she couldn’t wait to wear it out. Especially since this would probably be the last time she could wear something so form fitting before her own pregnancy started showing. She ran a hand over her belly and took a deep breath.  
  
Despite everything, she would have fun tonight. Then she would deal with the Alex issue.  
  
Eventually.  
  
“Well, I’ll strut as much as I can,” Benny said. “I might fall and sprain an ankle in these shoes, though.”  
  
Tess looked at her feet. “I see you raided Joie’s closet again.”  
  
“Oh, I stole these before she moved out last year,” Benny laughed. “Not like she missed them… they’re so last season.”  
  
Tess rolled her eyes. “Get out of my hair.”  
  
“Aye, aye captain,” Benny said, grabbing her evening bag and heading out the door of the trailer.  
  
\----  
  
“I hate this fucking scene,” Stephen said, sipping a beer.   
  
Alex looked up from reading through another section of the script. “They’ll rewrite it.”  
  
“Let’s hope,” Stephen said.  
  
“And if they don’t, just remember, it’s a paycheck,” Alex added with a smile. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “I need to go to makeup.”  
  
“As do I,” Stephen said, chugging the rest of his beer.  
  
They both got up from their seats at the commissary and started cleaning up their mess from their dinner. Alex had so wanted a beer, but he knew if he’d started with one, he wouldn’t stop. Not tonight when he was too anxious about Benny going out to her premiere without him and with the questionable man who would be her date for the evening.  
  
He had done everything he could think of to get over himself the past few days, knowing that it _was_ a double standard of him to take Kate everywhere when he didn’t allow Benny the same freedom with her male friends. What the whole argument had served to show him was that there was a very fundamental part of their relationship he’d ignored. He’d asked her repeatedly to trust him implicitly, and here he was with no trust in her—and not because she had done anything to be untrustworthy.  
  
It was something he had to get over, and soon, if this relationship was going to grow up and stay together.  
  
Alex was glad to have realized the deficit, though, so he could work on it before the wedding. Whenever that would be.  
  
He stuffed his trash in the bin and placed his script under his arm, following Stephen out the door. Expecting Stephen to keep walking, Alex ran into him when he realized he had stopped suddenly, rooted in his spot.  
  
Alex looked up and opened his mouth to inquire as to why Stephen had stopped, but when he did, he heard a few men cat call from across the way.  
  
Then he realized what everyone was looking at. Walking through the lot was a vision in bright fire engine red, a knee length dress that hugged and showed her body in such a way to make her sexy without it being vulgar. The tall heels strapped precariously around her ankles made her legs look mouth-watering in the silk stockings she was wearing. His eyes were instantly drawn to her rack, which was nicely on display in the deep neckline. She was gorgeous.  
  
“We’re not filming a flashback today, are we?” Stephen asked. “No 1940s ladies for your SS agent?”  
  
Alex shook his head “no” as he finally tore his eyes away from her rack and traveled up her slender neck and then her face. The shock he felt when he realized he’d been ogling Benny all along made him a bit sheepish. But it was also the most satisfying thing in the world to realize _all that_ was his.  
  
He puffed his chest out and nodded appreciatively. “Nope. There’s no flashback. And that’s Benny.”  
  
Stephen turned to look at her. “Good god, it is. Anna’s gotta see this. She’ll fall in love.”  
  
“See what?” asked the voice now beside them.  
  
They both turned to look at the blonde woman standing there.  
  
Anna glanced at the commotion. “Oh, Benny. Yeah, she’s fucking hot. I ran into her on her way out of makeup… to my viewing pleasure.”  
  
“You’re so bad,” Stephen said.  
  
Anna laughed. “I need to talk to you for a few minutes. You good, Alex?”  
  
“Yeah, I’ll catch up with you later,” he said, waving them off, his attention back on Benny. This time his wife spotted him.  
  
She slowed her strides and he took that as his cue to go to her. He walked across the lot, fully aware of the eyes watching the scene take place, and pulled her into his arms, planting a long kiss on her lips.  
  
Benny looked up at him, completely dazed as he pulled back from her. Then she giggled. “Wow.”  
  
“I should say the same thing,” he said, stepping back and looking down at her again. “You’re hot.”  
  
“I try,” she said.  
  
Alex grinned.  
  
“Now you have lipstick all over your face,” she said.  
  
“I’ll wear it proudly,” he replied. But then a thought occurred to him. She had gotten all dressed up for her premiere. For the man she was going with. Certainly not for him. “I’m sure the guys at the premiere will appreciate the look.”  
  
Benny sighed. “I didn’t do this for them, Alex. I did it because it makes me feel good to be pretty once and awhile.”  
  
“You’re always pretty,” he said.  
  
“Be that as it may,” she replied. “You need to stop worrying. I’ll be home tonight. Probably before you even get done shooting.”  
  
Alex nodded. “Okay.”  
  
Benny smiled. “I _do_ love you, Alex, even when we don’t agree on things.”  
  
Even though they were only words, they did make him feel better. A lot better, actually.  
  
“I love you, too,” he said, kissing her again.  
  
“Now, please go away. I’m late and you’re going to be late to makeup if you don’t go.”  
  
“Wait up for me tonight?” he asked.  
  
Benny giggled. “I’ll try, but I’m not guaranteeing anything.”  
  
“That’s all I need,” he replied, kissing her one last time before breaking away from her. Alex walked away, but stopped again and turned back around, watching her go… specifically the way her backside moved. Oh, yes, he was in love, and working tonight would be torture when he knew she would be out on the town with another man.  
  
But it would certainly make Eric’s blood lust even easier to portray in tonight’s scenes.  
  
  
\---  
  
Jai chugged down another flute of the champagne that had been floating around the party on silver platters all evening. He knew he should probably start on the heavier stuff if he was going to make it through the night in her presence, but the proximity to the bar was not nearly close enough when the uniformed wait staff made a circuit around the room with a fresh tray of champagne, passing by him every ten minutes or so.  
  
God, could anyone be more beautiful than she? Tonight especially, she looked resplendent in one of her own fashion creations. With such a striking confidence to match, no man who looked her direction could help but take a second look and fall victim to her charm. Sort of like Medusa, but without the snakes.  
  
Of course, he imagined the cleavage helped, because he had found himself staring a little too long at times since they had met up at his hotel to ride to the premiere together. What he found so mesmerizing about it was that said cleavage was natural and beautiful, so unlike many other women. He wanted so badly just to reach out and grab her in his arms to do any manner of things to her, but he’d been a good boy. Barely. There had been a picture they’d posed for together that he’d nearly tipped her back and planted a kiss on her lips, consequences be damned.   
But his self restraint was waning as the night wore on and the liquor in his system increased.  
  
The worst part about all this was that Benny knew about his feelings for her. She’d been completely open with him from the get go, and clearly didn’t want anything outside of a friendly relationship. Which, unfortunately, he understood. He was just a glutton for punishment, seeking her out and spending time with her. The fact of the matter was he felt it was much better to be her friend, even if he couldn’t have what he really wanted… he just didn’t want her to leave his life permanently.  
  
It also placed him in a position to swoop in should the moment present itself that Benny broke up with Alex. Certainly wouldn’t be his most selfless moment in the world, but he knew he could comfort her. And he could also be a million times better for her than the man she was currently with. After all, who in their right mind went around in public with another woman while your future wife wasn’t at your side? There was something seriously fucked up about this, and Jai knew he would make a point of showing Benny how this was all wrong.  
  
If he’d had Benny as his own, he wouldn’t be ashamed of her. He’d take her out in public, show her off on his arm, and make sure everyone knew how incomprehensibly in love he was with her. Never would he consider spending time with another woman in public simply to help his career.  
  
Jai grumbled and snatched another champagne flute as a waiter walked by him. He heard a low chuckle and it took him a moment to connect it to Andy. Turning to find his friend, Andy held out a tumbler full of amber liquid.  
  
“Scotch,” Andy said, offering it to him. “Looks like you need something a little harder.”  
  
“Thanks,” Jai muttered. He took the glass and sniffed the liquor before taking one long, glorious pull.  
  
Andy slipped into the seat beside him at the table. “You know, sitting here in the corner and pouting isn’t going to change anything.”  
  
“No, it won’t, but it makes me feel better,” Jai said.  
  
Andy chuckled, shaking his head. He glanced across the room where Benny was busy being chatted up by a few different studio execs.   
  
“I know I can’t have her,” Jai said. “But by God, I’m not leaving the US until they’ve actually walked down the aisle together.”  
  
“I hate to break it to you, but I think you’re playing a losing hand,” Andy said. “She and Alex are in love with each other. You can tell by the way they look at each other.”  
  
Jai frowned. “How the hell can you say that? You were there for dinner. You saw how he acted.”  
  
Andy smirked. “Would _you_ be particularly happy coming home from a long day of work to find lots of people in your house? Yeah, didn’t think so.”  
  
“Still don’t like him,” Jai said.  
  
“I’m sure he feels the same about you,” Andy reminded him.  
  
Jai looked over at his sage friend and let out a long sigh. “I just can’t ignore her.”  
  
“No, you shouldn’t do that. But you do need to open yourself up to meeting other women,” Andy said. “Cause, dude, this pining isn’t healthy.”  
  
“Am I really that terrible?” he asked.  
  
Andy chuckled. “You, my friend, are indeed that terrible.”  
  
“Fine,” Jai said, putting the tumbler on the table in front of him.  
  
“Good,” Andy said. “Now those birds over there have been looking over here all night.”  
  
Jai glanced at the table Andy motioned to. Two women stood there, one darker in coloring and the other fair, with platinum blonde hair. Both were trying to be as inconspicuous as possible in glancing over at them, though they were the most conspicuous thing in the party.  
  
“They’re just one nighters,” Jai said.  
  
“Most likely out to sleep with one of the main actors,” Andy added. “But it will get your mind off Benny.”  
  
Jai glanced over at Benny, now engrossed in conversation with some fashion magazine writer that had been hounding her all night for an interview. Benny laughed at the man as her eyes flicked over the room in his direction. She made a face, winked and turned back to the writer.  
  
Yeah, those women at the other table wouldn’t be anything to him. But they would definitely serve as a nice, short diversion.  
  
He hoped.  
  
\----  
  
Alexander woke to the television being turned off and a yawn accompanied by a soft feminine hum. He would know that sound anywhere. Opening his eyes, he found Benny turned away from him and looking off into space as she removed her earrings and necklace.  
  
While a relief for her to finally be home, he had been disappointed when he pulled into the garage a few hours ago to find that her car still wasn’t there. He’d worked extra hard all evening to get all the takes they needed just so he could get home and to her sooner. The promise of carnal pleasures that Benny had hinted at before leaving for her premiere had made him miserable, and he had wanted to release that which had pent up over the last week with their crazy schedules and no time to relieve it.  
  
But she’d not been home. No, she was still out with that guy.  
  
It pissed him off, but he knew he had no right to complain. So he’d fallen into bed to watch some bad sitcom reruns until he’d gone to sleep. He’d intended to wait up for her, but he was glad he had at least not been sleeping that heavily.  
  
After setting her jewelry down on the bedside table, she reached beneath her right arm and unzipped the long zipper of her dress, shimmying out of the clothing to reveal quite possibly the most risqué pieces of lingerie he’d ever seen her wear. Well, maybe not the most risqué, but definitely the most appealing.  
  
She wore some sort of corset thing made of black lace, small underwear and a matching, honest-to-God garter belt with her stockings.  
  
Had he known she’d been wearing that beneath the dress, he wouldn’t have let her leave the studio earlier. He would have dragged her to his trailer and had his way with her. But, in hindsight, it was probably better that he didn’t know she was wearing all that. Because he would have been unable to work, and most likely would have locked her somewhere so no other man could look at her.   
  
He knew better than to submit to his more caveman and Viking-like tendencies. They always got him in trouble.  
  
She left him then to head into the bathroom. Alex lay still for a moment, considering his next move. Did he wait to pounce on her when she came to bed, or did he follow her?  
  
The straining he felt in his own underwear told him that he couldn’t wait for whatever she was doing. He had to go seek her out or he’d go crazy waiting.  
  
He threw the covers back and stood up, plodding in the direction she had gone. She stood in front of her vanity, reaching for a hand towel to dry her now makeup free face. Catching sight of him in the mirror, she smiled softly.  
  
“Sorry I’m late,” she said. “Jai left me stranded while I was talking to a reporter… and I had to call a cab to take me back to the hotel to get my car.”  
  
He nodded and stepped over to her, placing a kiss on the slope of her shoulder. He watched as gooseflesh rose in reaction to his touch, and sighed in relief as she shifted some of her weight back into him. She ground back into him a moment, ascertaining the state of his hard length in his underwear.  
  
Alex groaned. “You’re evil.”  
  
Benny met his eyes in the mirror, her smile devilish.   
  
He couldn’t contain himself much longer. He needed this release and fast; he’d spent too long dreaming about this moment all night.  
  
Encircling her in his arms, he let his hands roam up her front, stopping briefly at the first lower clasp of the corset. Glancing at the long row of hooks, he realized it would be futile for him to attempt to get them all undone in a timely fashion. Benny arched one finely-shaped brow at him, as though in challenge.  
  
He smirked and lifted his hands, grazing them up the fine lacey exterior, cupping her full breasts in his hands through the lace. Meeting her eyes once more in the mirror, he knew she understood his need, because he saw it reflected back at him in her gaze.  
  
She turned slightly, reaching an arm up to circle around his neck. She pulled his head down, and their lips met, and Alex couldn’t control himself.  
  
“I’ve thought about this all night,” Benny said.  
  
“Oh?” he replied, kissing her long and hard until she pulled back from him for air. He trailed his lips down the side of her neck.  
  
Benny nodded. “Mmhmm.”  
  
He nipped at her ear, sliding his hands under the top of the corset, letting her flesh warm his cool hands. She moaned softly, her nipples tightening at his touch. Caressing a moment more, he shifted his hands back down her stomach, sliding his fingers beneath her underwear. His fingers found her center, and she gasped, moving against his hand to create more friction.  
  
He sucked on the spot where her jaw and ear met, continuing the ministrations with his fingers, surprised at how ready she was after so short a time. Perhaps she _had_ thought about this all night.  
  
“God, Alex, don’t tease me,” she scolded. “I need you to—.”  
  
Her words trailed off as she sucked in another breath.  
  
“You need me to… what?” he questioned, barely able to control himself at the promise of what her words would be. It never failed to amaze him just how crazy she made him, in every way.   
  
“Just fuck me, Alex,” she ordered.   
  
Alex knew the urgency in her voice as well as he felt his own, and very carefully shifted. He dropped his underwear and grabbed her close again. She leaned back and kissed him again, and he used the opportunity to bend her over the vanity just enough that he could move her underwear aside and position himself to slide home.  
  
Benny released her grasp on him when gravity became too much, and she steadied herself with her hands flat on the counter top. He bent over her, kissing her back and up her left shoulder, reveling in the feeling of her warmth as he started moving slowly, grabbing her wonderful, full hips for leverage.   
  
She met each of his strokes, pushing him to increase his speed and intensity. Benny moaned loudly as she tossed her hair back out of her eyes. He looked down then, meeting her intent, lust-filled gaze, her teeth worrying her lower lip enticingly. Her cheeks were rosy with exertion, and her wicked smile was his undoing again. Rising up, she changed the angle in a way that made her cry out in pleasure, and it was everything he could do to stop himself from climaxing.   
  
Not yet. He didn’t want it to end so soon, but he knew he didn’t have long.  
  
Alex slipped his hands back down her front, and found her center, his fingers now moving of their own volition, but in concert with his thrusts.  
  
“Fuck.” Benny gasped, her hands searching for purchase on anything she could find. He could feel her own release building as her body began to tense against him. As their eyes connected again in the mirror, her body went rigid and her eyes closed, as she keened his name.  
  
He slowed his hips only slightly as she rode out her wave of pleasure. When she opened them again, looking thoroughly pleased, he couldn’t keep himself reined in any longer. The intensity in which he came was almost blinding. He struggled not to hurt her, though he wasn’t quite sure she would mind at the moment.  
  
Alex steadied her movements with his hand, holding her in place against him as he emptied into her. Benny collapsed again onto her hands over the vanity, and he followed her, kissing the nape of her neck.  
  
“Wow,” she said hoarsely. “What got into you?”  
  
“You,” he said, panting and struggling to catch his breath. Orgasms with her were always so incredibly more powerful and amazing than they had ever been with another partner.  
  
Benny giggled. “It’s the lingerie, isn’t it?”  
  
“May have helped,” he replied, standing up on shaking legs and stepping away from her.   
  
She turned around and jiggled, readjusting her underwear before sitting on the vanity. Benny reached for him and pulled him to her, kissing him deeply. “You better get your fill of it now. I’m going to start using mom bras soon enough.”  
  
He chuckled lowly. “I don’t really care what you wear, Benny. You’re still going to make me hard.”  
  
To make his point clear, he stepped closer to her, allowing her to feel that he was just so again.  
  
Benny grinned. “Take me to bed, Mr. Skarsgård. I’m not done with you yet.”   
  
A thrill of excited went through him at her words. To bed, indeed.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 18  
  
Benny hummed to herself as she sketched, enjoying the warm April sun on her skin and the peacefulness of her quiet backyard. She was glad for the day off from shooting and not having to worry about deadlines or telling incompetent temps how to do their job. It also gave her the opportunity to catch up on some of her own designs, particularly what she had in mind for her wedding gown.  
  
That was, ff they ever settled on a date and were able to schedule a time with the wedding planner that worked with everyone’s schedules. For the first matter, Alex’s filming dates for the two movies he planned to do that summer kept getting changed, and then Stephen and Anna had finally decided on having theirs at the end of August. Benny had imagined hers and Alex’s wedding would probably be in November or December, but that could also conflict with shooting schedules if True Blood went into preproduction at that point.  
  
Of course, there were other things complicating the matter, too. Despite the fact that she knew she loved Alex more than anything else in the world, and he felt the same for her, there was a persistent dark cloud hanging over them in the form of the contract Alex had signed with his new PR people. And with Kate. And with the movie that had been pushed back for another year and a half. While Benny had ultimately chosen to ignore her displeasure over the whole ideal, she would have been lying if she said she didn’t care about it.  
  
It was this care that continually crept back into her mind, making her second guess herself, her relationship with Alex and a marriage with him. She wanted to be sure this was it, and she certainly did not plan to go through this entire headache of a wedding if she didn’t have to. The baby was one thing and would have to be dealt with if it didn’t work out between them, but she refused to marry a man who was confused, even though he wouldn’t admit it.  
  
As it was, he was out to lunch with Kate again, leaving her alone at home when they should have been spending their mutual day off together since they had so few days to do so.  
  
But she would also be lying if she said Alex had not been attentive to her in other ways. He had. Wonderfully so. Especially in relation to the pregnancy. He made sure she had everything she needed. When she had a backache, and he was available, he would massage it away. If it was the middle of the night and she was too hot, he would get an extra blanket without complaining about it while she turned the air down even lower.  
  
Still, it would have been nice to have him go to a doctor’s appointment with her rather than working or doing something else. He had said he would try to make it to her appointment today, but he was still out, and she would have to leave in a half hour if she planned to make it.  
  
Benny sighed and signed the recent sketch before closing the book. She had better start getting ready herself. Hoisting herself from her lounge, she went into the house to jump in the shower quickly. When she came out, however, she found Alex sitting on the bed, tapping his fingers anxiously on a bent knee.  
  
“Here I thought I was late,” he said, looking at her.  
  
“You made it,” she said. She was in disbelief.  
  
Alex frowned. “I said I’d be here.”  
  
Benny nodded. “I know, it just looked like you weren’t going to make it.”  
  
“I’ve already missed enough,” he said. “Now get dressed. We _are_ running late now.”  
  
She nodded and walked to him, leaning down and kissing his lips. “I’m glad you’re here.”  
  
His smile warmed her as his hands slipped under the flaps of her towel, resting on her rounded belly. “I wouldn’t miss it.”  
  
Benny pulled away from him reluctantly, heading into the closet to find a pair of comfortable yoga pants and t-shirt. She walked back out and quickly brushed through her hair, throwing it up into a pony. “Let’s go.”  
  
Their ride was companionable but quiet as he weaved his way through the busy Los Angeles traffic to the medical building. When they stopped, Benny turned to look at him.   
  
“You sure you want to go in with me?” she asked.  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because then more people will know about us,” she said. “Those people in the waiting room—at least those who watch the show—will know. It may get out…”  
  
“I could give a flying fuck what they think about this,” he replied. “I’m going into the doctor with my wife and seeing the ultrasound and listening to the heartbeat.”  
  
Benny chuckled. “Okay then.”  
  
She got out of the car and grabbed Alex’s hand as she came around, stopping him. She knew his mood swings by now and there was definitely something up that he wasn’t saying. “Alex… is there something wrong?”  
  
“Huh?” he asked.  
  
“You seem distracted,” she replied.  
  
Alex took a heaving sigh and shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it before the appointment. Afterwards, though, we’ll talk.”  
  
That definitely did not make her feel any better about the situation. They went through the parking garage to the building and walked into the office. As Benny had predicted, every head in the room turned toward them as they entered. Most times this happened at a doctor’s office. This time, however, instead of a cursory glance, they stared and gawped whether they meant to or not.  
  
Benny pointed to a chair and Alex sat down while she signed herself in with the receptionist. She went to sit down with him, noting that a few of the women and men in the waiting room had taken out their cell phones and were typing furiously on them. Trying to ignore them, she turned to Alex, who had also noticed.  
  
“Just let it go,” he said quietly. “We’ll deal with it as it comes.”  
  
She stared at him for a moment longer, knowing this was going to piss someone off. Obviously not Alex or her, but someone somewhere would find out… and then there would be hell to pay in the publicity department. What could have possibly happened while he was out that had made him so defiant?  
  
After a bit, they were called back into an exam room, and Alex fidgeted the entire time they waited for the doctor to appear.  
  
“I hate doctor’s offices,” he said.  
  
“I find that really funny considering your mother and brother are doctors,” she replied.  
  
Alex shrugged and laughed in spite of himself. “But at least this is better than the dentist.”  
  
Benny giggled and the door opened, revealing the older man who had been her doctor since she had Harry. “Hey Benny, how’s it going.”  
  
“Good so far,” she said. “Dr. Franklin, this is my fiancé, Alex.”  
  
Her doctor turned to Alex and offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, Alex.”  
  
“Likewise,” Alex said with a tight smile.  
  
The doctor settled onto his little stool, flipping through her file and making notations as he asked her questions. It was all pretty routine to her by now, but Alex did not seem any more at ease as the exam went on and the doctor started doing the physical exam and taking measurements.  
  
“Now,” the doctor spoke, “I will need you to start monitoring your blood pressure again, Benny.”  
  
Benny hadn’t wanted to hear those words. It had been a problem when she’d Harrison as well, and she did not much relish going through this again.  
  
Dr. Franklin must have noticed her look and he gave her a small smile. “Don’t worry about it. It’s only a little elevated, but because of the problems you had with Harrison, we definitely need to take a look at it. Your blood pressure has actually been running high since before you were pregnant, probably from stress, so it’s just precautionary.”  
  
“Okay,” Benny said.  
  
“Uh… what problems with Harrison?” said the voice sitting in the chair beside the exam table. Benny turned her head and the doctor looked up.  
  
“When I had Harry, I had hypertension,” she said. “And they were worried that it would turn into preeclampsia.”  
  
“Which is…” he asked.  
  
The doctor launched into the explanation of what it was, and it was nothing that Benny hadn’t heard before. Honestly, she didn’t want to give it much attention, because it could be very serious. With Harrison, she’d had high blood pressure, but not the full on preeclampsia symptoms. She would just pray it didn’t turn into it with this pregnancy.   
  
Alex’s expression changed from confusion to complete concern, especially when the doctor mentioned that it could escalate into premature delivery in order to save both her and the child, and even then, that might not work. After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat.  
  
“Don’t worry about it now,” Dr. Franklin said. “Having a slightly elevated blood pressure when pregnant can be seen as normal, but because of Benny’s history, we’ll monitor it closely. She’ll have to go have her routine blood test and urine test that we do for all women about six months in, and we’ll go from there. If it does get worse, we’ll see about medications and it might mean bed rest.”  
  
Benny sighed and closed her eyes. “We’re nowhere close to finishing filming this season.”  
  
“Well, they’re just going to have to live with it,” Alex said firmly. “They can take their issues and shove it. I’m concerned about you and the baby.”  
  
Benny’s brows shot up involuntarily. Something must have really riled him today, and clearly, hearing this news wasn’t helping.  
  
The doctor went on with the exam and soon he had handed over the lab work order and showed them out. They paid and headed down to the lab for the testing. Alex grew even more uncomfortable and excused himself to go to the car and bring it around for her.  
  
Maybe having Alex come to the doctor’s appointment hadn’t been the best idea after all. While she didn’t much care about the fact that he was uncomfortable, she was worried about what this would mean now. He’d already been treating her like somewhat of a porcelain doll when she’d started showing. What would he do now that he knew about this problem?  
  
Benny headed out to the parking garage, finding Alex sitting in the car that he had pulled up to the elevator to wait for her. He was talking animatedly on the phone and in Swedish.  
  
“Who is it?” Benny asked.  
  
“My mom wants to talk to you,” he said, handing her the cell phone.  
  
Benny gave him an exasperated look, but took the phone from his hand. “Hey, My.”  
  
“Hi sweetie,” My said.  
  
“I told Alex everything was fine,” Benny said.  
  
My sighed. “He’s very concerned, Benny… and you should be, too.”  
  
Benny didn’t really want to be scolded by her mother-in-law. “My, I know it’s not something to just push aside. But if I focus on it all the time, it’s all I’m going to think about, and worry me more. Then there goes the blood pressure back up.”  
  
“I know,” My said. “I know. He’s just being a first time father… they’re always like this. But even if you have more children after this, he’ll probably still be like this. Alex is a worrier. He doesn’t show it outwardly, but all he does is keep it bottled up, taking everything in and shouldering the problems of everyone else. He’ll try to fix everything for those he loves.”  
  
“I had that much figured out by now,” Benny said. “My, we’re not treating this lightly. We haven’t even had time to discuss anything yet.”  
  
“Ah,” My said.  
  
“He rushed out of the lab when they were drawing my blood to get in the car,” she replied.  
  
My laughed. “Sounds like Alex.”  
  
“We’ll get it taken care of,” Benny said. “Don’t worry about it.”  
  
“I know you will,” My said. “Let me talk to Alex again.”  
  
“Okay,” Benny said, handing the phone over to Alex.  
  
After a moment of silence, he replied back in Swedish, hanging up the call. The drove in silence for some time until Benny looked at him.  
  
“First of all,” she said. “I’m fine. The baby’s fine. The hypertension I had with Harrison wasn’t so horrible, and we made it full term with little complication other than the blood pressure issue.”  
  
“Uh-huh,” he said.  
  
Benny sighed. “And secondly, what’s wrong with you? You haven’t been right since you came home.”  
  
He glanced at her and then turned his eyes back to the road. “I can’t come with you to faire this weekend.”  
  
“And why not?” she asked. It was opening weekend of the renaissance faire, and they had planned to go and spend time with family. Of course, she would also be working and selling merchandise during jousts, but it had been something she had been looking forward to doing with Alex and Harrison.  
  
“I have to work,” he said.  
  
“You’re filming?” she asked.  
  
“No,” Alex said. “My publicist—.”  
  
“Just stop there,” Benny said, holding up her hand. “I don’t want to hear it.”  
  
Alex sighed. “I’m sorry, Benny. I have to do this. I’ll try to get away earlier and come out for at least one day.”  
  
“Whatever,” Benny replied. “You know where we’ll be if you get a chance.”  
  
She breathed deeply, doing everything in her power to control her anger. No wonder he had been so odd today. Obviously he had not wanted to tell her anything about it, for fear it would upset her. And for good reason—but at least he had been honest about it.  
  
“There are seven more weekends,” she said. “We can probably go out another one.”  
  
Alex nodded. “Yeah. We’ll do that. But I’ll try like hell to be there.”  
  
“Okay,” Benny replied, resting her hands on her belly as the baby kicked and flipped. She reached over and grabbed Alex’s hand, placing it on her belly as well, watching a slow smile cross his features.   
  
At least they had this, even if Benny had a feeling it was all falling apart around them.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 19

Alexander sat in his car the following Friday, staring at the entrance to the hotel he would be staying in for the weekend while in Palm Springs. While he sat there, watching the people in front of him get out and the valet take their keys, the bellhop their luggage, Alex questioned for the billionth time the intelligence in coming to this weekend getaway with Bjorne, Lisa and Kate while his wife, son and unborn child were a few hours away doing something else. Something he had been meant to do, but instead found himself here, full of anxiety.

Honestly, the only thing this festival would give him would be some good music—maybe. And some alcohol—most likely. A headache and the feeling of horrible guilt mixed with regret—inevitable.

When they had told him about the cockamamie idea, he had literally told them to go fuck themselves. But then he’d been blackmailed into it, though thankfully not by Kate. Rather, by his PR people who had already said he would make an appearance. He made a habit of attending the appearances he had already RSVP’d for, but he knew there was a rather important appearance he would not be making this weekend. One that he should have cancelled everything to attend.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he sat in his car, a knot in his stomach, waiting for the people in front of him to hurry up so he could get to the VIP area and the booze.

Kate came out of the entrance of the hotel with Cher, her friend and stylist, and smiled a bright smile. He adored the woman, but in a strictly friendly way. Sure she was pretty. And even in some instances, the life of the party. But he hated her infatuation with the paparazzi and always being seen. He loathed having cameras shoved in his face for the sake of keeping a career alive that was fizzling out. And though he liked Kate as much as he did, they both knew her career was barely hanging on by a thread. Which he didn’t understand, because when she put her mind to it, she could really act wonderfully well.

Instead she chose the path easiest to her and rather than work for the spotlight, she simply paid people to do it for her by taking pictures of her and posting them up on websites or writing blurbs about her in gossip magazines.

Despite all this, though, he did genuinely care for her. His only fear was that she took the care the wrong way. That she expected it to turn into more and for him to leave Benny. Though, he’d also be lying to himself if he said his relationship with Benny had remained all rainbows and butterflies. As matter of fact, it could be pretty ugly at times, but he knew relationships could be hard work.

The fact that the ugliest parts always seemed to stem from his close association with Kate only made it worse. He wanted nothing more than for the two women to get along. Unfortunately, Kate wanted what she would never have, and Benny thought she shouldn’t have what she already did have. It was maddening to stand between them. Frankly, he just wanted to throw his hands up and let them duke it out.

Though he was pretty sure Benny would win in the end. She always did.

Alex parked the car and got out, taking the valet ticket from the man as he walked around the vehicle. As soon as he did, Kate was in front of him, throwing her arms about him. He instantly froze, placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled away, trying to make it seem he was helping with his luggage. But it was useless because the bellhop had already pulled out the small suitcase.

“Hi,” he said.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” Kate purred and stepped back from him. Cher stood beside him, an arched brow and smirk on her face.

Alex frowned. “Well… just let me go check in and then I’ll catch a shuttle there.”

“Don’t be silly,” Kate said. “We’re driving, and we’ll wait for you.”

“I have to wait for Lisa and Bjorne,” he said.

Kate smiled. “Then so will we.”

Alex closed his eyes for a moment and prayed that this weekend went by fast. But he knew it wouldn’t he hated the feeling in his stomach and the pain in his heart. Sure, he’d had a problem with Benny having male friends like Jai, but she had _never_ lied or omitted the whole truth about something. And he wasn’t this type of guy. Why was he starting to be one now?

With a heaving sigh, he walked into the hotel lobby to check in.

\----

Benny slumped into one of the camp chairs set up in the shade on Saturday after the last joust of the day, glad it was over. Now she only had one more day of this and she would be done. While she loved nothing more than coming out to the renaissance faire and working the crowds and spending time with her family, doing so while six months pregnant was taxing on the body. That said, though, her sales and tips had been very good for the weekend as she toted around Harry--who was a ham for attention just like every male he was related to--and her protruding stomach.

Of course, it would have been better if Alex had been here with her. He would have, at least, given her a massage or treated her like a porcelain doll. Just like he had the last few days after the last doctor’s appointment. No matter how much she tried to impress upon him that there was no need to worry right now about any complications, he still had tried his damnedest to baby her. Though, she would not necessarily complain about his attention as it had meant him being more present in her life than always being out, but she had wished he was present because he wanted to.

Not because he felt obligated by some code of morals that he had to wait on her hand and foot like this.

Despite him being present, it still felt awkward with him recently. Not so much that they had grown apart, but it felt as though he were lost, set adrift in a churning sea he could not control. In many ways, Benny felt the same about her own life, but she knew it had to be difficult for him with his odd hours shooting and then all the publicity stuff he had been doing. Add to his auditions and other business-related meetings and they barely saw each other. They’d had no time to stay connected in the past few months, and she had hoped this weekend would be a good weekend to reconnect.

But he had made other plans. Oh, she knew that he wasn’t completely responsible for whatever he had been scheduled to do for work, but it did make her feel as though work had and would always be more important than her. But, she realized, she had been the one to push that particular idea on him because she understood how Hollywood worked. Once in the club, you had to work like hell to stay in it until you got to the pinnacle of popularity and respectability like those great stars who had come before him.

Still, it didn’t make this situation any better. And she could not ask him to abandon his contracts on certain things now. It was too late.

Benny frowned, feeling her headache grow. She closed her eyes and placed her frozen water bottle to her forehead, listening to the sounds of everyone else around her packing in for the evening.

This was always the most relaxing part of the day, especially when the day’s performances had gone as spectacularly as they had and the enthusiastic crowds had been as large as they had been.

“You doing okay, Benny?”

Benny cracked an eye open and looked at her father as he passed with an Orange Crush can in his hand. “Yeah, why?”

“You look exhausted,” he said.

“I’m carrying around a small melon on my bladder, my back and feet ache, and I’m hot,” she said. “How do you think I should feel?”

He grinned and leaned over her, kissing the top of her head. “You sound just like your mother.”

Benny laughed as he disappeared into the clubhouse and then came back out with ice packs, handing them to her.

“Put them where you need them most,” he said. He pulled a wooden bench up and sat down, motioning for her to put her feet up.

“You really do love me,” Benny said playfully, sticking one ice pack on her lower back between her chemise and skirt waist. The other went down her cleavage, held in place by the maternity garb she was wearing for the weekend. She sighed and closed her eyes again. “Ah, this is heaven.”

Her father laughed and sipped his drink. “Now are you going to tell me why Alex isn’t here doing this for you?”

“He’s working, Dad,” she said.

He looked at her with an unconvinced stare.

Benny rolled her eyes. “No, I don’t know what he’s doing, but he’s busy. I have to trust him.”

“Are we so sure this trust isn’t misplaced?” he asked.

“Dad, stop,” she said. “I can’t think about it at the moment. My head aches.”

“Mommy?”

Benny glanced to her side, finding Harrison there. His face and hands were covered in chocolate. “I see Aunt Joie took you to get chocolate strawberries.”

“Uh-huh!” Harry nodded. “And guess what!”

“What?”

“Look who we found!” he said excitedly.

Benny’s heart skipped, wondering if it wasn’t Alex who had come to surprise them after all. Before she could get up from her chair, her eyes were covered with massive hands. But she knew almost instantly it wasn’t Alex. When he touched her in any capacity, her skin tingled.

But they _were_ male hands, nonetheless.

“Guess who,” said the pleasant Australian accent.

“Jai?” she said, pushing his hands away and standing up. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, I’ve been here all day,” he said. “I just never could find a chance to get you to notice me.”

Benny grinned and threw her arms around him. His own arms encircled her in a hug, but it wasn’t very firm, no doubt because he was being careful. “I won’t break, I promise.”

He hugged her more tightly and kissed her cheek. “It’s good to see you.”

She giggled. “Likewise. I’m sorry I didn’t stick around after the jousts like I usually do, or I would have seen you. I just wanted to get back here and rest.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with a grin and stepped back from her.

Benny wondered how she had actually missed the massive man if he had truly been there all day. Of course, he may have been behind the standing crowds that had been so huge. Still, she was happy to see him. Most everyone knew him from the few times he had been visiting and her family had been around. And other people recognized him because their new favorite show was Spartacus, and they were quick to introduce themselves.

“What are you doing here?” she asked when she finally had a moment to speak with him. “Shouldn’t you be doing press or something?”

“Well, we did,” he said. “Andy is here, too, but we went out to Coachella yesterday and decided to come up this way to see you. But he was feeling poorly today.”

Benny frowned. “Oh, how is he? I haven’t had a chance to talk with him at all since they released the statement.”

“You’ll see,” he said. “We’ll all go out before we head back to Australia. He has good days and bad days, unfortunately, today was just one of the latter.”

“Yeah,” Benny said. “I have to see him.”

Jai chuckled. “He’ll feel better just seeing you, I’m sure.”

“He better,” Benny joked. “So you diverted your whole trip many hours out of the way from Palm Springs to come see me at faire? Was Coachella really that bad?”

“No, it was great,” he said. “As I’m sure you’ve heard from Alex.”

“What about Alex?” Benny froze. She knew something hadn’t been right. Now to have it confirmed, it stole her breath. So he was lying?

Jai pursed his lips and Benny saw the change in his eyes. “You didn’t know he was at Coachella?” While he honestly had thought Benny would know this, he still could not mask the hint of triumph evident in his eyes. It was a look that made him seem hopeful he was looking at the end of her and Alex’s relationship.

And frankly, right at this moment, Benny wouldn’t have cared one iota if her relationship did end with the liar.

“He said he was working,” Benny said. “Not at… at… Coachella.”

She closed and opened her mouth again, the next question on her tongue, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask it. She just couldn’t force herself to do so.

But it was her father, who stood behind her, who did ask it. “And who was he there with?”

Jai didn’t say anything but met her dad’s eyes with a meaningful look. Benny felt like she’d been punched in the stomach. She had to sit down.

Before this, she may not have liked the deal he had made with Kate, but it had been barey tolerable because he had told her every little thing he was doing with her. But now he had started lying. And omitting some of the facts.

He was cheating on her.

The realization hit her even more forcefully as she collapsed onto the bench she had been resting her feet on just moments ago. Maybe he wasn’t cheating. Maybe he just hadn’t wanted to worry or anger her about it.

Maybe…

The excuses died on her lips, a pain ripping through her chest. It didn’t dissipate quickly. It literally felt like her heart had broken in half. Having lived through this before was one thing, especially with JC. But with Alex, she had thought and hoped it would all be different. That _he_ would be different. That a man—even one as beautiful as Alex—could possibly love someone like her sustainably for their whole lives.

Without lying.

“I don’t feel well,” Benny said, clutching her head. The aching from her headache had increased a million times and the blood pounded in her ears. She needed to go cool off.

She needed to go and do something. Anything.

This wasn’t happening to her again. It _couldn’t_ be happening. She would just go call him and ask him what he was on about, then she would take it from there.

Benny stood, but as soon as she did, she knew it was too fast, because she felt faint and her legs crumbling beneath. The last thing she noticed before passing out were strong arms grabbing her to keep her from hitting the ground.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 20  
  
Kate was in love.  
  
In love with the attention she had been getting from people all around her this weekend. In love with the paparazzi hounding them. In love with the stories and photos published all over the internet since they had shown up to the festival on Friday.  
  
And she was in love with Alex.  
  
With a happy sigh, she looked back at the bed where the man was still tangled up in bed sheets, fully clothed. After the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed last night, she wasn’t surprised he had passed out as quickly as they had entered her room to escape the photographers who had found them at the hotel. Alex had nearly gotten into a physical altercation with one of them at the party, and they had followed them back in hopes of riling him enough without security present to make it worse.  
  
Then they really would have gotten their story.  
  
However, Kate had truly hoped coming back to her room would have gone further than it did. She felt that her game had been spot on all weekend, and slowly but surely, she was whittling away whatever hold that huge whale of fiancée had on him. It had seemed like he would ask her to stay the night, or at least make some move toward her. And frankly, she just didn’t care that he was drunk. Once was enough to cause trouble.  
  
Really, Kate didn’t understand what Alex saw in Benny. Sure, she was attractive in her own way, but more like a Greek statue than a true beauty, and that wasn’t saying much. She wasn’t flashy. And she could probably stand to lose a few pounds. Neither did she find Benny to be exceedingly friendly or accepting.  
  
But then Kate knew Benny wasn’t stupid. Benny knew Alex didn’t belong with her at all, and deserved some one more like herself… Kate knew if she were in Benny’s position, she would have not been kind to anyone pursuing him.  
  
She had had every intention of doing just that when they first met while filming the movie, after James had initially rebuffed her. Alex was fresh off a successful season on his show, and was ripe for the picking, she thought. But then one night when they were rehearsing together and she had made a move, he had rebuffed her, telling her that he was married.  
  
Blindsided was probably too light a word for what she felt. But she had also been elated after it had been discovered the wedding was a fake.  
  
When she found out that the movie wouldn’t be released for awhile, she had talked to the right people to make sure to concoct this deal with Alex. Sure, it might help the movie in the long run, but she had honestly just done it so she could exert her power over him and keep him away from Benny. All the while, she wouldn’t be blamed for the breakup and he could then go to her without ever knowing the better.  
  
And so far, it had been working. Too well, actually. Of course, a part of the reason it had been working was that Benny had gotten pregnant. The stress of that was eating away at their relationship whether they realized it or not.  
  
Yet, Benny still had her claws deeply in him and Kate could not figure out how to finally extricate them. Maybe she might do it with these pictures. Surely Benny wouldn’t be happy when she saw the photos of her on Alex’s shoulders, or the crotch grab, or even the little kiss she had given Alex. Sure, the kiss had been to his finger while he held a beer to his lips, but a picture was worth a thousand words, wasn’t it?  
  
And no one saw how uncomfortable he had been around her afterward, so it didn’t matter to her much. She had the picture she wanted posted up everyone.  
  
The cell phone beside the computer started buzzing again, for the tenth time in the past hour, all of them from the same person: Stephan Cowan. There had been calls from Joie last night after Alex had already passed out, but Kate had turned the sound off. The renewed buzzing this morning had been what had awoken her. She grabbed the phone and hit end, deleting the missed call. The battery clicked up that it had only ten percent power left and would shut down soon.  
  
Well, good. He had said yesterday he forgot to grab his outlet charger and would have to plug it into his car the next time he was in it.  
  
Kate heard stirring behind her and quickly shut down her computer, turning to look back at the bed. He lifted his hand to cover his eyes and groaned. “What time is it?”  
  
“Almost noon,” she said.  
  
“Fuck, I drank too much,” he said.  
  
Kate stood up and grabbed an aspirin and a bottle of water, taking it over to him. He removed his hand and looked up at her, his eyes merely slits. “Here, take this.”  
  
“Thanks,” he said, sitting up. Obviously he wasn’t nauseous as he quickly downed the aspirin and water bottle.  
  
“The heat probably did it,” she replied.  
  
He sighed. “Yeah, probably… thanks for letting me crash here, Kate. I wouldn’t have made it up to my room last night.”  
  
“No worries,” she replied cheerfully and walked back over to the desk she had been sitting at. “But I’m totally ready to get going to the festival now. We’ve missed a couple bands already.”  
  
“Yeah,” he said. “Just let me go get cleaned up.”  
  
Kate nodded. “Sure.”  
  
He stood up slowly and stretched his arms over his head, his shirt dragging up and revealing his wonderful, tanned skin. She felt her tongue brush her lip at the sight and she looked away, blushing. He blinked his eyes a few times.  
  
Alex reached into his pocket, obviously looking for his phone and room key.  
  
“Have you seen my phone?” he asked.  
  
“No,” she replied. “But it’s probably somewhere in the bed.”  
  
He pulled the covers back, searching for it. When he didn’t find it, he frowned. “My head hurts too much to be doing that.”  
  
“I’ll look for it,” she replied. “You go get ready and I’ll go through everything.”  
  
“Thanks,” he said. “I’ll be down in about a half hour if you want to round everyone up.”  
  
Kate nodded. “See you then.”  
  
He left the room with that and Kate watched the door for a moment, letting a smile cross her face. Yes, everything was going to plan. Now she just had to drain the rest of the battery and keep him from his car until they left tomorrow afternoon.  
  
\----  
  
Benny woke to the soft beeps of medical equipment, and after a few moments, oriented herself to where she was and what had happened the last time she had been awake. She had resumed consciousness after the onsite faire paramedics arrived, but she had been airlifted off site because of the traffic and because of the high risk of her problems.  
  
After she had arrived to the hospital, she had passed out again, only to wake fleetingly through the night a few times. But now as the world around her began to come back to life, her brain was running a thousand miles a minute. Her anxiety made her stomach ache.  
  
She looked down and dropped her hands to her belly, running her hands over it, silently praying that everything was okay.  
  
“Oh, good, you’re awake,” said a soft voice beside her. Benny turned to look at the nurse who was writing something in her chart. “I’ll let the doctor know.”  
  
Benny opened her mouth to reply, but it felt like she had swallowed cotton. “May I have some water or ice?”  
  
“I’ll have the CNA bring you some water,” the friendly older nurse said. “You just lay there and relax.”  
  
She didn’t reply as fear ripped through her again. The machine beside her started beeping.  
  
The nurse smiled. “I’m Helen, by the way, Benny, if you need me. Just hit this button.”  
  
She indicated the button and reset something on her IV.  
  
“What… is it?” she asked.  
  
Helen looked at her. “The doctor will be in to discuss it with you, love.”  
  
Benny frowned as the nurse disappeared out the door to go to her next patient. But a soft kick from her midsection told her enough. It relieved her enough that she closed her eyes and let out a sigh. At least the baby was okay.  
  
For now.  
  
Shadows fell across the doorway and she glanced over to find her mother and father, both nearly rushing to get to her. Her mother stopped beside her bed, her hand reaching out and brushing back the hair from her face, leaning over to kiss her forehead. “Oh, thank god you’re okay.”  
  
Her father did the same, but didn’t say anything. The look in his blue eyes was enough to know what he was feeling.  
  
“H-have you gotten in touch with Alex?” Benny asked, feeling her lips quiver. She wouldn’t cry.  
  
Both her mother and father looked at each other for a minute, and finally her mother shook her head. “No.”  
  
She pursed her lips together and closed her eyes. Her reply was watery. “Okay.”  
  
“Baby, don’t you even think about him,” Steve said. “He’s not important right now.”  
  
Benny wanted to disagree, but she didn’t have the fight left in her. She felt too weak. “Have you spoken with the doctor?”  
  
“Yes,” Steve replied. “It’s extreme acute high blood pressure.”  
  
“Eclampsia?”  
  
Her mother shook her head. “No, thankfully, just high blood pressure for now… but it could turn into it at any moment if your kidneys start to give out.”  
  
“Lovely,” Benny said.  
  
“They think it’s going to be bed rest until the baby is born,” Trish said.  
  
Benny frowned. “I can’t do that… I have to work…”  
  
“No you don’t,” Steve said. “And if you do, I’m going to go down to that studio myself and give them a piece of my mind.”  
  
“… especially now that I won’t have another income.”  
  
Her mother became teary. “Don’t you think for one minute that all of your friends and family wouldn’t get together to take care of you in this situation.”  
  
“Mom, I can’t,” she said.  
  
“You can and you will,” her father said, a firm finality in his voice.  
  
Benny sighed heavily. “How’s Harry… did he see what happened?”  
  
“He was very scared,” Trish replied.  
  
“But Jai had him under control almost instantly,” Steve replied. “Joie and Josh took him for the night so we could be here.”  
  
“Oh, who’s your master of arms?” Benny asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be there?”  
  
Steve shook his head. “Mansour caught the first flight from Atlanta last night.”  
  
“Dad! You didn’t call Matt,” she said.  
  
“Of course I did,” he replied. “He is your godfather.”  
  
Benny ground her teeth.  
  
“Besides, if you think Mansour is going to be the one to inflict the most damage on the idiot, you’ll be wrong,” her mother said. “He has to go through me first. No one messes with my babies.”  
  
Benny laughed at that. Her mother was always the levelheaded one of her parents, but when she got fired up, there was no stopping her. She rested her head back on her pillow and sighed.  
  
“My god, how do I get myself into these things?” she asked.  
  
“You’re a Cowan. We do shit like this all the time,” her father answered.  
  
“But to be fair, we didn’t expect something like this from Alex,” Trish said.  
  
Benny sighed. “I know he lied about where he was, but it may have just been going to a concert with her.”  
  
Her mother’s lips pursed distastefully. “Benny, he didn’t just go to the concert. We’ve seen the pictures so far of the weekend... and it doesn’t look promising.”  
  
Her tears reformed anew. She brushed them away as her mother handed her a tissue. “I’m not letting you make the same mistakes you did last time by trying to make it work with JC. You’re not going to go back to him and you’re not going to allow him any visitation with the baby.”  
  
“Mom,” she said.   
  
“Whatever. All I know is that we’ll spruce up your old bedroom at the ranch, and clean out your dad’s man cave for the kids,” she said.   
  
Benny sighed. “Only until I can find a place again.”  
  
“You’re staying with us for as long as you want, and definitely until you at least have the baby,” Steve said.   
  
“I’m thirty years old, Dad,” she said. “I refuse to be one of those children.”  
  
“Benny, stop worrying about it now,” her mother said. “We’ll get it figured out later. Right now, you just need to focus on you and the baby.”  
  
Benny knew her mother was right, but no matter how much she wanted to forget about the clusterfuck her life had become in a short time, it was impossible. She was pregnant with a child whose father had once again gone to greener pastures.  
  
\----  
  
Alex pulled his hat lower, shielding the bright sunlight from his face as he stepped out into the front entrance where Kate was waiting for him. She smiled brightly and held up his cell phone. “It was buried deep in the sheets,” she announced.  
  
He grimaced at the proclamation, noticing the big eyes on the people around them. Surely they would be salivating to gossip about this now. The paparazzi would definitely enjoy the information, especially seeing as he had had no peace to himself all weekend with the cameras in his face. And they had caught so many questionable shots, he decided just to make the best of it.  
  
They were going to have a field day with this story, but he knew that was the point. It was what Robyn and Kate had talked him into doing after Straw Dogs to take the attention off of his impending marriage and Benny. Stupidly, he had agreed. The problem now was that he found it increasingly difficult to get out of this huge mess he had made for himself. For one, Straw Dogs had been pushed back yet again, and they needed the attention. Secondly, because Kate was always around when she could be.  
  
He almost felt bad for her. She had very few friends in LA because of bad decisions in her past, and the ones she did have all seemed to be on a very surface level. No one actually _cared_ for her because she was a good person or a fun person to be around. Of course, there were other issues at play there that he was well aware of, but he felt it was only right to remain friends with her. Because he did love her.  
  
As a friend.  
  
Their personalities were too different. Their work and moral philosophies were like night and day. And good god, her body did absolutely nothing for him. Sure, she was adorable, but he preferred a little bit more to grab onto in a woman.  
  
Yet, the camera didn’t show that. He was an affectionate man with very little need for personal space—it was the Swedish part of him. He believed everything should be done in big groups and that you hugged and kissed friends, wrapped your arm around their shoulders when close, or reached out to touch them when you spoke directly to them.  
  
But Americans didn’t understand that closeness. They were all wrapped up in their own little bubbles and when they saw other people doing something that he thought was completely normal behavior, they had a field day.  
  
Like last night at the party, when they got up in his face and he had retaliated.  
  
He grumbled and took the phone from her. He tried to turn the phone on, but it was dead. “Great.”  
  
“It was off when I found it,” she said.  
  
“Let’s take my car then, so I can plug it in,” he said.  
  
“I already gave the valet my stuff,” she said.   
  
Alex frowned. “Eh... I guess it can wait.”  
  
Benny wouldn’t be calling anyway. She hadn’t called all weekend since he had left Friday from the studio and she had stayed to work. And she was probably out working anyway.  
  
He stuffed the phone in his pocket as Kate’s Lexus pulled up beside them with the valet in the driver’s seat. When he got back tonight he’d call her from the hotel phone. She would be home by then and relaxing, anyway.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 21  
  
Alex pulled his phone off the charger and looked at the screen for the first time since getting in the car that afternoon, finding that it had been on silent and there were quite a few messages waiting for him. He got out of his car and hit the button, listening to his greeting and dialing in his pass code. The first message was from Benny’s dad.  
  
“Look, I’ve tried calling a hundred times at least,” said the angry voice on the other end. “Frankly, I wouldn’t have tried if Benny hadn’t kept asking that I do.”  
  
Alex frowned. What had happened that he’d gotten such a call from _him_? That was, of course, unless they had seen the reports from this weekend. He would have expected an irate call from _her_ more than her father. His stomach clenched, though, making him uneasy. He deleted the message and moved on to the next, also from Stephan.  
  
“Okay, this is my last fucking attempt. If you don’t have the fucking decency to call back because you’re too chicken shit about running around on Benny, then at least call me about your child, you good for nothing—”  
  
“Stephan! Stop it. _You’ll_ give yourself a stroke,” said Trish on the other end.  
  
“Just call us,” he said and hung up abruptly.  
  
Alex deleted this message, his pulse increasing tenfold. He knew he would not be liked for what he had done this weekend, but he had not imagined this anger. But something in the way he was speaking worried Alex. A lot.  
  
The next message was from his own mother, who remained even tempered, but he knew the tone well enough. It was the tone that spoke of a disappointment so great, she was doing everything she could to not unleash it. “Alexander, you need to call me as soon as you get this. And just so you know, I don’t care how tall or old you are, I am still your mother and _extremely_ disappointed in you. I can still do something about it.”  
  
Alex pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it, not knowing what he should do. Maybe this was all just some bad dream. He had known from the moment Kate had said his phone had died he should have plugged it in. There had been a feeling in his stomach that he should have found a charger first thing.  
  
Of course, there had also been a twist in his stomach telling him he probably shouldn’t have gone to Coachella to begin with. But he had ignored that, too.  
  
Unfortunately, he didn’t have to make a decision about what to do and who to call as a shadow fell in his path. He looked up to find Tess standing in front of him before she slapped him.  
  
Hard.  
  
“It’s about damn time you showed your face,” she scolded. “We’ve been calling you the whole weekend! Who the fuck do you think you are? Where the fuck have you been? Oh, wait, I know… you were at a fucking music festival with a skanky ass bag of bones who wants you for yourself… while your wife and mother of your child is in the hospital.”  
  
For being rather quiet and straight laced, Tess had a mouth on her. But it was what he needed at the moment. He needed someone to say these things to him despite the fact that she was on HBO time and had just hit a coworker.  
  
“She’s… in the hospital?” he asked, the wind leaving his sails. “What for?”  
  
“Oh, you don’t even have the right to ask. I don’t think I should even tell you what hospital,” she said. “But for some misguided reason, she wants to see you.”  
  
“Where is she?”  
  
Tess sighed. “The airlifted her to Good Sam on Wilshire.”  
  
“They had to airlift her?”  
  
“The faire site is not easy to get in and out of and she was critical because of the pregnancy,” Tess said. “You need to stop talking to me and go. Now.”  
  
“But Alan…”  
  
“I will tell Alan. He’ll just have to deal,” Tess said. “And Alex?”  
  
“Yeah?” he asked.  
  
“Not cool, man,” she said. “You deserve everything you get for this.”  
  
That was ominous, but he knew it was true. As though on autopilot, he got in the car and plugged in the destination on his GPS. He drove through traffic, completely numb to everything. As he parked at in the parking lot, he blinked in front of him, trying to remember his drive here. He couldn’t remember a thing.  
  
He got out of the car and tried to remain dignified about it, but he certainly didn’t walk. Nor did he run, though he wanted to. The last thing he needed right now was the paparazzi swarming the place.  
  
He walked to the front desk; the young girl behind the desk did a double take before her eyes opened wide.  
  
“May I help you?” she asked.  
  
“I need the room for Bernadette Cowan,” he said.  
  
She typed into her computer. “She’s in room 720. Obstetrics.”  
  
“Thanks,” he said, turning and heading toward the elevator across the hall.  
  
All the way up, his stomach clenched tighter and tighter, and he felt as though he would vomit. Or pass out. Maybe both. He had done some pretty idiotic things in his life, but this was the worst. Made even more horrible by Kate’s involvement in it.  
  
Had she done anything? Did she know he’d been receiving calls, but had let the phone die before bringing it down to him?  
  
No. She couldn’t have. While he was aware of her interest in him, he just couldn’t imagine her to be so cold or calculating. Could she?  
  
The elevator doors opened up onto the floor and he walked down the hall, counting down numbers to 720. But before he could reach the door, he was body slammed into the wall. Alex put his hands up defensively, meeting the eyes of the man who had pushed him to the wall. It was Benny’s godfather, Matt.  
  
Oh god, this was bad if they had called him in.  
  
“Glad you could join us,” he said lowly.  
  
Alex didn’t say anything. He knew better.  
  
“What did I tell you at Thanksgiving?” he asked.  
  
Alex swallowed. Any other man may not have been as scary—not even Benny’s father. But Matt had an inch and about fifty pounds on him. At least.  
  
“Hmm?” he asked, his arm under his chin pressing more against his throat.  
  
“That if I ever hurt Benny you would hurt me worse,” he said.  
  
“That’s right,” Matt said. “And guess what you did?”  
  
Alex cringed as Matt drew a fist back, but they were stopped by a stern voice beside them. “Gentlemen, is there a problem?”  
  
Matt separated and they both looked at the security guard. “No, sorry. I’ll take care of this idiot later.”  
  
“Sir, if you’re threatened, I can call the cops,” the guard said.  
  
“No,” Alex muttered. “I deserve it.”  
  
“Damn right you do,” Matt said and stepped back from him.  
  
Alex brushed past the giant man and went four more doors down to 720. The door was closed. He knocked and was allowed admittance. As soon as he walked in, the energy in the air changed. Trish sat up straight in her chair and Stephan stood up, his fists balling instantly. Finally his eyes fell on Benny, who was propped up on the hospital bed, looking terrible and attached to many different beeping machines.  
  
“Thanks for showing up,” she said flatly as he stopped beside her bed. He reached out to touch her, but she moved her hand away from him. “Don’t touch me.”  
  
He withdrew his hand and realized the wall that had been erected between them. It was the same wall that had been there when they had first started seeing each other a year ago. This time, however, there was no feeling in her eyes. His mouth went dry and he felt tears stinging the back of his eyes. But he was a man and he wouldn’t cry. He had made a mistake. A huge one. One that he would have to live with for the rest of his life. One that he would suffer the consequences of likely for the rest of his life.  
  
“Mom, Dad, please go out,” she said. “I need to talk to Alex alone.”  
  
Trish nodded and had to pull Steve out the door. The door shut with a finality he did not like.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he heard himself say, though it was knee-jerk. Yes, he was profoundly remorseful, but he knew it would fall on deaf ears.  
  
Benny took in a deep breath and let it out. She was trying to keep from crying, too. “I’m sorry, too. Sorry I trusted you. Sorry I did what you wanted… I gave you my heart even though you knew my trust issues. Sorry I let you promise me the world and that I believed it.”  
  
Alex kept his mouth shut. What did he say to her to make it better? Would anything ever make it better?  
  
“I might have forgiven you for going to Coachella,” she said. “But then when I was rushed to the hospital, you ignored me. Your little whore on the side was more important than us. Sitting by the fucking pool with your hands all over her, and her laying all over you was more important than us. I see how I rank now.”  
  
Alex scoffed, speaking without thinking. Honestly, he couldn’t believe those pictures had been released already--they had only taken place this morning. It angered him, just like the cameras around all the time. “You told me to do this. You always said how important it was for me to keep up appearances for my career.”  
  
“I _never_ said to go fuck someone else to do it!” she exclaimed. “I never told you to cook up a PR plan with some washed up actress for the sake of your career. _You_ chose that path... and even when the troubles started, you didn’t try to get out of it. Really, that should have told me from the beginning.”  
  
It was true. This was the plan he had agreed to at the behest of the studio. He could have just told them to stuff it, take the hit to his career and the life he wanted to create for Benny. He could have. But for some reason, he had allowed other people to push and pull him all over the place. Meanwhile, everyone but Benny had gotten what they really deserved.  
  
Now it was too late.  
  
“My mom and dad are taking Harry and me back to the ranch,” she said. “Due to stress, the high blood pressure has become a problem. It’s not preeclampsia yet, but it could become that any day. I’m on light bed rest until the baby is born, so my mom can help me being at her house.”  
  
“No. You don’t need to,” he said. “I’ll leave the house. It’s your house. I bought it for you. I’ll leave... if that’s what you want me to do.”  
  
Benny grunted. “All I want you to do is leave me alone. Learn a lesson so you don’t do this to someone else. Do something without me. I’m tired of falling victim to pretty promises from handsome men in show business.”  
  
“The baby...” he said.  
  
“When the baby is born, we’ll discuss visitation then,” she said.  
  
Alex clenched his jaw. He honestly did not know what to do or say. He had never been any good at break ups, and this most assuredly was one. Benny’s wall was well fortified, and the level of armor she had in addition to the wall was staggering. He had never felt so out of place or out of sorts in her presence. Before this, they were perfect together like two puzzle pieces meant to spend eternity together. Now, though, it was like one of them had been mangled never to fit in that same place again.  
  
She had not looked at him as he spoke, but as the silence grew heavier, she lifted her eyes to meet his. Doing this was killing her, but the hatred in the blue depths chilled him to the core.  
  
“Please go,” she said.  
  
Alex thought, as he walked toward the door and closed it behind him, how strange it was that he had a million things he could say to her, and yet none of them came out. None of them would have been a bandage to this mess he had created for himself. Was this really how it was all going to end? And why was he walking out like this? Just leaving her in silence?  
  
He stood outside the door, his mind blank as he stared at the nurses sitting in the nursing station. They were watching him, but kept looking back to their work. Shaking his head, he walked the way he had come, this time passing the waiting room where some of Benny’s closest relations sat. They all look at him as he paused by the door.  
  
Matt stood up again and took a few steps toward him and Alex stepped back, holding his hands up defensively. “Look, I know I have nothing to say that will make this situation any better. I will respect Benny’s wishes and leave her alone. I will also do whatever I have to for the baby and Harry, including leaving the house.”  
  
With that, he turned and headed toward the elevators. The fact that they didn’t follow him both calmed and worried him at the same time. Matt had promised physical pain, and yet he did not seek to do anything. Did that mean he approved of what he said? Or had it made it worse and they were now plotting his death to come at another time?  
  
Alex hung his head as he stepped into the elevator, unable to think. But his reality was clear. He had lost the the only people that had mattered to him in his life because he had been an idiot. Because he had succumbed to the evils of listening to other people for his supposed happiness, when the happiness he had wanted all along had been staring at him in the face-- fame or not.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 22  
  
Benny relaxed as Matt and her father eased her into her bed at home a few days later. The doctor had only given her a prescription of light bed rest, though it included no major household chores or working, but she had felt weak after nearly a week in the hospital. Luckily they had been there with her to help her up the long flight of stairs to her bedroom.  
  
“We need to think about moving you into one of the guest rooms downstairs for now,” her dad said. “Especially if you’re going to stay here instead of coming to the ranch. You can’t be doing all those stairs all the time.”  
  
Benny sighed. “We’ll talk about it later. I’m really tired and would like to take a nap.”  
  
“If you need anything, we’ll be downstairs,” Matt said, pulling a bullhorn out of the bag he was carrying. “Just hit it.”  
  
She laughed at him and took the horn, looking it over. “You guys make me laugh.”  
  
“We try,” Matt said. “Now go sleep. Joie is bringing Harry back in a few hours.”  
  
“Okay,” she said. She had only seen Harry once and for a very short period of time since this whole ordeal began, mostly because he did not understand what was wrong with his mommy and fussed nonstop in the hospital.  
  
After some more fussing on her father’s and Matt’s parts, they both walked out the door. She waited a moment to hear their voices descending the stairs before she swung her legs on the side of the bed and stood up carefully, holding onto the headboard. Finding her legs, she hobbled along the wall into the closet she shared with Alex. Well, _had_ shared with him, anyway.  
  
As though she needed more confirmation that this was all over—other than the note he had left her downstairs—a good amount of his clothing had been removed. All of his normal favorites were gone. In the bathroom, his side of the marbled vanity was cleared of his things.  
  
For the first time it really hit home. She had been through this once before, but not in this capacity. She had never loved someone like she had loved Alex, and to have been hurt so deeply by him ripped her heart to shreds. The reality of the situation floored her. And all she could do was sob. Benny sat onto the cold marble floor, leaning back against the wall. God, how had she let this happen?   
  
She wasn’t sure how long she had sat there, but her eyes and throat were raw from crying when there was a knock at the bathroom door.  
  
“Benny?” said the soft Australian accent.  
  
She looked up to find Jai standing in the doorway, looking as good as ever with an expression of pity on his face. Benny sniffled and wiped at her cheeks. “What are you doing here?”  
  
“I came to see you,” he said.  
  
“Aren’t you supposed to be in Australia by now?” she asked.  
  
“Technically, yes,” he said. “But you know, sometimes good friends are more important than anything else in the world.”  
  
Benny nodded. He lowered onto the tile beside her, stretching his legs out in front of him.  
  
“I also wanted to come apologize,” he said. “I feel somewhat responsible for causing all this.”  
  
“Causing what?” Benny asked. “You didn’t tell Alex to be an idiot. He did that all on his own.”  
  
“No, I mean for saying what I did at faire,” he said.  
  
Benny picked at the edge of her shirt. “That’s not your fault, and I would have seen it eventually. Besides, my blood pressure was already sorta high, so it was bound to happen.”  
  
“Maybe not,” he said. “I know enough of the body to know that the stress you put it under working out there and me heaping all that shit on you didn’t help matters.”  
  
“Well, you’re absolved,” she said. “So quit trying to be the martyr.”  
  
He cracked a small smile. “I’ll stop.”  
  
“Good,” she said.  
  
Silence passed as she sniffled. It was nice just sitting there with him. He was comforting to her like a giant teddy bear.  
  
“You know...” he started slowly, glancing at her and then diverting his eyes.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“My, uh, feelings haven’t changed,” he said.  
  
Benny looked at him. “Just stop there, Jai. You can be my friend through this, and nothing more. Right now, this chick is off limits to any other person with a dick.”  
  
He blushed sheepishly. “Sorry... I just wanted to say that if in the future you find something more... I’ll be here.”  
  
“Don’t wait for me,” she said. “I doubt I’ll ever get there. Not after this. He was that soul mate that no one else will have any hope of replacing. It was just my luck he was such a fucking douche. I seem to attract those types of people... not you, of course. At least I hope not you.”  
  
“I think watching this shit and the way it has broken you, I will definitely make a point of being careful in the future,” he said. “But it also does give a person pause when trying to believe in love.”  
  
Benny sighed. “You’ll find someone one day, Jai. Just remember this and remember what happens when you let your career take over. Don’t do what we did.”  
  
“I won’t,” he replied.  
  
She nodded and moved away from the wall, attempting to stand up. Jai stood quickly and helped her. Soon she was back in bed and she looked up at Jai. “I’m glad you’re here, Jai. It’s nice to have someone who isn’t a family member who cares so much for me.”  
  
“Babe,” he said. “You have a whole boatload of people who care for you and who are all very angry with Alex at the moment. Many of them are downstairs right now.”  
  
Benny smiled. “I know. One day I’ll find a way to pay them and you back.”  
  
“You don’t need to,” he said, touching her cheek. “Just keep being who you are and don’t let this change you.”  
  
“Mommy?!” she heard the small voice call from downstairs followed by the sound of small feet on the stairs and Josh calling to Harry.  
  
“No, Harry, Mommy’s asleep,” Josh said. “We have to wait.”  
  
“Let him in, Josh,” Benny said, sitting up.  
  
Jai smiled. “I’ll go and let you spend time with him.”  
  
“Thanks,” she said. The door burst open and Harry ran head long toward the bed.  
  
“Mommy!”  
  
Josh was on his heels and lifted him onto the bed for her. “I could have gotten it, Josh. I’m not broken.”  
  
The look on his face told her otherwise. He smiled. “Just yell when you want to sleep.”  
  
“I will,” Benny said. Jai slipped out the door ahead of Josh and she was finally left alone with Harry, who had crawled in her lap and latched himself onto her. She wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tight, breathing in his familiar scent. Instead of struggling to get away, he merely sat there with her.  
  
“Mommy, I miss you!” he said.  
  
“I missed you, too, baby,” she said.  
  
“You sick?”  
  
Benny smiled. “I’m fine… but I get to stay home with you from now on.”  
  
“Weally?”  
  
“Yep,” she said. “We’ll have a lot of fun playing games and watching cartoons and—”  
  
“—And weading?” he asked.  
  
“Yes, and reading,” Benny said, kissing his forehead.  
  
“Cool,” he said.  
  
Benny laughed at him.  
  
“Where Awex?” he asked innocently.  
  
Benny sighed. How did she tell her son—their son for all intents and purposes—that he again was left without a father? Sure, Alex had said he would take care of Harry as well, but that didn’t replace the interaction of having a father in his life, even if the father was away on shooting schedules most of the time. However, Alex wouldn’t be around now. Not in the sense that Harry deserved.  
  
God, she was such a horrible mother to put him into this situation.  
  
“He’s busy with work,” Benny said quickly. The tears were coming back and stinging her eyes. “Like Mommy was a little while ago.”  
  
He seemed to understand and nodded his head. “Okay.”  
  
Benny sniffled.  
  
“Mommy, I love you,” he said and kissed her.  
  
“I love you, too,” she smiled. “I’m really sleepy, baby. Go see Uncle Josh.”  
  
“No!” he said, his tiny fingers gripping onto her more firmly. “I stay.”  
  
Benny looked into his large blue eyes, her heart breaking in a different place this time. There was no fight left in her, not with that look on his face. “You have to lay quietly with me, then.”  
  
“Okay,” he said.  
  
Benny repositioned herself under the covers, laying on her side. Harry followed quickly, tossing pillows all over the place and settled into a spot plastered against her. He pulled the covers up to his chin and looked at her. Benny reached out and brushed a loose eyelash on his cheek.  
  
“See the eyelash?” she asked.  
  
He nodded.  
  
“Blow it and make a wish,” she replied.  
  
“A wish?” He looked confused.  
  
“Like something you want. A toy. A book. A horse…” she said. “But don’t tell me. The wish may not come true if you tell me.”  
  
“Okay,” he said. He squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips, his nose crinkling. Then he blew the eyelash and opened his eyes with a laugh.  
  
Benny laughed with him. It felt good to laugh and at something so simple, too. But the laugh turned into a yawn.  
  
“Go sleep, Mommy,” he said. “I stay here.”  
  
“Okay, baby,” she said, closing her eyes. Harry flopped around again a few more times but eventually he settled into a spot before she had fallen asleep. She cracked an eye open to find his eyes shut and his chest rising and falling in slumber.  
  
Benny sighed and shut her eyes again. Despite her life being in a complete shambles, it was nice to be reminded that she was both needed and loved by so many people. And it was that bit of knowledge that would see her through this madness.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 23  
  
Benny had never been so angry in her life. She wanted to throw the laptop across the room and then take a hammer to it, just to get the images of that whore sitting on the lap she had only officially vacated a few months before off the screen How dare that bitch do this? How dare she look happy? And how _dare_ he allow her to do such a thing?  
  
Even now, she had held out hope it was just some big fucking misunderstanding. Alex would come to her, he would fight for her and try to get her to see that it was a misunderstanding, and they would begin to repair what they had. It would never be what it had been before this debacle, but the relationship would have been better for it.  
  
Well, it didn’t appear like any of that was going to happen any time soon, if at all. Why the fuck could they be so happy while she was here, chained to her home and going insane with so little to do due to doctor’s orders? Why did they get that freedom?  
  
She didn’t even know what had possessed her to look for what he’d been up to, but it had been one of those all too often moments of melancholy that had been coming over her since April. Until now, she had resisted the urge successfully. It had been the best thing for her.  
  
But after an entire afternoon of looking at all of the places Kate and Alex had gone since April, and the pictorial evidence that showed “something more”, literally made her livid. She wanted to punch the bitch and castrate him. Was this some kind of serial dater thing for him? Meet someone, spend time together, and then take them home to Sweden to meet everyone after just getting together?  
  
God, why had she been so stupid?  
  
Benny grumbled and slammed her laptop screen down a little harder than she should have and tossed the thing across the couch. It didn’t make her feel any better.  
  
“Fucking bastard,” she said.  
  
“I really hope you’re not talking to yourself,” said the voice behind her.  
  
Benny turned and narrowed her eyes at Joie who had come in with a garment bag from her favorite clothing broker, Starworks. “Where’s Jacob?”  
  
“He’s with his father today,” Joie said. “I had to get away.”  
  
“He’s only a month old,” Benny said.  
  
“Oh, I know,” she said. “But Aunt Benny needed his Mommy more. Where’s Harry anyway?”  
  
“He’s napping,” Benny said.   
  
Joie smiled. “So... I’m here with the most fabulous dress on the planet and completely in the dark as to why you need it.”  
  
Benny frowned. “You know what tonight is.”  
  
“Yes…” she said and paused. “But I thought you weren’t going to go.”  
  
“I wasn’t,” Benny said.  
  
“What changed your mind?” Joie asked.  
  
Benny looked at her. “I want to shank a bitch.”  
  
Joie burst out laughing at her. “You’ve really… got to… stop… watching… crime shows during the day.”  
  
“Don’t look at me,” Benny said. “You know what it’s like. Law and Order comes on and the dun-dun sounds, and I’m powerless to stop it.”  
  
Joie finally straightened out. “Okay, your less than spectacular choice of vocabulary aside, I take it we’ve finally made it to Vindictive Benny?”  
  
“You have a _name_ for my stages of grief?” she asked.  
  
“Of course I do,” Joie said.  
  
Benny glared.   
  
“Okay, so you’re going to the premiere tonight,” Joie said, suddenly all seriousness. “I ask, is that such a wise decision? I know for a fact Kate is going to be there. Cher was pulling dresses at Starworks when I was there. I overheard.”  
  
Benny frowned. “Fine, she can come to, and I will also ‘shank’ her. Two birds, one stone.”  
  
Joie sighed. “Honey, is that a wise choice? What if your blood pressure…”  
  
“My blood pressure has been fine,” Benny said. “I’ve been monitoring it daily like the doctor said. And my check up yesterday was okay. Besides, I deserve to go. It’s _my_ show, too. Why should I hide? And frankly, I just want to give him a piece of my mind.”  
  
“While I love it when you pull on the big girl panties, I am worried about you, Benny,” she said.  
  
“I promise if I feel the least bit poorly I will come straight home,” Benny replied.  
  
Joie sighed and sat onto the couch with her. “You sure you want to do this? You may go in there guns blazing, but seeing him may hurt more.”  
  
“I have to get over this. He obviously has,” Benny said. “Did you see he took her to Sweden a few weeks ago? That fucker.”  
  
“Ah, that explains it,” Joie said. “You were on that fan website again.”  
  
“What of it?” Benny said. “Look, Tess is headed over here any minute to do my hair and makeup and then I’m sharing a car with her since Sam had an appointment right before the carpet.”  
  
Joie shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but I hope it goes like you want it to.”  
  
Benny looked at her. “I hope so, too. Now, show me the dress you brought.”  
  
\----  
  
Alexander smiled for what felt like the billionth picture with his fans. He knew he needed to get inside and past the other paparazzi standing on the actual red carpet, but he had made sure to come over and see the people who had been waiting out here all day to catch a glimpse of him. Though his face ached and he really just wanted to get inside and disappear for a bit, he liked doing this for his fans. He was neither so arrogant nor foolish to believe that he had become as popular as he had without their unwavering support.  
  
And he had to give Kate time to walk the carpet without him. He just couldn’t do it tonight… not endure the questions. Oh, he knew it would come anyway, but he hoped to stave them off until the following day if he could. Or not acknowledge them at all. He had done that so far and everyone had just formulated their own opinions on the matter. Why should he say anything to dissuade them from what they believed?  
  
He bit his lip and smiled again at another flash, dipping down to the woman’s height who stood beside him for the photo. He had been such a fucking idiot. More than he would ever be able to understand, and the last two months had been murder for him. Benny didn’t call, email or attempt to contact him in any way. The only way he had been able to find out how she was doing was through her friends on set and also his own mother, who was keeping tabs on her health from Sweden. He had every right to march right back into the house and demand she listen, but something stopped him every time.  
  
What stopped him? Damned if he knew the answer. He had struggled to come up with one since this had all transpired. The best he could do was ascribing his action—or inaction, as it were—to fear. Fear that even if he fought for this, she would reject him. Fear that he would be in even more pain than he already found himself. Fear of everything.  
  
Normally, he wouldn’t shy away from fear. He liked grabbing the bull by the horns and wrangling it himself. It was what he did. Now, though, he found himself unable to face the mess he had created. Honestly, he didn’t know if he could take any more rejection from the love of his life, even though he knew he deserved it.  
  
Especially now, after _still_ not ending this PR stunt with Kate. After not confronting the girl. After he had allowed her to follow him to Sweden, and allowing her to think she had a chance with him.  
  
“Alex, we need to get you inside,” said the voice beside him.  
  
He glanced at his handler for the evening and nodded his head. He reached out and took a few more pens to sign photos and then started bidding farewells. With a wave of his hand, he headed off in the direction of the theater. Once inside, he was ushered to his seat without time to speak with anyone.  
  
It was as he was heading from the bar after watching the first two episodes that he saw her across the room, dressed in a floor length sapphire blue gown. And she looked amazing. More amazing than he could ever remember. Her hair was swept back into a twist and her makeup had been expertly applied—he had a feeling by Tess—and she had this glow about her.  
  
Even the way her lips were pressed into a firm line didn’t take away from the shining aura around her.  
  
He gulped. He hadn’t expected her to come at all. Not with the bed rest restriction she was on. She hadn’t been back to set since April, only doing some work from home for Audrey to fulfill her contract to HBO’s liking. No one had warned him she would show up. He wasn’t prepared for the confrontation that he was sure would ensue.  
  
“Alex?”  
  
He looked down as a small hand rested on his arm. He looked down at the blonde who stood beside him. Had she seen Benny?  
  
“Huh?” he said, not paying much attention to her. Benny laughed at something someone had said to her. Her face lit up, and her more rounded cheeks turned pink. She was blushing. But at who?  
  
Alex frowned.  
  
And then her eyes darted his direction. She pursed her lips again and brushed back a small tendril of hair from her face, trying to keep her attention on the people around her. But she couldn’t as her eyes kept scanning back to him.  
  
“Alex! Are you hearing anything I’m saying?”  
  
Alex glanced at Kate again. “Huh?”  
  
“Ugh, pay attention,” she scoffed. “I said we should go sit down.”  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Alex said. He followed her through the room, and sat at the seat beside her, but his mind was everywhere else but on Kate.  
  
\-----  
  
Benny felt her heart stop and her stomach clench painfully when she saw him looking at her like that across the room. She would have been an idiot not to see the look of both pain and lust on his face. For the first, she felt righteous in that he at least had some modicum of remorse for what he had done. For the second, it damn well served him right. He had his chance and he fucked up.  
  
And then that bitch had stepped up and spoken to him.  
  
It did give Benny some satisfaction, however, that Kate was summarily ignored while he continued staring.  
  
With a sigh, Benny forced herself to pay attention to the people around her. She was surprised with the outright support of many of the people she had worked with who knew the story. Most everyone seemed genuinely concerned for her well-being and had been taking care of her all evening. While all of them did their best to stay out of the particulars, it was nice to know that she had somehow gained more friends on set than she had thought she ever had.  
  
Anna slipped her arm through hers and leaned in to her. “I’m sure those heels are killing you. Come sit down with me at my table.”  
  
Benny laughed. “I don’t know why I let Joie talk me into them.”  
  
“Because you’re a slave to fashion,” Anna giggled. She moved Benny through the maze of tables, stopping periodically to speak to people.  
  
But then she realized that Anna was taking her directly past Alex’s table and Kate, who must have missed her before, was now fully aware of her presence at the premiere. She looked like something smelly had been placed under her nose.  
  
The hand Anna had on her arm squeezed a moment and then she stopped them right at the table. Benny had never felt more awkward or out of place in her life. But she kept a brave face, even though her heart was beating a mile a minute.  
  
“What is _she_ doing here?” Kate muttered under her breath.  
  
“I’d ask you the same thing,” Anna said. “At least this is also Benny’s show. You know, because she worked on it. You’re just here whoring yourself out.”  
  
Benny couldn’t believe Anna had said that to Kate’s face and in front of so many people. But the look of utter fury on Kate’s face couldn’t have made Benny happier, either. It was at that moment she loved Anna more than ever before. The girl had brass and she admired it.  
  
Before anyone could reply, Anna pulled her away from the table. A large hand grabbed Benny’s left arm and slid down to her hand. The touch sent electricity through her, making her long for him again. She wouldn’t give in. She would be strong.  
  
As his hand reached hers, his mission was obvious as his finger felt for the ring that had been removed from her finger. Not because she wanted to remove it, but because it didn’t fit her fingers with the added weight and swelling of late pregnancy.  
  
She didn’t have a chance to explain that though as he dropped her hand, shook his head and turned away. Anna continued to pull her across the room. Benny wanted to open her mouth to stop Anna. She wanted to run back to that idiot and kiss him.  
  
But she wouldn’t.  
  
She had to have some self respect, after all.  
  
Benny sat down beside Anna and tried to pay attention to the crowd around her. But she couldn’t. All she could think about was the man a few feet away, sitting next to Kate and the look of pure defeat on his face when he had grabbed her hand. God, why was this so hard?  
  
She shouldn’t have come. She knew that. She knew she wasn’t strong enough for this... and yet, it had been good. It had been good in the sense that everyone seemed to have teamed up on her side rather than Alex’s. Seeing people and the show was good, too, because it meant she wasn’t hiding. But it didn’t feel good to her.  
  
It only made her more anxious.  
  
Dinner progressed at an excruciatingly slow pace, but eventually it was over. Benny headed back to the bathroom before finding Tess to leave. The relative silence of the bathroom was a godsend from the cacophony that was outside.  
  
A few others came into the restroom, though, and were laughing at something. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled when she recognized one of them as Kate’s voice. Benny contemplated finishing quickly and leaving, but she could not make herself do it. She knew what women chatted about when they were in the bathroom.  
  
And she had a very morbid curiosity.  
  
“I can’t believe she showed up,” said Kate. “Like what does she think Alex is going to do? Just fall at her feet again? When she looks like that?”  
  
“I thought she looked beautiful tonight,” said Lisa. Benny bit her lip. She had grown to like Lisa and Bjorne, but she had never tried overly hard to become close with Lisa. Apparently Kate had bent over backwards to accommodate the woman and were now good friends.  
  
Kate huffed. “She’s huge!”  
  
“Generally speaking, women tend to look like that when they’re seven months pregnant,” Lisa said.  
  
“Whatever,” Kate said. “Obviously he doesn’t want anything to do with her.”  
  
Lisa stayed silent for a moment and looked at her. “Does he want anything to do with you?”  
  
Kate sighed. “Not for lack of trying on my part. He refuses all my advances.”  
  
“You looked pretty friendly tonight,” Lisa added.  
  
“He’s always friendly,” Kate said. “So is Bjorne and all his other friends.”  
  
Lisa sighed. “You know, maybe you should just get it out of your mind that it will be anything more than a PR show.”  
  
Kate didn’t reply for a long time, but then she sighed. “Not yet. We’ve got some other things planned, and then I’m coming with you and Bjorne to Sweden while he’s filming. Maybe I’ll have a chance there.”  
  
“Maybe.” Lisa didn’t seem impressed.  
  
“Come on,” Kate said. “We need to get to the club for the after party.”  
  
Benny waited a moment longer before rearranging herself, making sure they were gone before stepping out of the stall. Was what Kate had said true? Had they really done nothing at all? Sure, he had lied… but had he never intended a relationship with Kate like that? Perhaps she had been too hard on him.  
  
Still, that didn’t excuse him from being so stupid as to allow this show to continue. As far as Benny was concerned, being hounded by paparazzi on the street were she with Alex would have been far superior to being his “dirty little secret”. The fact that he had continued with the idiocy after Coachella just pissed her off more. She couldn’t have immaturity in her life; he refused to grow up and realize that this was Hollywood. And he was going to be used by people like Kate for a leg up as long as his star was rising.  
  
What Benny didn’t get was Lisa and Bjorne’s seeming involvement in all of this. She knew Alex and Bjorne were like brothers, but Lisa latching on to Kate like she had seemed odd. Why had she done that? True, when she and Lisa had spent time together it had always been friendly, but they didn’t have much in common besides their husbands and being a mother. Now Lisa was best buds with Kate? It just didn’t make any sense to her.  
  
Benny washed her hands and left the bathroom, quickly finding Tess. She was standing with Sam. They both smiled.  
  
“You ready to break free of this madness, sister?” Tess asked.  
  
“You have no idea,” Benny said.  
  
Tess smiled. “You did great tonight, if it’s any consolation.”  
  
“Did I? I thought I was horrible,” she said. “I felt completely lost.”  
  
Tess chuckled. “Girl, if it were me in the same situation, Alex would have two black eyes and wouldn’t be able to walk for a year. And that bitch… well, I’d snap her like a twig.”  
  
Sam laughed at his wife. “Oh, hon, I love it when you get violent.”  
  
Tess smirked and kissed him. “I know.”  
  
“That’s quite enough of that,” Benny said. “Not helping me at all.”  
  
“Oh, right, sorry. Men are dirt bags. You should hurt them,” Sam said with a wink. “I won’t be out late, Tess. I just have to make a short appearance.”  
  
“I know. Have fun,” Tess said, kissing him lightly again before he left and then turned to Benny. “Really, Benny, you held it together very well. But I think I should take you home before you turn into a pumpkin.”  
  
Benny looked down at her large belly. “I think you’re too late.”  
  
Tess giggled. “Let’s go.”  
  
With another sigh, Benny followed her friend out to the vehicles waiting to take people home. Benny climbed in after Tess and adjusted herself, watching through the tinted windows as they passed the line of people still milling about. Alex was there with Kate, Lisa and Bjorne. And though Kate had her hand possessively placed on the small of Alex’s back, he did nothing toward her. Frankly, it looked like he was uncomfortable.  
  
Served him right, Benny thought. But her head hurt too much to worry about it any more tonight. She would have time to thoroughly dissect it in the morning.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 24  
  
Alex had used his week in Hawaii meeting people and seeing the locations of the places he would be filming at the end of the summer as a sort of escape from his life. It had been him and only him touring the islands on business. The sun and surf and relatively nonexistent paparazzi had done him good.  
  
And it had given him a lot of time to do some much needed thinking about the current state of his personal life.  
  
He had allowed his want for stardom to cloud his better judgment. His friendliness had made him want to help Kate with her public image, because he had liked her. But he was realizing more and more with each day he spent with her that she wore a mask. It was a mask that she put on when she needed it--and it changed drastically from relationship to relationship. It covered up the real reason she did this below the surface. In some ways it was diabolical, but in other ways, it was just someone screaming out for positive attention... not from the media, but from a male who truly liked her.  
  
Somehow she had become confused over fantasy and real life and had begun to think he would ever look at her as more than a friend. He had not noticed that she had confused the two until it was too late. Too late for him to end it all. And too late to save the people he truly loved from any more pain than what he had already caused.   
  
For that, he held a great deal of resentment. Not just for her, but for the media at large. He wanted to be popular, but he truly hadn’t realized the extent that paparazzi would go to get a story—or how much publicists relied on them to spin stories in certain ways to benefit of their clients. Part of the problem was that he hired the same publicist that worked for Kate. That led to their being thrown together, and the reason the original deal had been struck between them.  
  
He had been completely clueless about everything. But he knew he didn’t learn until something smacked him in the face a few hundred times. This was one of those instances. He should have called the publicity deal off when he and Benny had started having fights about it. That should have been his first clue something was wrong. He had kept at it, though, trying to find a way to balance all the commitments in his life, but he had eventually lost track of some of them _and_ his priorities.  
  
After a further month of meditation on the subject, he knew what he had to do, but he was scared to do it. Would Benny even look at him again? He had tried calling her a few times since the premiere party, but she had not picked up the phone or returned his messages. She hadn’t worn his ring to the party, either. Clearly, she was attempting to move on.  
  
However, he wasn’t sure he believed she was moving on. The way she had looked at him that night had shot an arrow straight through his heart. It had given him some hope, even though he was a dolt and had not noticed it then. He should have seized the moment, tossed Kate off his back, grabbed Benny and drug her away with him to someplace secluded to get her to listen to him, fuck all the people who would start whispering about it at the party, or the press nightmare that would ensue.  
  
But he hadn’t. He had been passive and not stood up for what _he_ wanted like all those other times leading up to that moment. He had to take control of his life, step on some toes, and piss some people off. He couldn’t keep being the Yes Man for everyone, but still neglect himself and his own wishes.  
  
And now he was back in Sweden for filming, not having a moment to talk with her. To plead with her to take him back. What made it worse was the fact that Lisa had invited Kate to stay with her and Bjorne in Sweden, so he had to deal with her hanging on him any chance she could manage.  
  
It was one of the few times he was free of her and was out of rehearsals for the movie that he grabbed Gurra and went for a leisurely dinner. His family had been characteristically silent about the whole ordeal. They were Swedish, after all, and didn’t get into other people’s business, but he could feel the disapproval from all of them. Even Eija, who still hadn’t warmed completely up to Benny, had stayed clear of him. But like every other mistake in his life, they merely sat back and let him flop about searching for a way out of it, though they were there if he truly needed them to intercede.  
  
Gurra seemed to take this dinner as one of those times. It was after they had finished dinner and small talk, and they were both sitting back with a beer that Gurra looked at him for a very long time across the table. Though he was the younger brother, Gurra had always been the most sage.  
  
“Why are you here, Alex?” he asked.  
  
“I don’t understand,” Alex replied.  
  
Gurra smiled. “You should be at home with Benny.”  
  
“Mom’s there for this last month,” Alex said.  
  
“But not you.”  
  
Alex pursed his lips. “What’s this getting at?”  
  
“Because you need to be at home,” Gurra said. “Your first child is going to be born in a matter of days.”  
  
“Did Mom tell you to talk me? I already heard all of this from her before she left,” Alex said. “Frankly, I would be at home, but Benny doesn’t want me there. Neither does her family. Why stress her out more?”  
  
“Because you need to fucking man up,” Gurra said. “I like Kate well enough, but she needs to go. You need to do something... it’s really uncomfortable with her following you all over the world and intruding. Lisa didn’t make it any better by inviting her here while you work.”  
  
Alex sighed and rained his beer. “Look, I don’t want to talk about it right now. There’s no simple answer to this.”  
  
“No, there’s not, but you better think of something. Fast,” Gurra replied.  
  
Really, Alex didn’t want to hear it. He’d thought about such things a billion times by now and it just gave him a semi-permanent headache that he would rather not suffer from. He knew something had to be done and he would find the opportunity eventually. He had to.  
  
“I’m going to the bathroom,” he said. “Order me another.”  
  
Gurra nodded solemnly and Alex walked toward the back of the restaurant for the restroom, happy for a moment to collect his thoughts.  
  
\-----  
  
My hated the American medical system. She had only minimal exposure to it in the past due to the times she had come with Stellan when he was filming something. As her career had matured, she had been made to deal with more international medical communities. Even with that knowledge, America was still one of the worst for such a developed nation. Especially when it involved one of her family members.  
  
Actually, two family members to be exact.  
  
With a short glare at the nurse’s station, she walked into the private room where her daughter-in-law lay on the bed, attached to a number of different machines. Benny had had another attack of high blood pressure that had landed her in the hospital. My was only glad she had been able to convince Benny to let her come out to the states for the last few months of the pregnancy to keep an eye on her. She knew Benny hated being helpless, but on a bed rest prescription that had become more restrictive as the days marched by, she had needed help both medically and personally.  
  
And frankly, My refused to let anyone else take care of her. Sure, Benny’s parents were one thing, but she was the only one who knew the medical part of it.  
  
She also felt somewhat responsible for the way her idiot son had been acting. My had looked into his eyes before he left for Sweden and told him to get his life together and deal with what had happened. It wasn’t helping anyone if he continued with this stupid charade with that horrible woman and then ignored Benny. She had seen the pain there. She knew, as his mother, that there was so much left to be said. She knew he was aching not being with Benny. But his fucking Skarsgård pride had gotten in the way of his good sense once again.  
  
My only hoped that there was enough better character in the boy that would triumph over what his father had been unable to do for the many years of their own marriage.  
  
“What’d they say?” Benny asked.  
  
My walked over to her and sat down on the chair beside the bed and took her hand. Benny looked pitiful curled up into a ball. She also looked tired. Ready to be done with this pregnancy.  
  
“They still couldn’t tell me when the doctor would be in,” she said. “But I heard the nurses talk about inducing labor.”  
  
A tear slipped down Benny’s cheek. She wiped it away quickly. “Okay.”  
  
“It’s not so bad,” My said. “We have to get her out before you both get any worse.”  
  
“Will she be okay?” Benny asked.  
  
“You’re considered full term, Benny,” she said. “Everything will be fine. But it won’t if we continue to wait and put it off.”  
  
Benny nodded and turned her head, looking up at the fluorescent light above the bed. “My, I just wanted to thank you for being here for me. My mom and dad would be running around crazy if you weren’t here to help with the medical decisions and keep us calm.”  
  
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” My said. “Now, is there anything I can get you while we continue waiting for the blasted doctor to come in?”  
  
Benny closed her eyes and remained silent for a long moment. My was on the verge of repeating her question when Benny sniffled and wiped away a few more tears that had escaped.  
  
“What is it, love?” she asked.  
  
Benny glanced at her. “I want Alex.”  
  
My smiled to herself. Though Benny had not said so much since she had arrived, My had known Benny hadn’t given up on Alex yet, even though she was quickly losing what little hope she had left.  
  
“I want Alex here with me,” Benny said. “I miss him so much. Goddamn it, I want him here with me. He should be here.”  
  
My squeezed Benny’s hand. “Love, I will do everything I can to get him here. You have my word.”  
  
Benny gave her a tight smile. “I should have called him back all those times he tried to call me. I thought I could do this alone again. But I can’t. I need him.”  
  
“And he needs you, too, Benny,” she said. “You’re going to be the one grounding force in his life now that he has reached this level of popularity. He just hadn’t realized that yet and made stupid mistakes.”  
  
“Do you think he’s learned it yet?” Benny asked.  
  
“He is in the process of understanding,” My said. “He loves you, Benny. That has never changed or gone away.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Really,” My said. “And I’m not just saying it to comfort you. He is as much in love you now as he was before the breakup.”  
  
Benny sighed. “Okay.”  
  
My leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Let me step out and see what I can do.”  
  
\-----  
  
Alex sat heavily into the metal folding chair, staring at the phone in his hands. The last words his mother had spoken rang heavily in his head.  
  
 _“Don’t be like your father and let your hard head win.”_  
  
If there was one thing that anyone could have said to get him to do something, it was that. He had tried for the longest time to differentiate himself from his father, despite the fact that he was finding he was becoming the man more and more each day. The apple clearly did not fall far from the tree. Still, he hated being compared to the man. He didn’t necessarily enjoy always living in his shadow professionally and personally.   
  
And his mother knew that and played on that.  
  
A large body sat in the chair beside him and he looked up at the lumbering countenance, finding his father there. He stretched his long legs out and crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
“What’d she say?” Stellan asked.  
  
“They’re going to observe Benny for one more day, but if she doesn’t improve or she takes a turn for the worse, they’ll induce labor,” Alex said.  
  
His father nodded his head and slowly and looked at him. “And?”  
  
“And I need to go home,” he said. “To be with Benny even if she doesn’t want me there.”  
  
“Then go home,” Stellan said.  
  
“How the fuck can I do that? I have a movie to film starting in less than 48 hours,” he said.  
  
Stellan sighed. “That shouldn’t be your priority, Alex. Not in this situation. You take care of your family. The movie will wait for you.”  
  
“Until they recast me,” Alex said.  
  
“Sure, they might on other movies,” Stellan said. “But I know Lars won’t. Alex, you have to take an honest look at yourself. Do you want to be completely isolated your entire life because you want fame and big movie roles? Or do you want a woman who loves you and that you love, a family you adore? The answer is simple. Money and notoriety can be made in many different ways, but finding that other person in life that means everything to you is irreplaceable.”  
  
Alex pursed his lips and looked at his father. “How can you say that? You’re such a cynic as it is… you’ve been married twice… how can you say there’s just one person in this world? Are you saying Megan is that person to you?”  
  
“No, I’m not saying that,” Stellan said. “I loved your mother and still do. I love Megan. But neither of them ever seemed to complete me like Benny seems to do to you. When you two are together, I get chills… yes, even this old cynic.”  
  
“Benny would flip out if she knew you were rooting for her,” Alex said.  
  
Stellan smiled. “We made our peace awhile ago, Alex, and I know she’s the one for you. But do you know that she’s the one for you?”  
  
“I do,” he said. “More than anything. But she doesn’t want me.”  
  
Stellan sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. He handed it over to him and Alex unfolded it, looking at the writing. “A boarding pass?”  
  
“Your mother called me before you,” Stellan said. “She said you might need some convincing.”  
  
“That woman,” Alex said.  
  
“Is your mother and knows you better than you know yourself,” Stellan said. “Now, if I were you, I’d get to the airport. The flight’s only in a few hours.”  
  
Alex sighed. “I need to go talk to Lars.”  
  
“I’ll take care of that,” Stellan said, placing a fatherly hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Now go.”  
  
“Alright.” Alex stood and looked around for a moment before walking toward the exit.  
  
“And Alex?” his father called.  
  
Alex turned around. “Yeah?”  
  
“I’m proud of you, son,” he said.  
  
With a smile and slightly lighter step, Alex turned back on his path. He was going home, taking care of his family, and he was going to convince Benny he was worth a second chance.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 25

Alexander woke to a hand lazily running through his hair. It took a moment to orient himself to the world around him, but he realized he was hunched over a hospital bed and his neck and back ached. He lifted his head and sat up, blinking his eyes at the woman lying in the bed. She looked exhausted and as though she had been crying.

She held her arms out to him. Alex had to do a double take to make certain that she was actually asking him to come to her, but he didn’t hesitate for long. He pushed his chair back quickly and stood up, ignoring the protesting muscles in his body and leaned over, hugging her tightly to his chest, and without thinking, kissing her deeply. He didn’t care if he didn’t have the right to do it anymore. He was just too happy to be here and find her somewhat receptive to him.

“Oh, thank god you’re okay,” he said.

Benny chuckled lowly. “I’m fine.”

“My mom said…” he stopped speaking for a moment to gather his thoughts. “I tried to be here for the birth. For you. But I wasn’t.”

“I know,” she said.

“Benny, I’m so, so sorry,” he said as moved away. “I-I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“Shh,” she said softly, her voice hoarse.

Before he even had a chance to stop them, tears came freely. He had held them in through this whole ordeal. He wasn’t one to wallow. But he just couldn’t keep them back any longer.

“I was such an idiot,” he said. “I listened to other people when I should have listened to you.”

“Alex, stop,” Benny said, her voice watery. “I know you did. And I’m still angry at you for that. But I can’t be angry with you for other… things. I know you didn’t do anything with Kate. You just made stupid decisions.”

Alex reached for a tissue from the table beside the bed and blew his nose. “You must hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Benny said. Her lower lip quivered. “I love you.”

He sat back on the chair. “You shouldn’t.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t,” she said, “but I do. It’s up to you to show me I can believe in you again.”

Alex nodded, steeling himself to the task ahead of him. How he was ever going to begin repairing this relationship, he didn’t know, but he had a feeling that being here now was a big step for her. Benny reached up and rested a hand on his cheek.

“We’ll discuss it later,” she said. “After I’m out of the hospital.”

“Okay,” he said.

There was a knock at the door and he turned to find a nurse coming in, pushing a bassinette with a small bundle inside. The nurse smiled at them both. “We’re back from our nap.”

Alex felt as though the air had been knocked out of him when he realized it was his child in that carrier. He’d arrived late into the night and the baby had been taken from the room to the nursery at the doctor’s request for Benny’s rest. He’d been torn about whom he should see first.

He had ended up at Benny’s bedside, and had promptly fallen asleep, too.

The nurse stopped in front of him. “Are you Daddy?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, looking down into the bed at the pink swaddling. He’d seen so many babies in his life growing up in his family; he had stopped caring a long time ago. They were all the same eating, burping and crying machines. But not this one. This one was different. This one was beautiful with her large eyes open and electric blue like her mother’s, but clearly Scandinavian and tow-headed like him.

“Would you like to hold her?” the nurse asked.

Alex nodded, feeling tears of joy replace those of anguish. The nurse lifted the tiny baby girl and rested her into his awaiting arms. She was so tiny there, lying against his chest, and then she looked up at him.

He knew that she wouldn’t be able to distinguish his face right now, but she held his gaze anyway, and the entire world ceased to exist but for him and his baby girl. His daughter. He was a father. With this, Alex truly felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. Strangely, he liked it.

And then he realized he didn’t even know her name.

Alex looked up, noticing the nurse had gone, and turned to find Benny in the bed. She had tears in her eyes, too, and smiled. “What did you decide for a name?”

“Elizabeth Victoria,” she said. “Evie.”

“Evie,” he said softly, leaning down and gently kissing his daughter’s forehead. “I love you, Evie.” Alex hadn’t thought it possible to love another woman more than he loved Benny and his mother.

He walked over to the bed. Benny reached up and ran her finger along Evie’s small cheek. “She’s already got her papa wrapped around her little finger.”

Alex laughed. “Indeed she does.”

Evie started moving around and smacking her tiny lips. Benny smiled. “Hand her over.”

Reluctantly, he handed the baby over to Benny, who simply and easily maneuvered herself into feeding mode. Evie latched onto her breast like an old pro, and Alex sat down, pulling his chair up to the bed again to watch the process, finding it utterly fascinating.

His mother had done this five other times once he’d been born. He’d given a flying fuck about it then. Now, however…

“She’s perfect, Benny,” he said.

“I know she is,” she replied.

“And beautiful.”

“Of course she is, look at her father,” Benny replied.

Alex grinned. “Look at her mother.”

Benny laughed. “Flattery is what got us into this situation. Don’t lay it on too strong.”

“I won’t,” he said. “But it’s true.”

Alex sighed, watching mother and daughter, transfixed at the scene before him. After a while Benny looked up at him and grinned. “You can burp her.”

“Gee, thanks,” he said in a laugh, but gladly took the towel she had draped over her shoulder and put it on his own. “You know, I hate diaper duty.”

“I’m sure you do,” Benny replied, replacing her hospital gown and robe.

Alex hummed low in his throat, rocking slightly in the chair as he patted Evie’s back. She burped loudly, making him turn to make sure nothing had come out. “Yep, she’s a Skarsgård.”

Benny chuckled. “Hey, I think the Cowan burping gene could take on the Skarsgård burping gene any day.”

“True,” he said. “I’ve met your father and brother. Speaking of which… where is everyone?”

“Dad and Jack had to leave right after she was born… they open a show next week in Wisconsin,” she said. “Your mom went to go get my mom and Harry. I imagine they’ll be around soon.”

“Ah,” he said.

Benny sighed. “Yeah, you can relax. There will be no murder unless I tell them to do it.”

“You haven’t already?”

“No,” she said. “I thought I’d give you a second chance, despite everything.”

“Why are willing to do this… after the history of your relationships?” he asked.

Benny looked down at her hands and then picked at her blanket. “I have my reasons.”

Alex glanced at the baby in his arms, who was now sleeping. He kissed her tiny little head gently. “I don’t want you to stay with me just for the kids, Benny. I don’t want you to be stuck in an unhappy relationship just for them.”

“While they are two very good reasons to stick it out,” she said, “I have others. I may have heard of a devious little plan that had been hatched by a certain anorexic publicity whore.”

“You what?” he asked.

Benny pursed her lips. “This was all a plan to get you away from me. She was talking to Lisa about it in the bathroom at the premiere. She said you refused to touch her even though she tried.”

Alex saw red. Literally saw red. But was Benny really telling the truth? Despite the fact that he knew Kate had never been exactly truthful with him since they had started this whole charade, he just didn’t think the woman had it in her to do something like this. And so openly.

And that Lisa, whom he thought was a dear friend, sat back and watched this all go up in flames without warning him.

His stomach fell, wondering if Bjorne had known about it. If he had, then Alex just didn’t know what he was going to do. He, Bjorne and Lisa went so far back, he couldn’t think of not having them in his life. Had Hollywood corrupted everything around him? Had its reach gone so far?

For a split second, he wanted to accuse Benny of lying and that there wasn’t a possibility that this could have happened. That crisis could have been averted. But he couldn’t make himself believe that. As painful as it was to admit, he had an easier time believing that Lisa had willingly gone along with this plan and even helped Kate out in the long run, by inviting her to things she had no business being a part of. By inviting her to Sweden.

“Alex…” he heard his name and glanced up at Benny. “Are you okay? Where’d you go?”

“I-I made an ass of myself and really mucked this up,” he said.

Benny didn’t reply for a moment, but finally drew in a long breath. “I’m not going to try to make you feel better by saying you aren’t an ass and that we were both responsible for this. Because you are an ass and you did muck it up. But you did have other people who helped you muck it up. I don’t blame you for trusting those people, simply because I know you and I know you are so welcoming to everyone.”

He nodded his head. “Hollywood chewed me up and spit me back out.”

“Hollywood’s not done with you yet,” she said.

“That’s what scares me,” he replied.

“You’ll figure it out,” she replied. “We’ll figure it out.”

Alex nodded. “Starting by keeping no secrets from each other.”

“Yes,” she said. “And no publicity plans with costars.”

“I can do that,” he agreed.

Benny smiled and sighed. “When do you have to go back?”

“I don’t know,” Alex said. “I left the set when shooting started, and Dad said he would take care of it for me. Probably only a day or two. Then I’m gone until the end of August.”

“You’ll be out for Stephen and Anna’s wedding?” she asked.

He shook his head. “No. Only for the Emmys.”

“Oh,” she said. “You, uh, didn’t invite her to go with you to the Emmys, did you?”

“No, I invited Björne,” he said. “But she is in Sweden… though I did not invite her. Lisa did. She’s staying with them.”

“Ah,” Benny replied. “You know, it’s not healthy to hate a woman as much as I hate Kate right now, but I do.”

Alex swallowed. “I share your feelings at the moment if what you’ve said is true. And I am also conflicted about Lisa and Björne right now.”

“I don’t think Björne had any idea,” she said. “And even Lisa wasn’t that keen on the plan when she was talking to Kate.”

“Still, these were people who were supposed to have my back,” he replied.

Benny sighed. “Bros before hoes, Alex. You need to talk to Björne about it. Don’t wreck your friendship with him if you don’t have to.”

He nodded. “I won’t. It just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m so flipping confused about everything going on in my life. It’s going to take a lot of time to repair.”

“Yes, it is,” she said. “But you’ve already started. You’re here. That’s what matters. At least, to me anyway.”

“And me, too,” he said. “I almost didn’t come because I didn’t think you wanted me here.”

Benny chuckled ruefully. “Alex, I think that’s been the problem all along. I haven’t let you know how much I want you with me all the time. You are my other half, and I need you to be there for me and I want to be there for you. I know we have to have our own lives, but somehow it got lost in translation that I didn’t want to have any part of your public life. Being public is a part of your life. Yes, I didn’t want to be a part of your publicity by going to paparazzi-heavy locations and whatnot. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be seen with you at all. I never wanted to be your secret. I want you to be proud to have me on your arm and show me off. Honestly, I’m at the point right now that I will go to any fucking party or dinner or red carpet event you want me to go to just to make sure everyone gets the idea that you’re mine.”

Alex met her eyes and saw the tears there. “Man, you have no idea how good it is to hear you say that.”

“What?”

“That I’m yours,” he said. “Even after all of this.”

She smiled. “You’ve never stopped being mine. You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

“I feel the same about you,” he said.

Benny laughed. “You Swedes have an odd way of showing it.”

He shrugged. “Look, there is a learning curve here. I know I come from a showbiz family, but you know, this is the first non-actor relationship I’ve been in. It’s the only one where I ever felt this protective over. I’m learning.”

“As am I,” she said.

Alex stood up and carried the baby over to the bassinette and set her down carefully. He walked over to Benny’s bed and took one of her hands, squeezing and lifting to his lips. “I promise to try to be a better husband.”

“And I’ll try to be better, too,” she said. “We’ll do this together.”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he said.

“We’ll face the madness together,” she replied.

He leaned down and kissed her, lingering a moment, remembering how good it felt to kiss her. It had been too long. From this point forward, Alex knew he would never do anything purposely to put a wedge between them again. He knew there would be fights and disagreements, but he refused to let other people dictate his life with his love and his children.

Alex turned at the sound of the door opening. Harry pushed past and into the room, his eyes growing large as saucers when he saw him. Alex felt his heart tug at the sight, not realizing how much he had missed the little rascal. His son.

He knelt down and Harry ran to him, exclaiming, “Awex!”

Harry threw his arms around his neck, holding on a like a vice. Alex wrapped his own arms around the small boy and hugged him close to his body, picking him up.

“Daddy, I missed you,” he said, his voice full of tears. “Where you go?”

“I was, er…” Alex started, not knowing what to say.

Benny finished for him. “Alex was working, baby.”

“Oh,” Harry said. Harry moved his head back and looked at him and then buried his head in the crook of his neck again, sniffling.

Alex held the boy tight to him, not realizing just how much he had missed Harry, also driving home the fact that there had been a serious fuck up on his part that had caused their separation. He loved Harry as though he was his own flesh and blood, and as the small boy clung to him, refusing to ease his grasp, he knew Harry had missed him terribly.

“I glad you home, Daddy,” he said finally. “I have a baby sister. I need help!”

“I know you do,” Alex said softly.

Harry finally looked at him again, this time holding his gaze. “Did you see her?”

“I did,” Alex replied, turning Harry and pointing to the still sleeping baby in the bassinette.

“She beautiful!” Harry said.

Alex laughed. “I know she is. Here, go to your mommy.”

“No!” Harry exclaimed, his tiny fingers digging into Alex’s neck.

“Harry, come here,” Benny said.

“No! I not leaving Daddy!” Harry said, his crying renewing.

Alex placed a hand on the back of Harry’s head and kissed his hair.

“You not going, are you?” Harry asked feebly. His voice broke Alex’s heart again.

“Not right now, little man,” Alex said. “I just want to say hello to your grandmas.”

“Oh, okay,” Harry said.

Alex turned to the two women standing near the door, who had come in behind Harry. He hugged his mother first, Harry still attached to him like a spider monkey. His mother looked up at him and patted his cheek.

“I’m glad you made it,” his mother said.

“I’m glad I did, too,” he replied. He finally turned to Benny’s mother, who looked him over a moment. Though she was still fixing him with a calculating stare, her stance was not nearly as icy as it had been the last time they were in the same room. Clearly, he had a long way to go to earn her trust back.

“Trish,” he said.

She stepped forward and surprised him when she hugged him as well. “It’s about damn time you showed up.”

“I know,” he said.

“If you ever do something like this again, I’ll castrate you myself,” Trish warned. “Steve will be a cupcake compared to me.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said.

Trish stepped back from him and nodded her head. “Good, now that we understand each other…”

She walked over to the bassinette and looked over her newest grandchild. Alex sighed and looked at the other people in the room. He still felt horrible, but he knew it was going to get better. It had to.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 26  
  
Alexander was glad when the wheels hit the tarmac at LAX six weeks later. He’d put a solid performance into Lars’ movie, and was ready to get onto his next movie in Hawaii. But first, he had some important business and personal matters to tend to, then a few days of rest and relaxation with his family.  
  
He wanted, more than anything, to get home and hold his newborn in his arms again, and hug and kiss Benny, and play games with Harrison. It’d been incredibly difficult to leave them after he’d come home last… especially with his relationship with Benny so tenuous. But he’d spent a lot of his free time in Sweden on Skype with them, and he’d been able to watch his daughter grow over the last month.  
  
Though he knew there were still miles to go before he could truly feel comfortable that he had made amends with Benny, he felt that they were definitely in a better position now. What mattered most was that they both still felt drawn to each other and that their love had never waned, despite some of the idiotic things he had done. He was ready to spend the rest of his life making it up to her, he just hoped she would let him.  
  
Alexander made his way through the airport, the indelible paparazzi that haunted the place finding him as soon as he was out of customs and in the terminal. He met up with his driver and soon they were in the car and on the road. Alexander sighed and looked out on the road, his driver glancing in the mirror behind him.  
  
“They’re getting insane out there,” he said. “I’m sorry we couldn’t avoid them.”  
  
“No worries,” Alex replied. “It’s just one of those things we’ve got to deal with. I’ll get used to it eventually.”  
  
The driver smiled and looked back at the road. “I’m taking you to Slate PR, correct?”  
  
“Yep,” Alex said. “My meeting is in an hour.”  
  
“Traffic isn’t too bad right now,” he said. “We should be there with time to spare.”  
  
Alex smiled. “The meeting shouldn’t take long. Then to Tom Ford for my tuxedo. And then you can take me home.”  
  
“Which one?” he asked.  
  
“The Santa Monica one,” Alex replied. This man had been his regular driver for the past year or so and had been with him through this whole sordid mess. He was a good driver and had remembered all the places he took Alex to, including his friend’s house where he stayed after he had left Benny.  
  
He looked in the rearview mirror. “Did you finally make up with the missus?”  
  
“She’s not ‘the missus’ exactly, but yes,” Alex said with a rueful chuckle. “She had our daughter.”  
  
The driver smiled. “So it was a girl, huh?”  
  
“Yes. She’s beautiful,” Alex grinned. He glanced at his phone, with the picture of Evie on Benny’s chest as they both napped.  
  
“Bet you’ve already devised plans to keep her away from boys,” the driver said.  
  
Alex chuckled. “If I had it my way, she wouldn’t be let out of a protective bubble. There’s going to be an application and interview process, complete with background checks before they can even talk to her. And then her grandfather and uncles can be my armored backup.”  
  
The driver laughed and they lapsed into silence as they drove down the freeway. Alex sighed, looking out the window again. He hoped this meeting went well with his publicist, because he was doing this whether they liked it or not. Certainly there would be another PR company out there that would snap him up in a hurry, if it came to him firing them, or them dropping him. Frankly, he could care less right now.  
  
What mattered most was that everyone knew he wasn’t going to lie down and take it anymore. He was running the show and no one else was going to mess it up for him.  
  
\-----  
  
Benny sat up at the sound of the front door opening and closing, followed by two voices. She had expected Alex, but instead was greeted by Joie and Tess. “Why are you two here?”  
  
“Yeah, nice to see you, too,” Joie said. She tossed three garment bags over the back of the couch and dropped her purse on the seat.   
  
Tess walked over to her, pulling the elastic from her hair. “Well, at least you washed it today.”  
  
“What are you two on anyway?” Benny scoffed, pulling away from Tess.  
  
“Do you know how difficult it is to find plus size dresses this close to show time in this fucking deluded town of stick figures?” Joie asked.  
  
Benny looked at her friend. “Uh, yeah, I’m in fashion industry… and a plus size girl. I’m well aware of the fact that this town is dominated by starving women.”  
  
Joie huffed. “I had to fight Goretski and this other sniveling twit for these. You better fucking like them.”  
  
“I don’t understand,” Benny said.  
  
“We’re getting you ready for tonight,” Tess said. “I still have to get back home and do my own hair and makeup, so can we please hurry up and do yours?”  
  
“What are you talking about? I’m not going tonight,” she said. “Bjorne’s going with Alex.”  
  
“Oh, just great. Alex hasn’t even told you?” Joie said. She took out her cell phone and flipped through to her text messages.  
  
“ ‘Please help me get Benny ready for the awards show tonight’,” Benny read aloud. “ ‘I’ll be there to pick her up at 5:00.’”  
  
Benny frowned and handed the phone back to Joie. While it was true their relationship was back on track after extensive discussions these last six weeks, she did not expect this and actually understood the purpose of him taking Bjorne. But to call Joie and Tess and not warn her about this at all was a little daunting.  
  
But it was what she wanted. She wanted to be claimed. She wanted to go with him to these things. And he was making it happen whether she was prepared for it or not.  
  
“Come on!” Tess said. “You’re going to have to wash your hair again. I have to blow it out for the style I have in mind. What color are the dresses, Joie?”  
  
“They’re all red,” she said. “Ones more of a merlot, the other are more red carpet red.”  
  
“I don’t get a color choice?” Benny asked.  
  
Joie shook her head. “Your fiancé requested red. I found red.”  
  
“Stop asking questions,” Tess said. “In the shower… now.”  
  
“Okay… okay, I’m going,” Benny said, getting up from the chair. “You know, Evie and Harry are going to wake up from their nap any minute.”  
  
“I got it,” Joie replied, reaching for the baby monitor. “You two go. Let me know when you’re ready.”  
  
\----  
  
Two hours later, Benny found herself standing in front of the long mirror in her closet, turning back and forth, admiring the amazing gown Joie had somehow found that didn’t make her look like a whale. While she had lost most of the baby weight she had put on this time around, she certainly wasn’t back to fighting shape. But even she had to admit, with her hair blown out and tied back into a loose chignon, her makeup expertly applied and the jewelry Joie had brought, she looked like a million bucks.  
  
Joie finally stood up from arranging the slight train and looked her over. “Not bad if I do say so myself.”  
  
“You did amazing,” Benny said. “Thanks, I think.”  
  
“I’m just glad you two are back together,” Joie said.  
  
“I thought you were first in line to kill him when that all went down,” Benny said, turning the heavy diamond wreath around her neck to center it.  
  
Joie shrugged. “I still am. I had hope, though, he’d realize what a fucktard he was being.”  
  
“Fucktard? Really?” Benny laughed. “Are we back in high school?”  
  
Joie laughed. “Always.”  
  
Benny rolled her eyes and turned back into the mirror, sighing at herself. “I’m lucky I’ve got a built-in glam squad. Both you and Tess are amazing.”  
  
“I know,” Joie said. “Now, after the show, when you and Alex get back to the house, please make sure you take the dress off carefully and lay it over something so it doesn’t crumple up. Don’t get hot and heavy and tear it. Just… don’t do anything until the dress is off. I don’t want to have to explain it to Marchesa why it’s in shreds.”  
  
“Who said I was going to sleep with him?” Benny asked.  
  
Joie rolled her eyes. “If you don’t, I’ll have lost all respect for you.”  
  
“Great, glad we have that settled,” Benny said, shifting the weight on her feet and cringing at the pain. “Oh, and thanks for the sky high heels. Did Alex request those too?”  
  
“Nope, that was all me,” Joie smiled. “Now, do you feel okay? Do you need to pump?”  
  
Benny shook her head. “I did that while Tess did my hair.”  
  
“Good,” Joie said.  
  
“I’m glad you two are mothers now and understand it and aren’t grossed out by it,” Benny said.  
  
Joie opened her mouth to reply but stopped when they heard the commotion downstairs with a jubilant Harry and a baby crying from the noise. Josh, who had appeared a little while ago, had been assigned child minding duties while Joie helped her dress.  
  
“Where’s your mommy, Harrison?” asked the deep voice downstairs.  
  
“Upstairs with Auntie Joie,” he squealed.  
  
Benny heard the sound of his feet coming up the hardwood-covered stairs, clearly already wearing his dress shoes for the evening. He poked his head in the room, a giant smile on his face. He looked amazing in his tux. And awake and happy, despite the jet lag he was probably feeling at the moment.  
  
His eyes slipped over her for a minute longer and he stepped over to her, pulling her into his arms and laying one on her. Finally, he stepped back and grinned again. “Hi.”  
  
Benny giggled, her head swimming. “Hello.”  
  
“Sorry for the short notice,” he said. “You look amazing.”  
  
“Thanks,” she said and kissed him again. “Why am I going with you to the Emmys?”  
  
He stepped back from her, holding her hands and meeting her eyes. “I told my publicist to stuff it and that I’m taking you to the Emmys.”  
  
“What about HBO?” she asked.  
  
“I told them to stuff it, too,” he said. “I’m sick and tired of letting them control me. From now on, it’s just you, me and the kids.”  
  
“Who said _I_ wanted it to be you, me and the kids?” she asked.  
  
He froze for a moment, worry passing through his eyes.  
  
She grinned. “I’m kidding, Alex. All I want for us is to forget about this and move on.”  
  
“You’re just making me sweat as payback,” he said.  
  
“Something like that,” she replied.   
  
Alex laughed and glanced at his watch. “Are you ready to go? We’ve got a date with the blood thirsty paparazzi.”  
  
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” Benny smiled. “Let’s do this.”  
  
\----  
  
Joie chewed on her nails as she watched the telecast of the red carpet, waiting for Benny and Alex to make their appearance. While every stylist wanted the gloating rights of making the stars beautiful, Joie found herself more nervous about Benny for a change. She really could care less what her clients looked like right now. The most important thing was that Benny appeared both happy and content to be in the spotlight with her fiancé.  
  
“Babe, stop chewing,” Josh said, wrapping his arms around her body to hold her hands down in her lap. “They’ll be fine.”  
  
“I know,” Joie said and sighed. “I just worry about Benny.”  
  
Josh kissed her temple. “She’ll be fine. I think she’s been ready to be out there for a long time. They just got confus—.”  
  
“Look! There they are!” Joie said, pointing to the screen.  
  
Joie could just see Alex’s head over the sea of people, waiting to step into the line of paparazzi at the entrance of the red carpet. The fans that had come out to watch the arrivals screamed at them. The camera cut away from the interview Ryan Seacrest had finished to show the new arrivals before cutting to commercial.  
  
Joie screamed at the television.  
  
“Calm down,” Josh laughed.  
  
“Shut up, Joshua,” she scolded. “This is important.”  
  
Not that she needed to know what was said. She was fairly certain what was going through everyone’s mind right now. First, why was he with a beautiful, healthy brunette and not a stick thin blonde bobblehead? And secondly, why did she have an engagement ring on and why didn’t anyone know about her?  
  
Joie chewed on her lower lip, waiting for the to telecast come back on. When it did, it showed Alex standing in front of the cameras, with Benny lost in the sea of people. Joie frowned… if he did this the whole way down the carpet, they were going to have words later.  
  
But then, just as the camera was preparing to cut away to Guiliana Rancic, Benny stepped up beside him. Alex placed an arm around her, proudly showing her off to the crowd of photographers whose flashes had increased now that they were together. And then Benny looked up at Alex, and it was done. He kissed her fully in front of everyone, sending a fervor through the crowd that Joie had not anticipated. The camera flashes had to be blinding.  
  
The camera then cut away and Joie sighed. Well, it was all over. It was done. Alex had officially claimed her in the public eye; there would be no turning back for them. Alex wouldn’t be able to deny the press entrance into his personal life, but Joie hoped that he had at least learned how to manage the fishbowl effect without taking everything everyone said to heart.  
  
“Can we change the channel now?” Josh asked.  
  
“No,” Joie said. “They may still have an interview or two.”  
  
Josh rolled his eyes and got up from the couch to go get another beer. Joie watched him walk away and smiled. They’d gone through the same type of thing a long time ago, and Josh hadn’t been famous then. Even then, it had caused them some growing pains that they got through to be where they were today.  
  
With any luck, Alex and Benny would get back to planning their wedding now that they were on the mend. But Joie wasn’t sure she could handle that fiasco if the paparazzi really latched onto this.  
  
\----  
  
Benny pushed back on Alex, unable to control the giddy smile on her face, and smacked his chest playfully. “Stop it! Do we really need all this attention?”  
  
“Yes, we do,” Alex nodded, squeezing her hand and leading her down the carpet some more. People were shouting for them left and right, but he followed his handler through the throng of people, coming upon Anna and Stephen posing for pictures.  
  
Anna broke away from Stephen and made a beeline for her. “You made it!”  
  
“I don’t think I had a choice,” Benny said. “McQueen again?”  
  
“You know I’m a slave for McQueen,” Anna laughed. “You look amazing. I can’t believe you just had a baby.”  
  
Benny shrugged. “Well, good genes, I guess. And thanks!”  
  
“Did you make the gown?” Anna asked.  
  
“Oh, no, I can’t take credit for this one,” Benny said. “It’s Marchesa.”  
  
“Oh my god!” said a faux high-pitched voice beside them.  
  
Benny turned with Anna to find Stephen and Alex standing close. “What _are_ you wearing? You look ah-may-zing!”  
  
“Oh, shut up,” Anna said, smacking her husband.  
  
Stephen laughed and stepped over to Benny, kissing her cheek. “You really do look amazing, though, Benny.”  
  
“So do you,” Benny laughed.  
  
“How’s the little angel doing?” he asked.  
  
“Well, you know, she eats, sleeps and shits,” Benny said. “Pretty normal.”  
  
Stephen laughed.   
  
“Go do pictures,” she said. “They’re waiting for you.”  
  
Benny stepped back into the massive knot of people pressing toward the entrance to the theatre slowly, watching as Alex, Stephen and Anna all posed for pictures together. As she stood there, and took a look around at her surroundings, she had a moment of anxiety. She didn’t feel like she belonged here, especially not on Alex’s arm.  
  
But she was here. On Alex’s arm. And he had made a big point of claiming her as his the whole length of the carpet. Those things were all that mattered. Well, that and the fact that despite the bevy of beautiful women walking by him—some trying to catch his eye—he wasn’t looking at them, looking for her in the crowd.  
  
And when he saw her, his entire face lit up in a smile. Benny was quite certain that was all the confirmation she ever needed in the world to trust him. Despite some missteps along the way, she knew deep down he had never strayed from her, and most likely never would. They would have to work hard at their relationship, but what relationship didn’t need work? Even her own parents who had been together for nearly thirty-five years had to continually reevaluate their relationship and their wants and needs.  
  
She knew without a doubt they would have to do it, too, and she was thankful to have someone like Alex to do it with.  
  
He finished with pictures and strode over to her, wrapping an arm around her. He kissed her again. “I have to go do an interview with Ryan Seacrest.”  
  
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll just hang out.”  
  
“No,” he said. “You’re coming with me, like every other significant other does when they’re being interviewed.”  
  
Benny met his eyes. “Are you sure?”  
  
“Yes, come on. No more hiding,” he said definitely, taking a hold of her hand and stepping up to the stairs and the platform.   
  
Yes, they could do this forever so long as they were together.  
  
  
  
 _fin_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it for this series, though I'm keeping the option open for a wedding oneshot in the future. I hope you enjoyed reading the series!


End file.
